Saturday, December 31, 2011

Blessed 2011...now to prepare for 2012...

So somewhere beginning of this month i joined a contest to win 6 months free facial...and i tried every legal and ethical measure i could to bid for votes...got my friends to help share my photo to ask their friends to vote for me...i messaged every FB friend i had (which were less than 500)...and then Cam found out the other girl who had more 'likes' on her photo had 4004 friends in her FB account...and i thought, yea, i give up...there's no way i could win even if all my friends voted for me...it'd be a miracle if i won...

The day after i came back from Singapore, Urban Essentials put up the top 3 finalists with their number of valid votes...and what do you know? despite the other girl having more 'likes' on her pic, my valid votes were still more...and yesterday, they announced the winner...i won!!! a miracle!!! God is so good...i'm so grateful to Him and all my friends who've shared my photo and voted for me...and also to my friends' friends who voted for me....

One of my 2011 resolution was to get a new camera...i wanted either a sony alpha nex or a panasonic lumix gf for Christmas...Ah Lok decided that he wanted to get me a sony alpha nex 5...he had quite a hard time trying to buy it for me...coz the model that i wanted was limited in stock...i thought i wasn't getting my camera this year...i didn't mind waiting till next year CNY...but then he gave me a surprise...special delivery to KB...in person...soooo happy!!!! God is really too good to me...for sending angels into my life to remind me of how much He loves me...

A friend asked if it was a 'special' friend who gave me my new camera...i replied, i'm not sure how to define our friendship...last night i actually dreamt about Ah Lok...the dream was quite disturbing...i dreamt that we were in a car...his parents were in the front seats and we were in the back seats...wasn't sure what the ongoing conversation was all about, what car we were in, where we were going...i just remembered that along the way, he took my hand and held it...under normal conscious circumstances, i think i would have pulled my hand away...but in my dream, i let him hold my hand...is my subconscious trying to tell me something? i don't know...perhaps it's better not to dwell into it too much...not exactly in the right state of mind to even consider a relationship...and my deepest fear is that i would not be able to love anyone with all my heart and soul...not with so much uncertainties in my life at the moment...

The last week of 2011 has been an overwhelming week of blessings and miracles...but i'm so carnal...the ungrateful brat in me actually thinks that maybe God is 'fattening' me up for the slaughterhouse coz come tomorrow, January 1st, i'll be back in HUSM...and i'm so afraid despite me being so grateful now for His love, blessings and miracles, when things go awry on Sunday, it'll be so easy for me to turn and shout at Him for not being there for me...and that it'll be so easy for me to forget all the wonderful blessings and miracles i experienced just the week before...that suddenly 'last year' would seem so faraway...

Lord, please help me to remember Your goodness...despite what the New Year may bring...help me to surrender everything into Your hands...that i may trust that You're carrying me on Your wings when my whole world seems to be falling apart, Lord...You have never forsaken me...and You never will...all You need is my Amen...may You always have my Amen, Lord...Happy New Year 2012!!!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

To Save A Life...my last CF meeting of the year...and probably for good...

I was glad that i wasn't on call yesterday night...so i decided to go to the last CF meeting of the year...according to the CF FB page, it was Popcorn Wednesday...we were going to watch a movie called "To Save A Life"...i thought i'd go since this might be the last time i'd get to go for CF meetings...once i'm back in hell next year, there's probably no way i'd get to get off work in time for CF meetings...Wednesdays are major ot days...joy...

So after praise and worship, we all settled down on the mat and watched the movie...the movie revolved around this high school basketball player named Jake Taylor whose best friend was Roger Dawson...they grew up together...Roger saved Jake from being run down by a car (which left Roger with a limp)...but freshman year changed their friendship...Jake hung out with the cool kids...while Roger was left out and alone...Roger shot himself in front of everyone in school during his senior year...and that started a change in Jake...who eventually found God in his life...

I thought it was a very good movie...of course i cried as usual...i always enjoy watching how God transforms people to become His vessels to be used for His glory...there was a line that Jake said in the movie: I don't want to be just some Christian...and his youth pastor replied: Good, i don't want you to be just some Christian...that line left quite an imprint...i too, don't want to be just some Christian...but i'm so afraid that if i say that to God, i'll have to go through so much pain in order to not be just come Christian...and God knows how much i fear pain...i know i can't go through my pains alone, Lord...but with You carrying me through, i know it'll be bearable...

My 30th Christmas...in Singapore...Blessed Adventure...

I decided to go down to Singapore for my 30th Christmas...i didn't want to stay in KB coz i feared it would be too depressing...i didn't feel like going back to KL coz well, i just didn't feel like it...so i thought i'd take the train down to Singapore for the Christmas weekend...remind me never again to take the seat coach on a night train...not exactly the most pleasant experience...

My journey to Singapore is quite one of faith...i didn't have a single Singapore cent with me when i came out from the Woodlands checkpoint on Friday morning...but God found me a money-changer opposite the bus stop...and i changed rm100 into sgd40.70...planned to use my debit card when shopping...found my way to Suntec City just in time to meet up with my aunt for lunch...left my luggage with my aunt for her to bring back to her place coz i was meeting up with Yin Yee after her work...we were going to her church's Christmas celebration...

It was quite an adventure trying to find my way to Yin Yee's workplace at Marina Bay Financial Centre...but i loved the idea of walking along underground malls...met some new friends at her church...one was an Iranian guy...and i found out that Iranians celebrate Winter Solstice by eating all night long...how cool is that huh? church was at NUS...so i found my way back to aunt's place at Toa Payoh North...thanks to my new friends...

Christmas eve lunch with aunt at Kallang...pork rib prawn mee...interesting mix...then i met up with Sherine and Yin Yee at Suntec City...Sherine, MeiLing and i were going for City Harvest's Christmas service at 2pm...Yin Yee went painting with Kathy and John...the Christmas service was pretty amazing...it was at one of the convention halls...and the musical they put up was almost professional...it did feel a little commercialized...

Met up with Kian Ming and his girlfriend at Bishan interchange for dinner...i really love the idea of underground malls at MRT stations...at least you can go shopping if your friends were running late...it was good to have caught up with Kian Ming...initially thought of checking out Orchard...but after considering the crowd that might be, we decided against it...so yea, my Christmas eve didn't turn out the way i imagined it would be...didn't bump into any good-looking guy under the mistletoe...i got back to aunt's place about 11pm...spent some time reading the Bible...replied Christmas messages...then went to bed...

So Christmas morning i was supposed to meet Yin Yee at Katong Shopping Centre at 945am coz we were going to the Cornerstone church Christmas service...so i took the MRT from Braddell station to Dhoby Ghaut and caught the no. 10 bus to Katong...arrived at about 10am...then i saw Yin Yee's message...saying: hey, where are you? i'm at city hall mrt.......i was like, hmmm, what's going on? tried calling her, couldn't get through...good thing the messages could go through...so i took the no. 14 bus from the opposite side of the road back to city hall...reached there about 1030am...

Apparently, of all the messages that Yin Yee and i exchanged the night before, the most important one that informed about the change of venue did not get through to me...hence the Christmas morning adventure...but it's amazing how God came through all this...and what's more amazing was that during the altar call, when the pastor asked if anyone has never invited Jesus into his/her heart and experienced the joy of Christmas, my new Iranian friend raised his hand...and he went to the front and said the sinner's prayer...i'm not sure if he really knew what he was doing...but for me, it was a miracle i needed to see...

After lunch, Yin Yee and i went to Tanglin Mall...i was at That CD Shop in City Hall and they didn't have Corrinne May's older albums but the girl in the shop checked that Tanglin Mall had them...along the way, saw this guy sitting by the roadside in front of a stretch of Tudorean shophouses...he was drawing the buildings...very very nice...anyway, they only had Corrinne May's 'Beautiful Seed' in Tanglin Mall...apparently even that branch ran out of her 'Save in a Crazy World' album...so sad...but still glad that i got her 'Beautiful Seed'...

We went to meet up with Jessie and Sherine at Katong112...then went to one of their church member's place at the east...nice apartment...i think i like the east side of Singapore...feels more homely and less crowded...we shared and prayed and i felt really glad...Yin Yee has grown so much in her walk with the Lord since i first met her in Camp Cameron...we had late dinner somewhere along Katong...first time trying 'mee pok'...quite nice...then Yin Yee accompanied me back to Dhoby Ghaut MRT...by then my EZlink card was low on cash and i only have sgd2 left in my wallet...thank God for Yin Yee who helped me to top up the card...really grateful...

Was supposed to take the 9am bus from Golden Mile Plaza back to KL on Boxing Day...aunt and i only left her place at 810am...and she didn't say anything about we were going to be late...and we were taking the MRT...but by 855am, it became apparent we weren't going to make it in time for the bus coz we were still 5 stations behind...aunt tried to get the bus ppl to wait for us but the guy said they'll wait at most 10 minutes..so we hopped off at Paya Lebar station and caught a cab...but we still couldn't make it in time...so we asked the cabbie to send us to Tuas checkpoint to catch the bus...thank God we made it there before the bus...aunt said if she had a heart condition she might have had a heart attack...so much drama...i told her, with me, life's always exciting and adventurous...hahahaha...really felt bad to drag aunt into my adventures...the cab cost sgd 20 over...almost the price of my bus ticket...

So yea, that was my 30th Christmas...no, i didn't crowd with the people in Orchard on Christmas eve...i didn't even make it to Marina Bay Sands...but it was a Christmas filled with blessings and miracles i needed to help me remember how much God loves me...coz i'll definitely need to remember these come the New Year...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Christmas Night...revisited...

So tonight was the campus Christmas Night...after 5 years, once again i'm part of Christmas Night...i don't usually miss things or even people...there's definitely nothing to miss in Kelantan, except Christmas Night and church...but i guess i didn't realize how much i missed them till i came back here...so after 5 years of missing the exhiliration of choir-singing, i've finally tasted it again tonight...praise the Lord!!! I missed dancing too...

The Christmas Night was great...we didn't perform like professionals...but everyone gave their best... and Dr Tee was right...i was worried we would sound real bad on stage based on our practice sessions....but he said, don't worry, you would sound better on the day itself...and we did sound better...it's really encouraging to see young(er) people coming together to give glory to God...

I'm still wide-eyed from the adrenaline rush...hence am typing this post despite it being closed to midnight now...how is it that i love the adrenaline rush of performing on stage (not solo though) but hate giving presentations? oh, i guess coz most of the time i perform in a group...i just hate being in the limelight (alone)...and get bombarded with questions i don't know how to answer...

Can't wait for tomorrow night...i'll be up on board on a train down to Singapore...yes, i'll be celebrating my 30th Christmas in Singapore...i just hope i can sleep in the train coz i bought the seat ticket coz they ran our of berth tickets...

Here's the lyrics to one of the song we sang tonight...just thought i'd share the Christmas spirit:

Christmas isn't Christmas, till it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts
So give your heart to Jesus, you'll discover when you do
That is Christmas, really Christmas for you

Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire, a light like a candle glow
He's waiting now to come inside as He did so long ago
Jesus brings gift of truth and life, and makes them bloom and grow
So welcome Him with a song of joy, and when He comes you'll know.....

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Christmas Night Choir...and Christmas blessings...

Christmas season is here again...and this is my last month of good life before descending again into hell...the thing about human is, if you've never tasted the good things in life, you won't miss them coz you never knew what you were missing...but once you have, and you know you need to go back to a horrible life, oh, the agony...the despair...it's just too much to bear...

Anyway, we shall leave the lamentations for new year's eve...i'm going to be excited for Christmas...so i joined the the campus Christmas Night choir...just for old times sake...i missed singing in the choir...i missed dancing too...but i thought i'd only have time for one commitment...so choir would be easier... going for choir practice tonight...forgot how fun it was to be in a choir...

Was out for lunch with Karen earlier...she had some complimentary vouchers from Angie for free lunch for 2 at Renaissance Hotel...so she invited me along...so nice...and last night, i was out with a friend who lives in KB...although i've been here for the last 6 months, we've never got to meet up...finally met up yesterday for dinner...and he bought me dinner...i think God's giving me as much blessings as i can receive now to prepare me for my post-new year descent into hell...so that at least when i'm in my sufferings, hopefully i'll remember some of the good things God has given me...you know how humans are...when they're in a pit, it's so easy to think they've always been left in a pit and forget all the blessings they've received....

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Hehe, i joined a contest...

2 days back, i saw a post that my elder sister put up on her FB page...it was a contest by Urban Essentials to win 6 months free facial...for the lack of excitement in my life, i thought i'd just join it...so i submitted a photo from my makeover 2 years ago...i don't think my looks have changed much from 2 years back...but then again, 6 months into my masters programme, i've probably aged 5 years...hahahaha...so yea, i do need good facial treatments to rejuvenate my skin...

Didn't think my photo would be chosen...but maybe there weren't many photos submitted so mine was chosen to be one of the 9 contestants...so now all i need is to get people to vote for my photo...coz the most voted photo will be the winner...

Anyway, here's the link to the contest page....

Contestants- Urbanite Photo Contest

Mine is the 6th photo...feel free to have a look and click 'like' on my photo...but for your vote to count, you'll need to go to the Urban Essentials main page and 'like' the page as well...thank you...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

My camp buddy was involved in an accident...

If i could paint November, it would have been a mixture of happy colours stained with huge black spots...i found out about the death of 2 friends within a week apart...i didn't think i could bear hearing about another friend's death...but December has started with another bad news...today i found out that my camp buddy Fadz was involved in a car accident on Sunday...he was driving alone when his car collided with another car which carried a family of 5...Fadz escaped the Grim Reaper's grip but not so the driver of the other car...

I don't know what exactly happened...and i actually messaged Fadz on Monday to asked him out for lunch oblivious to the fact that he was probably in a lot of pain in the hospital...and i was a bit crossed that he didn't reply me...horrible me...but i really thank the Lord that Fadz is still alive...i know, i'm a self-centred person...i want my friends around me...that's why i don't think i can bear it if Fadz didn't make it out of the accident alive...

I feel sad that the driver of the other car is no longer around...may he/she rest in peace...and may God bring comfort and healing to his/her family...and i'm sure Fadz is very traumatized by the whole thing...the regret of causing the death of another human...although the accident may not have been his fault...but i'm really grateful that God protected Fadz....may He grant him peace and healing as he rests at his home...may God speeds his recovery....and hopefully Fadz doesn't get into too much trouble with the legal issues...