Saturday, February 27, 2016

New place, new beginning...

     So it's been almost 2 months since I relocated to Malacca from KB...started my gazettement in Hospital Malacca just after the New Year...which seemed like a great start to a new year...close one chapter and start a new chapter...and the story continues...I suppose this is a good place to start afresh...in a city where I'm a stranger to...where nobody knows me and my past...where everything is new and full of exciting possibilities...

     Work life has been great so far...although not without drama that makes Grey's Anatomy dull in comparison...ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit...but drama is drama...don't get me wrong...my boss is great...and she's very supportive and helpful and teaches me a lot while giving me lots of room to learn on my own...and my MOs are great...so are most of the staffs...it's just the situations that occur during our day to day work that are dramatic...in a way, it is more preferable than office politics and human drama...

     So now that I've got the career that I've always wanted...it should be time for wedding bells and kids right? hmmm, but I think I have the bad habit of sabotaging my own love life... in as much as I want to start a family, I think deep down in my subconscious mind, I'm a commitment-phobe...so I kept dating men who are wrong for me...even when I know that from the start...even when close friends tell me what I already know...I still jump into it with eyes wide open...or was it blind faith? maybe so that few years or months down the road, I can use the "we're wrong for each other" reason to get me out of it before things get too far? and maybe deep inside, I'm a boyfriend-stealing bitch...since I've managed to get myself involved with men who were already in a relationship with another woman...although not in a thousand lives could I imagine how I could have managed to do that... I'm not proud of that...it makes me mad at myself...and mad at those two-timing bastards...but who am I to throw any stone huh?

     So they say that I should not let my past define my future...or something like that...and my past mistakes does not mean the end of my world and I should take them as lessons learnt...or something to that effect...and an idea came to me one of those sleepless nights... that I should celebrate my birthday in a new city/ country every year from now on...and so, I shall be keeping myself busy planning for my birthday trip this May...and perchance, a miracle happens and I do meet a man whom I will be crazy enough about to want to marry and vice versa...and an even bigger miracle of that happening before all my ova expires...who says I can't still be celebrating my birthday in a new city/country each year? I'll have someone to share half the cost of travelling...how wonderful is that huh?