Saturday, December 31, 2011

Blessed 2011...now to prepare for 2012...

So somewhere beginning of this month i joined a contest to win 6 months free facial...and i tried every legal and ethical measure i could to bid for votes...got my friends to help share my photo to ask their friends to vote for me...i messaged every FB friend i had (which were less than 500)...and then Cam found out the other girl who had more 'likes' on her photo had 4004 friends in her FB account...and i thought, yea, i give up...there's no way i could win even if all my friends voted for me...it'd be a miracle if i won...

The day after i came back from Singapore, Urban Essentials put up the top 3 finalists with their number of valid votes...and what do you know? despite the other girl having more 'likes' on her pic, my valid votes were still more...and yesterday, they announced the winner...i won!!! a miracle!!! God is so good...i'm so grateful to Him and all my friends who've shared my photo and voted for me...and also to my friends' friends who voted for me....

One of my 2011 resolution was to get a new camera...i wanted either a sony alpha nex or a panasonic lumix gf for Christmas...Ah Lok decided that he wanted to get me a sony alpha nex 5...he had quite a hard time trying to buy it for me...coz the model that i wanted was limited in stock...i thought i wasn't getting my camera this year...i didn't mind waiting till next year CNY...but then he gave me a surprise...special delivery to KB...in person...soooo happy!!!! God is really too good to me...for sending angels into my life to remind me of how much He loves me...

A friend asked if it was a 'special' friend who gave me my new camera...i replied, i'm not sure how to define our friendship...last night i actually dreamt about Ah Lok...the dream was quite disturbing...i dreamt that we were in a car...his parents were in the front seats and we were in the back seats...wasn't sure what the ongoing conversation was all about, what car we were in, where we were going...i just remembered that along the way, he took my hand and held it...under normal conscious circumstances, i think i would have pulled my hand away...but in my dream, i let him hold my hand...is my subconscious trying to tell me something? i don't know...perhaps it's better not to dwell into it too much...not exactly in the right state of mind to even consider a relationship...and my deepest fear is that i would not be able to love anyone with all my heart and soul...not with so much uncertainties in my life at the moment...

The last week of 2011 has been an overwhelming week of blessings and miracles...but i'm so carnal...the ungrateful brat in me actually thinks that maybe God is 'fattening' me up for the slaughterhouse coz come tomorrow, January 1st, i'll be back in HUSM...and i'm so afraid despite me being so grateful now for His love, blessings and miracles, when things go awry on Sunday, it'll be so easy for me to turn and shout at Him for not being there for me...and that it'll be so easy for me to forget all the wonderful blessings and miracles i experienced just the week before...that suddenly 'last year' would seem so faraway...

Lord, please help me to remember Your goodness...despite what the New Year may bring...help me to surrender everything into Your hands...that i may trust that You're carrying me on Your wings when my whole world seems to be falling apart, Lord...You have never forsaken me...and You never will...all You need is my Amen...may You always have my Amen, Lord...Happy New Year 2012!!!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

To Save A Life...my last CF meeting of the year...and probably for good...

I was glad that i wasn't on call yesterday night...so i decided to go to the last CF meeting of the year...according to the CF FB page, it was Popcorn Wednesday...we were going to watch a movie called "To Save A Life"...i thought i'd go since this might be the last time i'd get to go for CF meetings...once i'm back in hell next year, there's probably no way i'd get to get off work in time for CF meetings...Wednesdays are major ot days...joy...

So after praise and worship, we all settled down on the mat and watched the movie...the movie revolved around this high school basketball player named Jake Taylor whose best friend was Roger Dawson...they grew up together...Roger saved Jake from being run down by a car (which left Roger with a limp)...but freshman year changed their friendship...Jake hung out with the cool kids...while Roger was left out and alone...Roger shot himself in front of everyone in school during his senior year...and that started a change in Jake...who eventually found God in his life...

I thought it was a very good movie...of course i cried as usual...i always enjoy watching how God transforms people to become His vessels to be used for His glory...there was a line that Jake said in the movie: I don't want to be just some Christian...and his youth pastor replied: Good, i don't want you to be just some Christian...that line left quite an imprint...i too, don't want to be just some Christian...but i'm so afraid that if i say that to God, i'll have to go through so much pain in order to not be just come Christian...and God knows how much i fear pain...i know i can't go through my pains alone, Lord...but with You carrying me through, i know it'll be bearable...

My 30th Christmas...in Singapore...Blessed Adventure...

I decided to go down to Singapore for my 30th Christmas...i didn't want to stay in KB coz i feared it would be too depressing...i didn't feel like going back to KL coz well, i just didn't feel like it...so i thought i'd take the train down to Singapore for the Christmas weekend...remind me never again to take the seat coach on a night train...not exactly the most pleasant experience...

My journey to Singapore is quite one of faith...i didn't have a single Singapore cent with me when i came out from the Woodlands checkpoint on Friday morning...but God found me a money-changer opposite the bus stop...and i changed rm100 into sgd40.70...planned to use my debit card when shopping...found my way to Suntec City just in time to meet up with my aunt for lunch...left my luggage with my aunt for her to bring back to her place coz i was meeting up with Yin Yee after her work...we were going to her church's Christmas celebration...

It was quite an adventure trying to find my way to Yin Yee's workplace at Marina Bay Financial Centre...but i loved the idea of walking along underground malls...met some new friends at her church...one was an Iranian guy...and i found out that Iranians celebrate Winter Solstice by eating all night long...how cool is that huh? church was at NUS...so i found my way back to aunt's place at Toa Payoh North...thanks to my new friends...

Christmas eve lunch with aunt at Kallang...pork rib prawn mee...interesting mix...then i met up with Sherine and Yin Yee at Suntec City...Sherine, MeiLing and i were going for City Harvest's Christmas service at 2pm...Yin Yee went painting with Kathy and John...the Christmas service was pretty amazing...it was at one of the convention halls...and the musical they put up was almost professional...it did feel a little commercialized...

Met up with Kian Ming and his girlfriend at Bishan interchange for dinner...i really love the idea of underground malls at MRT stations...at least you can go shopping if your friends were running late...it was good to have caught up with Kian Ming...initially thought of checking out Orchard...but after considering the crowd that might be, we decided against it...so yea, my Christmas eve didn't turn out the way i imagined it would be...didn't bump into any good-looking guy under the mistletoe...i got back to aunt's place about 11pm...spent some time reading the Bible...replied Christmas messages...then went to bed...

So Christmas morning i was supposed to meet Yin Yee at Katong Shopping Centre at 945am coz we were going to the Cornerstone church Christmas service...so i took the MRT from Braddell station to Dhoby Ghaut and caught the no. 10 bus to Katong...arrived at about 10am...then i saw Yin Yee's message...saying: hey, where are you? i'm at city hall mrt.......i was like, hmmm, what's going on? tried calling her, couldn't get through...good thing the messages could go through...so i took the no. 14 bus from the opposite side of the road back to city hall...reached there about 1030am...

Apparently, of all the messages that Yin Yee and i exchanged the night before, the most important one that informed about the change of venue did not get through to me...hence the Christmas morning adventure...but it's amazing how God came through all this...and what's more amazing was that during the altar call, when the pastor asked if anyone has never invited Jesus into his/her heart and experienced the joy of Christmas, my new Iranian friend raised his hand...and he went to the front and said the sinner's prayer...i'm not sure if he really knew what he was doing...but for me, it was a miracle i needed to see...

After lunch, Yin Yee and i went to Tanglin Mall...i was at That CD Shop in City Hall and they didn't have Corrinne May's older albums but the girl in the shop checked that Tanglin Mall had them...along the way, saw this guy sitting by the roadside in front of a stretch of Tudorean shophouses...he was drawing the buildings...very very nice...anyway, they only had Corrinne May's 'Beautiful Seed' in Tanglin Mall...apparently even that branch ran out of her 'Save in a Crazy World' album...so sad...but still glad that i got her 'Beautiful Seed'...

We went to meet up with Jessie and Sherine at Katong112...then went to one of their church member's place at the east...nice apartment...i think i like the east side of Singapore...feels more homely and less crowded...we shared and prayed and i felt really glad...Yin Yee has grown so much in her walk with the Lord since i first met her in Camp Cameron...we had late dinner somewhere along Katong...first time trying 'mee pok'...quite nice...then Yin Yee accompanied me back to Dhoby Ghaut MRT...by then my EZlink card was low on cash and i only have sgd2 left in my wallet...thank God for Yin Yee who helped me to top up the card...really grateful...

Was supposed to take the 9am bus from Golden Mile Plaza back to KL on Boxing Day...aunt and i only left her place at 810am...and she didn't say anything about we were going to be late...and we were taking the MRT...but by 855am, it became apparent we weren't going to make it in time for the bus coz we were still 5 stations behind...aunt tried to get the bus ppl to wait for us but the guy said they'll wait at most 10 minutes..so we hopped off at Paya Lebar station and caught a cab...but we still couldn't make it in time...so we asked the cabbie to send us to Tuas checkpoint to catch the bus...thank God we made it there before the bus...aunt said if she had a heart condition she might have had a heart attack...so much drama...i told her, with me, life's always exciting and adventurous...hahahaha...really felt bad to drag aunt into my adventures...the cab cost sgd 20 over...almost the price of my bus ticket...

So yea, that was my 30th Christmas...no, i didn't crowd with the people in Orchard on Christmas eve...i didn't even make it to Marina Bay Sands...but it was a Christmas filled with blessings and miracles i needed to help me remember how much God loves me...coz i'll definitely need to remember these come the New Year...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Christmas Night...revisited...

So tonight was the campus Christmas Night...after 5 years, once again i'm part of Christmas Night...i don't usually miss things or even people...there's definitely nothing to miss in Kelantan, except Christmas Night and church...but i guess i didn't realize how much i missed them till i came back here...so after 5 years of missing the exhiliration of choir-singing, i've finally tasted it again tonight...praise the Lord!!! I missed dancing too...

The Christmas Night was great...we didn't perform like professionals...but everyone gave their best... and Dr Tee was right...i was worried we would sound real bad on stage based on our practice sessions....but he said, don't worry, you would sound better on the day itself...and we did sound better...it's really encouraging to see young(er) people coming together to give glory to God...

I'm still wide-eyed from the adrenaline rush...hence am typing this post despite it being closed to midnight now...how is it that i love the adrenaline rush of performing on stage (not solo though) but hate giving presentations? oh, i guess coz most of the time i perform in a group...i just hate being in the limelight (alone)...and get bombarded with questions i don't know how to answer...

Can't wait for tomorrow night...i'll be up on board on a train down to Singapore...yes, i'll be celebrating my 30th Christmas in Singapore...i just hope i can sleep in the train coz i bought the seat ticket coz they ran our of berth tickets...

Here's the lyrics to one of the song we sang tonight...just thought i'd share the Christmas spirit:

Christmas isn't Christmas, till it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts
So give your heart to Jesus, you'll discover when you do
That is Christmas, really Christmas for you

Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire, a light like a candle glow
He's waiting now to come inside as He did so long ago
Jesus brings gift of truth and life, and makes them bloom and grow
So welcome Him with a song of joy, and when He comes you'll know.....

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Christmas Night Choir...and Christmas blessings...

Christmas season is here again...and this is my last month of good life before descending again into hell...the thing about human is, if you've never tasted the good things in life, you won't miss them coz you never knew what you were missing...but once you have, and you know you need to go back to a horrible life, oh, the agony...the despair...it's just too much to bear...

Anyway, we shall leave the lamentations for new year's eve...i'm going to be excited for Christmas...so i joined the the campus Christmas Night choir...just for old times sake...i missed singing in the choir...i missed dancing too...but i thought i'd only have time for one commitment...so choir would be easier... going for choir practice tonight...forgot how fun it was to be in a choir...

Was out for lunch with Karen earlier...she had some complimentary vouchers from Angie for free lunch for 2 at Renaissance Hotel...so she invited me along...so nice...and last night, i was out with a friend who lives in KB...although i've been here for the last 6 months, we've never got to meet up...finally met up yesterday for dinner...and he bought me dinner...i think God's giving me as much blessings as i can receive now to prepare me for my post-new year descent into hell...so that at least when i'm in my sufferings, hopefully i'll remember some of the good things God has given me...you know how humans are...when they're in a pit, it's so easy to think they've always been left in a pit and forget all the blessings they've received....

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Hehe, i joined a contest...

2 days back, i saw a post that my elder sister put up on her FB page...it was a contest by Urban Essentials to win 6 months free facial...for the lack of excitement in my life, i thought i'd just join it...so i submitted a photo from my makeover 2 years ago...i don't think my looks have changed much from 2 years back...but then again, 6 months into my masters programme, i've probably aged 5 years...hahahaha...so yea, i do need good facial treatments to rejuvenate my skin...

Didn't think my photo would be chosen...but maybe there weren't many photos submitted so mine was chosen to be one of the 9 contestants...so now all i need is to get people to vote for my photo...coz the most voted photo will be the winner...

Anyway, here's the link to the contest page....

Contestants- Urbanite Photo Contest

Mine is the 6th photo...feel free to have a look and click 'like' on my photo...but for your vote to count, you'll need to go to the Urban Essentials main page and 'like' the page as well...thank you...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

My camp buddy was involved in an accident...

If i could paint November, it would have been a mixture of happy colours stained with huge black spots...i found out about the death of 2 friends within a week apart...i didn't think i could bear hearing about another friend's death...but December has started with another bad news...today i found out that my camp buddy Fadz was involved in a car accident on Sunday...he was driving alone when his car collided with another car which carried a family of 5...Fadz escaped the Grim Reaper's grip but not so the driver of the other car...

I don't know what exactly happened...and i actually messaged Fadz on Monday to asked him out for lunch oblivious to the fact that he was probably in a lot of pain in the hospital...and i was a bit crossed that he didn't reply me...horrible me...but i really thank the Lord that Fadz is still alive...i know, i'm a self-centred person...i want my friends around me...that's why i don't think i can bear it if Fadz didn't make it out of the accident alive...

I feel sad that the driver of the other car is no longer around...may he/she rest in peace...and may God bring comfort and healing to his/her family...and i'm sure Fadz is very traumatized by the whole thing...the regret of causing the death of another human...although the accident may not have been his fault...but i'm really grateful that God protected Fadz....may He grant him peace and healing as he rests at his home...may God speeds his recovery....and hopefully Fadz doesn't get into too much trouble with the legal issues...

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

那些年, 我们一起追的女孩。。。

昨晚我和他一起去看戏。。。本来是约了一起吃午餐, 但他工作忙所以就变成晚餐约会。。。然后他打电话来说他需要开会所以晚餐就迟点吃。。。因为我很想看 ‘那些年, 我们一起追的女孩’, 所以就约他吃饭后去看那部电影。。。我上网买了两张午夜场票。。。

他十点多来接我。。。然后去吃牛肉面。。。两个人吃一碗面, 应该是很幸福。。。但我知道他一点感觉都没有。。。吃饱了, 我们就去戏院。。。他问我,其实我们是看哪一部戏。。。因为连海报一张都没看到。。。原来我‘骗’了他陪我看华文戏。。。他平时不会看这种戏的。。。这部电影, 真的又搞笑又浪漫。。。

在戏里面, 男主角结果没和女主角在一起。。。最后女主角嫁了另一个男人。。。不过总算他们俩有喜欢过对方。。。女主角婚礼那天, 男主角和一般久同学去参加婚礼。。。男主角以为他看见他爱过的女孩嫁给别人, 他会吃醋和难过。。。原来他错了。。。看见他喜欢过的女孩很幸福, 他也感到很快乐。。。很祝福她。。。


所以,若有一天他娶了别的女人, 我也应该很开心。。。为他觉得幸福。。。在故事里, 地震后, 男主角打电话给女主角。。。问她是否平安没事。。。聊了一整晚。。。他问她, 如果有平行时空, 他们是否会在一起。。。她说, 他们一定很幸福。。。也许在另一个平行时空, 我和他会在一起。。。白头谐老。。。真可惜, 我只能感觉到我的存在在这个现实。。。而在这个现实,我们不会在一起。。。是否有点狼狈吗? well, this is life, i guess...

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

夏日乐悠悠。。。

我在越南上几天,用了我的 ipad2下载几部戏。。。因为太喜欢林俊杰唱的 love you you, 也是夏日乐悠悠的主题曲,所以就决定要看这部电影。。。总共看了两次却觉得还想看多几次。。。呵呵。。。故事确实太浪漫。。。而且地点太适合了。。。海边和海洋在不变的夏季。。。剧情太感人了。。。女主角好漂亮。。。男主角太痴情了。。。又体贴。。。虽然我不觉得他很帅。。。而且开始他外表看起来很像个骗子。。。慢慢女主角才发现其实男主角是个好人。。。而爱上他。。。原来男主角已经一见钟情。。。

想分享主题曲的MV和歌词。。。

林俊傑 - Love You You MV (夏日樂悠悠 主題曲)


love u u
我像孤獨的漁夫
說不出 愛的溫度
很想給你幸福
你卻自我保護
轉彎處 只剩下潮汐之外的荒蕪

love u u
卻在海裡迷了路
找不出 心的歸屬
思念越嘗越苦 心跳亂了腳步
怎麼我 讀不懂你唇語之間的無助

就算用盡所有真心 卻到不了你的心底
回憶難以靠近 你是我奢求的唯一
讓我用盡所有力氣 只要你相信
我最堅持的聲音 只剩一句love u u
Stay with me

能不能別這樣放棄
能不能就放開自己
海浪穿透我的傷心
請聽一聽愛的聲音

就算用盡所有真心 卻到不了你的心底
回憶難以靠近 你是我奢求的唯一
讓我用盡所有力氣 只要你相信
我最堅持的聲音 只剩一句love u u
Stay with me

这种感觉我很享受...

昨晚我刚从越南回来。。。一到家我就sms几个朋友。。。看他们有空见面么。。。女的就说她太忙了,没时间约我。。。男的回复就让我意外。。。我正在洗澡他已经打电话来约我。。。因为我没接电话所以他留个sms。。。洗澡后,他过来我家,我们就出去了。。。

他说他最近压力很大。。。工作方面不太顺利。。。他欠银行很多顺用卡费。。。他问我是否有想过要放弃我所有的一切然后从新开始。。。我说, 我有想像过。。。但我想不到我能做什么其他东西来养生活。。。我觉得他一定很辛苦。。。我很想和他一起负担。。。却知道我什么都帮不到他。。。感觉好无助。。。只能陪着他。。。就像在‘夏日乐悠悠’里 乐乐记在日记: 看着你伤心,我陪着你伤心。。。看着你哭, 我陪着你哭。。。虽然他不会哭。。。

我们去一件酒店的酒吧。。。一边聊天, 一边陪他工作, 一边喝红酒和鸡尾酒。。。希望他这样能够放松自己。。。他看见我累了, 他让我靠在他肩膀。。。靠在他肩膀, 感觉很安全。。。也许是我太久没肩膀来靠。。。或许是酒后的影响。。。但这种感觉我很享受。。。虽然我很清楚我们俩的关系只是好朋友。。。他暗示了太明显我不是他所要的女人。。。其实那么多年了,而我已经分不情, 他是友情还是错过的爱情。。。

虽然我觉得可惜不是他陪我到最后, 但我还是很幸福有他当我的知己。。。如果他幸福快乐, 我就幸福快乐。。。如果他伤心, 我就陪他伤心。。。但我在想,如果有一天他遇见他心爱的女人而结婚了,我是否会伤心难过。。。希望不会。。。因为已经来不及遗憾了。。。

Monday, November 21, 2011

34...

Today was a busy day...whole day in OT...last case only finished at 630pm and boss asked to do the postponed LA case under emergency...so after finishing the case and settling the post op patients, i finally got to go home by 10pm plus...it was raining the whole day...and i only managed to have my dinner at 1030pm...while having my dinner, i suddenly received a message from Billy...it read: Our beloved friend TKP passed away this morning. MI....The grim reaper sure pulled a 'stunner'...i still can't believe it...KP just celebrated his 34th birthday 2 days ago...the last time i saw him was before he graduated from uni...but i always remembered him as one of the nicest senior i've ever known...

KP was a super nice guy...and he was as skinny as a pole...and he played tennis...how could he have died of an MI? It just sounds so ridiculous...why do good people die young? he has a very young son...KP, i hope you had a good birthday...may God bless your soul and may you rest in peace...may God bring comfort and healing to your family as they grieve for you...

KP's death reminded me of Jesus...He died on the cross at the age of 33...just a year younger...i mourn for KP's passing and cried out at how unfair that his life should be taken from him at such a young age...but i've taken for granted Jesus' death on the cross...i've always accepted that Jesus had to die on the cross to atone for my sins yet i've taken the precious life He has given me for granted...as if i deserved it...Lord, help me to never take Your sacrifice for granted...may i live this life as You will it...so that when it's my turn to pass from this earth, i will see You face to face, Lord...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Return to CF...and a dysmenorrhoea-induced vasovagal attack...

I went to the USM’s CF yesterday…after a long long long time…since I left USM and started working in Sabah, I’ve never visited KB again till I came back here for Masters…and I’ve been wanting to check out the CF for the last 5 months plus...of course the first 4 months were quite impossible coz I was in HUSM…then I started my rotation in HKB and I’ve been meaning to go but somehow everytime Wednesdays 730pm come I’ll forget that I was supposed to go to CF…so yesterday I reminded myself the whole day that I had a date with God that evening…

And horrible me actually didn’t feel like going when the time has almost arrived…but I went anyway…and I’m glad I did…the CF is held at the Murni hall now…and we just sat on the floor on mats…we had praise and worship session like old times…and most of the songs we used to sing back then…and being in the Murni hall…brought back so much nostalgia…I was so moved during the worship session that tears were free-flowing…after all these years, I’m back where it all started…the place where I really found God…and how our hide-and-seek relationship really started…one where I kept hiding and He kept seeking and have always found me and brought me back to Him…

It’s been 5 years since I graduated…and I’ve stray away from Him uncountable times…just like Israel…and yet He has always brought me back to Him…and I’m just so amazed at how far He has brought me through…just like the line from the song “Through It All” that goes: “You’ll never let me go, through it all”…then we had a speaker from FES who gave us guides for bible study…sitting on the floor for almost an hour gave me such a butt ache and back ache that I realized I’m no longer as young as I used to be…

So I woke up this morning feeling a lot better…I’ve been down with a flu since Monday…went to work ready for my 4 consecutive calls in a row…we had clinic in the morning…my boss admitted 2 patients…one for I & D, another for T & S…was planning to do them after lunch…and thank God the flap case was postponed…coz then it would have been a longer day for me…anyway, just about half an hour before clinic ended, I had a bad attack of menstrual cramps…today was my 4th day of menses…it has been happening on and off lately but the pain usually is self-resolving after about 10-15 minutes…

But after clinic, the pain was still there and seemed to be worsening…I thought I’d take a quick drive to get lunch and come back to the hospital to continue my work…walking to the car park was a challenge…but I managed…then halfway driving to Chinatown, I felt a vasovagal attack coming…I guess the severe dysmenorrhoea must have induced the vasovagal attack…and I have had history of vasovagal attacks during recovery from flu…short of total blackout, I had all the symptoms of turning cold and clammy, lips as pale as sheet, nauseous, hands trembling with tingling sensation, upper and lower limbs turning into jelly…I was praying that I would make it to some roadside where I could park before I totally blackout and crash into something….

Thank God I managed to find somewhere to park by the roadside…I thought resting a while until the wave has passed would help…but the pain and all the symptoms only got worse…the pain was so bad that I felt like defecating…so I had to go to a budget hotel which was just opposite the road where I parked to use the toilet…I was in the toilet for a good while…of course with defecation the pain was still there…so in the end I had to ask for help from the hotel people to send me back to the hospital…I didn’t think I could drive back there on my own without risking an accident which would only made matters worse…

So the nice couple drove me to the hospital…dropped me at the casualty, went to park my car and returned my car keys…I wanted to offer them cab money since they drove my car but the guy said he’ll get his friends to pick them up…really thank God for kind strangers…so I went into the triage, telling the staff there that I was a doctor who works in the hospital and I’m sick…they didn’t even bother to take my blood pressure at the triage…they sent me to the yellow zone and left me there to die…ok, so I’m being dramatic…I’m sure no one ever dies of pain-induced vasovagal attack…but from previous history, whenever I had vasovagal attacks, my blood pressure drops to as low as 60/30mmHg…and I need IV drips to go in fast to bring my BP back to normal…

Of course since they left me lying there for so long, by the time I called a student nurse to check my BP, it was 100/62 mmHg…I supposed my body has compensated…but the pain was still unbearable…I think I can imagine 1/10th of a contraction pain now…and I’m definitely going for epidural childbirth…my menstrual cramps lasted probably an hour plus and I really thought I would die…while in pain, I called Kean Khang to see if he was in the hospital…coz I didn’t know how long more till the casualty MO would come to help me…and I needed pain relief real bad…thank God he was PM shift and he was free…

By the time he came to casualty, the casualty MO had just attended to me…so I told her I need drips and pain killers…and I’ll be fine…so Kean Khang tried to set an IV line on my right hand but failed…thank God the nursing coordinator managed to set a line on my left hand…coz all my veins were constricted and collapsed…usually, my veins are very prominent…then Kean Khang smuggled a dose of dynastat from OT for me…after that, my pain was gone and so were the other symptoms…of course the 2 pints drip helped too…in the end, I had to ask my colleague to take my call today…I really felt drained after the ordeal…I think I need to rest today so I can continue to be on call the next 3 days…very kind of my colleague to agree to help…

I felt really alone in my pain earlier…I cried out to the Lord to take the pain away but the pain only became worse…at that time I really wished I had someone beside me to hold my hand and tell me that everything was going to be alright…but I don’t have that someone…and I couldn’t hear God telling me that…but I was very grateful for Kean Khang…his presence made me felt less alone…and I felt that I still have friends who will come to my rescue when I need help…God bless him…and the kind couple who helped send me to the hospital…

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Perfect Match...

I haven't been a regular couch potato since my undergraduate years...yes, i've been too busy being a nerd...don't plan to evolve into one now...just that i have been watching some tv lately...while i'm working out on my elliptical trainer...i usually time my workout to start at 6pm to coincide with the weekdays 6pm chinese series...so that i'll be distracted from feeling tired while working out...but i only workout about 2-3 times a week...so i'm hardly following the series...

Since it was saturday yesterday and i had time to workout, so i turned on the TV at 6pm and NTV7 was showing this China dating game show called
非诚勿扰...or the English title given was Perfect Match...apparently this is their 2nd season...and the show was based on the Australia game show Taken Out...haven't heard of that one either...i've seen the Chinese version once or twice during my workout...but since my Chinese is only elementary, i didn't know how the game show worked initially...or maybe it was the hypoxia-induced brain fuddle...

Anyway, i finally got the idea of the show yesterday...so there will always be 24 single women (divorced and widowed females included) standing at each allocated podium...not sure how these females get selected though...and there will be 1 male contestant who is introduced at each time...initially the guy will choose a girl whom he would like to date (this is unknown to the girls, only known to the audience)...then the 24 girls will indicate if they like the guy (by leaving the light on) or not (by turning off the light on her podium)...then a few video clips of the particular guy will be showed...and one by one you can see the lights turning off...apparently somethings just turn most girls off...

The show's quite entertaining because of the host and the judges...and some of the male contestants really need to brush up on what to highlight about themselves...during yesterday's show...all the lights were turned off on a few male contestants...which i thought was quite sad...one was probably becoz he was obese...another probably because he was too weepy on stage...although it was quite touching that he revealed that he went on the show only for one of the female contestant...who actually turned the light off on him because she said he didn't appear to be able to give her enough sense of security...and then another guy was quickly eliminated because he revealed that he didn't want to have kids...then there was this young kid of 25 who initially chose a different girl but in the end only the light of another girl on still on for him...but he decided to take the chance to go out with the girl..and get this, they get to go to Hawaii for a holiday...just the 2 of them (now i wouldn't mind the Hawaii holiday)....and the last male contestant also chose another girl but in the end only one light of another girl was still lit...and this girl actually looked really beautiful (i would say more beautiful than the one the guy chose)...but she had been married before...so i guess that wasn't exactly what the guy was looking for...the male judge was actually good at catching the guy's cue...so the male judge asked the girl if she thought the guy was interested in her...coz the guy was evading her question when she asked if he minded she was married before...so eventually the girl turned off her light and the guy left without a partner...

I guess that's how life is huh? you choose ppl, ppl choose you...you don't always get your choice...and you don't always get chosen by the person whom you wish would choose you...there was a 38 year-old lady contestant among the 24 ladies...of course she was beautifully made-up that she hardly looked 30...i do hope she eventually gets a date on the show and it may blossom into something better...personally, i don't think i'd do well in game shows like these...thus far, i don't think i would want to date any of the guys i've seen on the show...which would probably be fine with the male contestants anyway coz i would probably be the least chosen one among the female contestants...hahahaha....i guess my ex-big boss' advice was very wise...he told me, the older i get, the harder i'll be able to find a guy to my liking...coz i've become more fixed in my ways and opinions and i know more of what i don't want in a guy...which is a lot of things...but let's not elaborate on that...

Anyway, i'm on call today...hopefully it will be a quiet call...need to hit the books...urgh!

Friday, November 11, 2011

A Disturbing Dream....

I woke up feeling quite horrified and disturbed (a term most often used by my friend Sharon, which seems to have caught on among our friends as well) this morning...i was actually quite glad that i was awakened by my colleague's message to ask for handover (although it was 45 minutes earlier than my set alarm)...or else i wouldn't know what further disturbing course my dream would have taken...i haven't been having dreams for some time now...and i had problem falling asleep again last night so my dream totally caught be off guard...guess i managed to get into some REM sleep after all...

I actually feel quite disturbed typing this post coz my dream contents still make me feel squirmish when i think about them...the setting for the dream is quite a haze to me but it felt like i was on a cruise ship...a huge one with lifts...and then there was this guy (who's almost a decade younger than i am...yes, i can hear horrifying gasps) who was in the same cruise...we happened to go into the same lift (for some reason we were heading for the basement)...and something happened in the lift, which was caught on the cctv....

Apparently we were both a little drunk and i somehow went over to seduce him and we ended up making out in the lift...and the whole incident was exposed coz the recording of the cctv were widely distributed on the ship...but apparently the cctv could only see the guy but not me (coz my back was facing the cctv)...and it became such a scandal on the cruise that the guy actually had to make a public apology...while i was spared the public humiliation as no one could identify who the girl was...

Then the guy confronted me..get this...of all place, in the shower (imagine those public showers in swimming pools with rows of shower cubicles)...i was only in my towel when he barged in and started throwing accusations at me...asking me why i seduced him and caused him to commit such a shameful mistake...he said all he wanted to do was to go down to the basement to study (i know, this is how weird my dreams can get)...and i said i don't remember doing anything to seduce you coz i was drunk (i think i've only been drunk once and i didn't do anything stupid like that)...i think there was supposed to be more arguments to follow but thank God the message from my colleague woke me up...

I don't know what this dream meant and i don't wish to even try to understand or interpret it...in case it actually reveals that my subconscious mind is getting too desperate that it's turning into a cradle-snatcher...or what's that new term used again? cougar or something? yup, i think i'll just laugh it off as a practical joke my subconscious mind is playing on me...well, at least now i know that i'm capable of dreaming up a scandal...hahahahaha....

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

On call 3 days in a row...

I really shouldn't be complaining about my work life in HKB...coz i really have so much more time for myself compared to my work life few months back...and there have been days when my calls were 'call-less' last month...but since November started, my lucky streak has worn off...i'm only half way through my 10 calls and i'm able to claim most of my passive calls for 'more than 4 hours of work after office hours'...i think God knows i need more money lately, so He's giving me the opportunity to earn more during my calls...but i still want to have my beauty sleep, Lord...

Yesterday i started my 1st of 3 stretch of continuous calls...not a good start...they just kept referring cases...and the last one was this idiot who was riding a motorcycle without helmet (coz it's jalan kampung) and banged God-knows-what and fell over...again, i must wonder why are there so many ppl in the world who were born without protective reflexes...one would think that when a person is about to fall, his/her limbs would be outstretched to break the fall and thus be of worse condition than one's face...but since i became a plastic surgery MO, i've seen so many idiots with horrifying facial laceration (only) but their limbs were unscathed...some don't even have a bloody scratch on the upper limbs...as if God made the face to stop a fall...

Got the call at 2am...and was in casualty till 4am...bugger....was only able to suture part of his wound coz it was at the left lateral canthus and it was bloody deep and wide...to suture it anyway would leave him with a squinted eye...not that i care if he ended up having eye asymmetry...he was asking for it anyway...but i wouldn't want my boss to think that i do not value cosmetic and aesthetic results...not that putting a full-thickness skin graft on his wound would restore proper facial contour but at least his eyes will still be symmetry....

So i'm keeping my fingers crossed that tonight will be a quiet night...since tomorrow i'm still on call...Lord, i'm looking forward to Friday...i'm dipping into mild depression...so i'm having my dose of caramel hot chocolate to lift my mood and hopefully aid in my falling asleep....yes, despite being tired (and able to fall asleep anywhere at any circumstances during the day), i still have problem falling asleep at night in my bed...

Friday, November 4, 2011

好朋友只是朋友

听过这首歌好几次了。。。第一次听到就对这首歌很有熟悉感。。。也让我眼泪想流下来了。。。不可能是唱出我感情的重点吧? 难道我还是带着希望吗? 歌词都说了: 好朋友只是朋友 不能够占有。。。朋友再好也不能牵手。。。想跟你们分享歌词和MV。。。

《好朋友只是朋友》 - 郁可唯


聽你說什麽我都很快樂
接近你連影子都微笑著
幾千隻紙鶴你都耐心地陪著我折
卻怎麽都折不掉那道無形的隔閡
越懂你陪著你就越寂寞
靈魂那麽美我卻碰不得
感覺再熾熱也不能讓飛蛾去撲火
靠近你的夢難道就能不失落
好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友
不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後
就一個人走 無所求
好朋友只是朋友
只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭
不打擾你的自由

認識你也許我就足夠了
緣分的深淺我都不管了
可能你感動也看不見我心如刀割
哪怕很痛過 至少就不算錯過
好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友
不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後 就一個人走
無所求
好朋友只是朋友
只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭
不打擾你的自由

愛人不是最好的朋友
朋友再好也不能牽手
感情在天平兩頭 誰都怕太沈重
好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友
不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後 還是一個人走
無所求
好朋友只是朋友
只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭
不打擾你的自由

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Little Mermaid....

After googling and youtubing Love Never Dies, i found out that Sierra Boggess, the Christine Daee in Love Never Dies also performed in The Little Mermaid musical (in Broadway) as Princess Ariel...i love The Little Mermaid...it's one of my all time favourite Disney cartoon...i remember that i used to go to my best friend, Jess' house almost everyday to watch it...we even learn the song "Part of Your World" and sang it over and over (well, at least i sang it over and over)...

So i just had to watch The Little Mermaid musical...i found a Pre-broadway version which someone illegally recorded and put up on Youtube...i liked it...they had more songs...and the costumes were great...and most of the actors moved around in skate shoes..for the gliding effect...so fun!!! i love Sierra Boggess as Ariel...her voice is amazing...so needless to say i've been singing Part of Your World in the shower the past few days after i watched The Little Mermaid...though it didn't sound half of what Sierra's version did...hehe...here's a link to Sierra's version of Part of Your World...

The Little Mermaid on Broadway - Part of Your World

Last night my camp 'daughter' Yin Yee posted up a few links on FB...one was this song from Swan Princess called Far Longer Than Forever...brought back so much memories...i loved this song and the cartoon of course when it came out...i remembered going over to my neighbour's house to watch it...and we'll be singing along..."If i could break the spell, i would run to him today, but somehow i know he's on his way to me....Derick, you and i were meant to be...." and i thought that was the most romantic song ever....here's a link to the song...

Far Longer Than Forever - The Swan Princess

She also posted up Reflection from Mulan...i loved Mulan too...i guess i've always identified with characters which always feel out of place, constrained by society norm and are trying to find their place in the world...to be who they really are...i supposed that's why i love Ariel and Mulan...sigh...i missed watching DIsney cartoons...after listening to Reflection and watching the video clip of scenes from Mulan, my tears just came flowing down...made me miss my Pa...don't know if i've ever done anything that made him proud of me like Mulan did...but there won't be any more chance to even try...anyway, here's a link to the song...

Reflection - Mulan

To those who grew up with these cartoons, hope you had a good time reminiscing...

Saturday, October 29, 2011

England Part 2 - Day 8 (Fare thee well)

My last day in London...with a heavy heart i finished packing all my loots...We were meeting Siaw Lian for lunch at Chinatown before we go to Liverpool Street station to take my bus to Stanted...we ate at this restaurant called Four Seasons (incidentally there's a Four Seasons in KB too)...apparently they're famous for their duck dishes...and when in London, apparently one has to eat the duck dish in Chinatown to complete one's gourmet experience...so duck we ate...it was wonderful...and we also had eggplant and seafood tofu soup...the bill came up to 43.50 pounds...quite reasonable if you earn in pounds...

It was good meeting up with Siaw Lian again...actually, i haven't seen both Chiew Sinn and Siaw Lian since we graduated from uni 5 years ago...who would have thought we would have a small reunion in Chinatown London huh? and Siaw Lian was showing me pictures of when she went for some performance in Royal Albert Hall...now, wouldn't it be grand to have been able to watch the 25th anniversary of the Phantom of the Opera there? Alas! i was too late...that was a week before i came to London...i think...

After lunch we walked to Trafalgar Square where we were taking the bus to Liverpool Street Station...there was some event at the square...plenty of people...some rocker guy was performing on stage...found the bus stop and waited for the bus...said goodbye to Siaw Lian and Chiew Sinn and i boarded the bus when it came...Chiew Sinn accompanied me till where i was supposed to take the bus to Stanted...so we said our goodbyes...wondering when will we see each other next...

The bus took about an hour to reach Stanted...checked-in my luggage and headed for the departure...i was pretty surprised we didn't have to go through immigration again this time...a bit strange but i wasn't complaining...then checked out the duty free shop to see if i could manage to buy a bottle of absinthe for my bro...couldn't find it at the local Sainsbury...good thing i found a bottle...cost me 25.49 pounds (and my bro was complaining that the bottle looked to common)...then was waiting at the boarding gate...since there was no free wifi so i was reading Journey of Desire...

We boarded the plane a bit later than scheduled...i was hoping maybe the flight wouldn't be too full...unfortunately my seat was sandwiched between an American guy and a Latino looking guy...of course neither spoke to me or gave me a second glance...and i bloody forgot to take my air pillow out from my luggage bag before checking it in...thank God i had the thick windbreaker which i was wearing...used that as pillow...slept most of the flight...uncomfortably...only reached Malaysia the next day afternoon....

So that was my English holiday...i love holidays...who doesn't yea? but my friends do wonder why i love holidaying on my own...besides the fact that i don't have a ready partner to travel with me, i honestly do love travelling on my own...it's like my little adventure...my little glimpse of heaven...when you're on holidays...everything is beautiful...everything is possible (within your monetary means)...everything is awe-inspiring...but after reading Journey to Desire, i am afraid that i may be making holidays my addiction...but thus far, God has been with me throughout my travels...He has blessed me with so many wonderful experience...if He didn't want me to travel, i would have been checked-mate everytime i plan a holiday yea?

Well, looking forward to next month's trip to Vietnam...hehe...then it will be a long hiatus till God knows when...

England Part 2 - Day 7

I wished i have spent my last night in London watching another musical...it didn't happen of course...so i spent my day doing the tourist thing again...Chiew Sinn left her key card for me coz she was coming back late tonight...so i took my own sweet time getting out of bed and getting ready...first stop: The British Museum...loved the exterior architecture...the typical romanic (or is it grecian?) columns...entrance was free...and there were a lot of school kids running around, probably on their field trip...there were sections on ancient Assyria, Egypt, Greek, Roman and even Southeast Asia...and then there were sections on the modern Europe...i was very fascinated with the Assyrian sarcophagi, the Egyptian mummies and of course the Greek architecture...it kinda made up for not being able to go to Greece this September...

Stopped by at the Brunswick for lunch...there was a Coast shop there and everything in the shop is on sale...gosh, they have really lovely dresses in Coast...and some are quite expensive even by English standards...there were 2 one-shoulder dresses which i tried...one was tagged at 39 pounds and another 25 pounds...looked good in the more expensive one but 39 pounds were a bit off the budget for me...and i'd hardly have any occasion to wear it anyway...so next stop: Tower of London...

Took the tube from Russel Square station to Tower Hill station...walked about 10 minutes to the entrance of Tower of London...didn't enter though...walked to the Tower Bridge and took some photos...it did look quite impressive...and some Spanish girls asked me to help them take a photo with the Tower Bridge...it was the new Panasonic Lumix G...ahhh, my dream camera...then i hopped on the tube and went down to Westminster just to take a photo with Big Ben...

Next stop was Notting Hill Gate...i just felt like going to the place where Hugh Grant met and fell in love with Julia Roberts in 'Notting Hill'...and to think i've not actually watched the whole movie properly...shame...nothing much there except for the Portobello Market along the Portobello Road...while walking towards the market, i saw a shop which said, "everything for 5 pounds"...it was selling clothes...and bags and shoes...i was thinking, no...the shoes can't be 5 pounds...i asked the girl in the shop and she said yes, the shoes go for 5 pounds...saw this peep-toe ankle boots with heels which looked so good...didn't have it in my size so i decided to buy it for Pei...she loved it...though even for her it was a bit loose...

The market was closed/ closing by the time i reached the beginning of the road...but i decided to walk down the road anyhow...many antique shops...and it must have been a busy market fare during the day...i guess the English ppl are not familiar with the concept of night market...then again, it's too cold in the autumn to be walking about at a pasar malam with just your t-shirts and shorts...reached the end of the road and didn't feel like walking back to the initial underground station...went into this Spanish grocery store to asked for directions to the nearest underground station...the Spanish girl couldn't differentiate from left to right...no, she doesn't have left-right disorientation...it's just that her English had much room for improvement...but she showed me the way anyhow...

So i walked to Ladbroke Grove Station and took the tube back to King's Cross...walked a bit along the road and found a cafe selling fish and chips...apparently, when in London, you have to taste the fish and chips...so i did...and i must say i can get better fish and chips in KL...hehe...then i took the tube back to Manor House...i thought i'd reach back at the apartment before Chiew Sinn but the tube back to Manor House was delayed...so Chiew Sinn had to wait about 15 minutes for me...good thing there was a Chinese take out opposite the apartment which she went in to buy her dinner while waiting for me...

My last night in London...and i didn't spend it at some Ministry of Sound or some club partying all night long...i've always wondered how it would be like to party in a club which is not reeking with cigarette smoke...oh well, there are more things in life than wondering about that...

England Part 2 - Day 6 (Shopping spree at Oxford St)

So on Thursday i decided to have a shopping spree at Oxford St...since practically every shop is on sale...Chiew Sinn left earlier but i only got up about 930am...took a bus down to Angel and took the tube to Oxford Circus...Oxford Street must be one of the longest shopping street in the world...i spent some time in Debenham's since they were having their Blue Cross Sale...bought a white with black polka dot dress going for 12 pounds...and a green with while polka dot dress for 10 pounds...don't ask me what's the preoccupation with polka dots...i just happened to like the dresses and they are polka-dotted...

Had lunch at Subway...had a 3 pound 6-inch sandwich...dollar to dollar, eating in England is actually cheap...if only RM isn't so small...or better still, if only i'm earning in pounds...continued on with shopping at topshop...it was so crowded and everyone was grabbing at clothes as if they were for free...i didn't find much that i fancied and everything was pretty much in a mess...but i tried on a pair of shorts which was tagged at 7 pounds...and i thought it looked good on me...so i went to the cashier to pay...i was taking out my 10 pound note when the lady said, "3 pounds please"...i swallowed in amazement and took out a 5 pound note instead...i was thinking, "wah, means the other stuffs that are tagged at 10 or 15 pounds would be cheaper than that?" but i didn't want to risk it...hehe...

I was looking for the Primark at Oxford St and eventually found out that i had to go there from the Marble Arch station...so off i went...and i was amazed...pants, skirts, shirts retailing at 5 pounds...so i bought a pair of pants for 5 pounds, a shirt for 5 pounds, another pants for 10 pounds and a teddy suit for 4.50 pounds...the only minus point is that the queue for the changing room is just as long as the queue at the cashier...and they have almost 20 changing rooms...after that i went into this shop called Jane Norman and saw a long purple tie-dye dress going at 14.40 pounds...sold...also got a pair of white shorts for 10.50 pounds...

Met up with Chiew Sinn at King's Cross and went for dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant around there...there was a cute Portuguese server working there...anyway, we had some spicy Vietnamese noodles that tasted suspiciously like prawn mee...but the soup was pretty diluted...and the noodles were like laksa noodles...after dinner, we took the bus back to the apartment and i had to repack my bag to stuff in my loots...

England Part 2 - Day 5 (with Fantine & Elphaba)

I followed Chiew Sinn out in the morning...we took a bus to Angel of Islington...and changed another bus to go to King's Cross which is near her university...i continued on the bus till i reached near Chinatown... found my way to Leicester square where i continued my hunt for Les Miserable ticket...i noticed a few shops offering discounted ticket at Leicester Square the day before...so i randomly picked a shop and asked if they had discounted ticket for Les Miserable...and guess what? they did!!! it was a 65 pounds ticket which was going for 41.50 pounds...i thought that was quite a save...and the seat was a very very good seat (which i found out eventually although initially i was wary that the lady might be playing me on)...hunt over, i went on to do the touristy stuffs since i had about 3 hours to kill...

Chiew Sinn lent me her oyster card which i was using on a 'pay as you go' basis but which maximally deduct 6.60 pounds per day (as in the day pass)...so i thought, what the heck, just use the tube...took the tube to Waterloo station where the London Eye is just about 5 minutes walk away...didn't bother to go up the Eye...just took some photos...then walked along the Thame Banks...saw the Parliament house over the other side...saw the Westminster Bridge...and the real London Bridge...bought a toasted pita wrap and had my lunch by the riverside...novelty to me...but everyone's doing it in London...then it was time to find my way back to the Queen's Theatre to watch Les Miserable...

Thought i got lost for a while but managed to find my way back to the underground station and went back to Piccadilly Circus...then walked to Shaftebury Avenue...almost went into the wrong theatre...there was another theatre before Queen's...hehe...reached just in time to use the bathroom and find my seat...it was at the dress circle and right in the middle...the view was fantanstic...i'm not as familiar with Les Miserable as i am with the Phantom...only know the song sang by Fantine 'I dreamed a dream'...but a classic is always worth a watch...and i really enjoyed it...so many beautiful songs...and poignant moments...though i must comment on the way they made Javier jumped off the bridge...interestingly cheesy...with the slow-mo movements and all...but i guess that's theatre....

Post Le Mis, i contemplated between hanging out in Chinatown or walking towards Victoria...decided on walking my way to Victoria where i would be turning my younger sis green with envy coz i get to watch Wicked in London (oh well, she'll get to watch it in Singapore next Jan)...thank God for the google map saved in my ipad...so i could walk through the Buckingham Palace Gardens towards Victoria...met this chatty middle-aged English woman who exclaimed, "now that's a very smart thing" when she saw me navigating my way with the ipad...apparently she was heading towards Pimlico for a dinner function and she preferred to walk then taking the cab...she was definitely dressed for dinner...and she talked the whole way while i was frantically looking at the map hoping that i wasn't lost...finally i saw the Victoria underground station...and the Apollo Victoria Theatre was just opposite it...and i didn't realize this the day before when i was there...

Anyway, grabbed a burger at Burger King at the Victoria station before going to the theatre...it was quite packed..and the theatre was illuminated with green light...my seat was quite a good one...although it was at the stalls...it wasn't too near that i have to spend the whole night looking up at the stage but it was near enough to see the actors on stage...and i must say, Wicked is WICKED!!! i loved it!!! even if they changed part of the storyline and totally changed Fiyero's character (and robbed him off his blue diamond whole body tattoos and turned him into a scarecrow in the end)...but i just love the ending...i'm glad that the 'wicked' got their happy ending and the 'good' received their just reward...i love the scene when Elphaba was singing 'defying gravity'...i actually bought some Wicked paraphernalias (although they are damn expensive after conversion)...one of which was a 'defying gravity' t-shirt and an Elphaba necklace for Pei...i have a feeling Wicked will become the next classic...

After the show, i took the tube back to Manor House, which was the nearest tube station to Chiew Sinn's apartment...then took the 141 bus back to the apartment...had to call poor Chiew Sinn to brave the cold to open the gate for me...while waiting for her to come down, met a guy at the gate...he asked if i was waiting for my friend to open the door and if he/she was on the way down...i said yea...he told me he was visiting a sick friend (a she :(...) who's staying at the apartment as well...he asked me where i was from...i told him "Malaysia" and he had a blank look for a while...and i asked if he was from Austria...coz he was wearing a jacket which has Austria written on its sleeve...and he said "yea, good power of observation"....then Chiew Sinn arrived at the gate and let us in...and we stopped at 3rd floor while he continued up to 5th floor where his 'girlfriend' was staying...and that was the end of my cute Austrian guy encounter....

Quite an overwhelming day...really felt like watching more musicals...but Chiew Sinn was like, "Wei, you come to London to watch musicals only ah?"...honestly, that was the whole idea of my London trip...musicals and shopping...Mamma Mia was tempting...and then there was Crazy For You, a musical by Gershwin...i even saw a poster for The Marriage of Figaro...think that was ballet...gosh! London is theatre haven...not that i would love to live in London...too KL for my liking (in the sense of crowd and jam and air pollution)...but it would be nice living at the suburbs of London...the countryside even so that i can satisfy my theatre cravings...hehe....

England Part 2 - Day 4 (I have a date with Phantom)

Woke up about 7am Tuesday morning...had to follow Jie out when she sent Sylvia to school...then she dropped me off at TESCO where i was taking the bus to London...good thing Sylvia made it in time for school...and i still had time to grab a sandwich from TESCO before walking to the bus stop...the bus was late...it was scheduled at 925am but only came at almost 10am...saw 2 girls who were at church on Sunday...apparently they were going to London too...if only it was Takuya lookalike and his friend who were going to London too...then maybe it was meant to be...hahahaha...wishful thinking...

Slept in the bus till we almost reached London...took about 2 hours plus...and the bus ride cost only 5 pounds...it was bloody jammed in downtown London so we only reached the Victoria Coach Station at about 1230pm...then i went to the Victoria underground station (yes, lugging my huge luggage) to find my way to Her Majesty's Theatre...i had a date with the Phantom you see...at 230pm...bought a day pass and took the underground to Piccadilly Circus...then walked to Haymarket where Her Majesty's Theatre was...eagerly went to collect my ticket and then was quite at a lost at what to do before my date...so i ended up hunting for cheap ticket for Les Miserable...my 1st attempt failed miserably...

Went back to the theatre about 2pm...had to put my luggage in the cloakroom (and that cost me 1 pound)...then went to the toilet...and then went to take my seat at the royal circle...view wasn't too bad except that when they raised the chandelier up to the max i couldn't see it anymore...oh, but to be able to watch the Phantom of the Opera in West End...i actually cried at the opening when the old lantern was transformed and lit up and the stage was transformed into the Opera House (during its heyday)...it's like a dream come true...needless to say i was crying everytime the Phantom sang...such genius, such passion, such beautiful voice...yet marred by a disfigured face...

I envy the kids in London who get to watch musicals at West End on their field trips...there were plenty of school kids at the matinee show...i wished the show didn't have to end...i wished i could hear the Phantom sing on and on...but it had to end...and so it did...and we all had to leave...so i went to take my luggage and headed to Leicester Square underground station to get to King's Cross St Pancras station where i was meeting my friend Chiew Sinn...was bunking in with her while i'm in London...

We had to change two buses to get back to her room...living space in London is really costly...the apartment which she stays in consists of one unit of 4 rooms and a common kitchen...and she's paying 800 pounds per month for her room...which is quite small...practically all her scholarship money goes into room rent...but at least the place is new...and fully furnished...and warm...

Chiew Sinn cooked dinner for me...we had tomyam tanghun with portobello mushroom and celery...and fish fillet...at least groceries in London isn't so expensive...after all the adrenaline rush of watching the Phantom and lugging my luggage around whole day, i was ready for bed so that i would be fresh to continue my musical marathon the next day....didn't dream of the Phantom though...

Friday, October 28, 2011

England Part 1 - Day 3

Took the bus to Stratford-upon-Avon (the birthplace of Shakespeare) on Monday morning...passed by the Warwick Castle along the way...it looked so huge...wished i had time to visit it but i was already leaving for London the next day..seriously, Stratford's quite a small tourist town...so many shops selling Shakespearean souvenirs...and the town centre is only 2 to 3 roads combined...but i like the quaintness of it...saw the Shakespeare house...bought some souvenirs...and had lunch at a small cosy cafe which served scones with clotted cream and jam and a pot of tea...so nice and yummy...but the 2 big scones really stuffed me up...

Then Jeff and Jie came to pick me up in a Mercedes...Jeff sent his other car to fix coz some idiot ran into his car...so the workshop actually loaned him a Mercedes till the car is ready...how nice...they brought me to the University Hospital where Jeff is training and Jie works part time teaching anatomy...they have a cool anatomy lab and the guy who manages the lab was coming up with a 3D programme for their plastinated specimens...which i thought was quite cool...and definitely would be very helpful for my revision...if i can get a hand on that programme...

Also hung out at the library...they have all the plastic journals like BJPRS and JPRAS...so Jeff took some of them and took photos of me with the journals...he said i should show it to my bosses...that even on my holidays i still 'study'....hahahaha...like real...after that they dropped me off at Coventry town centre so that i could visit the bombed Coventry Cathedral...it was pretty amazing...just the shell of what must have been a massive cathedral...they built a new one just next to the old one...

Took a bus back to the University apartment...this time i knew my way back from the bus stop...my last night in Coventry...Jie cooked pasta for dinner...repacked my luggage and called an early night coz London is calling...hehe...

England Part 1 - Day 2

So i woke up on Sunday morning...to bathe and get ready for church....anyway, i've already detailed my chance encounter with the cute Jap-looking guy and the church service in my earlier post My 1st (and likely last) church service in England ...

After church i went to this place called Leamington Spa which was about 15 minutes bus ride from the University...Jie said there's more shopping to do there...and there's actually a spa there which the Queen has visited...they had an afternoon market along the main shopping road at Leamington Spa on Sunday...and i saw this stall that was selling pig roast...i vowed i would buy one to eat...after i finished shopping...saw a Whittard Chelsea shop at the beginning of the road and bought a few cans of hot chocolate and tea (a friend asked to buy some for her)...almost every shop was on sale...but didn't find much to my liking and those that caught my eyes were not that cheap (after being converted to RM)...ended up buying a blouse only...for 12 pounds...

Then i decided it was time for my pig roast...so bought a bread stuffed with stuffings and pig roast and sat at a bus stop and enjoyed my pig roast...but it had too much fat for my liking...so had to take out some of the fat part...after that went to look for the bus stop where i would take the no. 12 bus back to University...initially went to the wrong bus stop and almost got onto the wrong bus...then found the right bus stop but waited for almost an hour for the bus...i guess Malaysia isn't the only place where the buses are never on time...although in England they have schedules...

Finally got back to University and i didn't know which way to walk back to the apartment...hehe...so Jie sent Jeff to get me from the bus stop...they were at Sylvia's previous nursery...there was a birthday party for one of the kids...after the party, went back to the apartment to rest...nice and cosy...

England Part 1 - Day 0/1

So i thought i'd better post up my England trip before my degenerating neurons lose their retaining power...while i was in England i spent about 3 days in Coventry visiting my sister, her husband and their daughter...and then about another 5 days in London...too short an English holiday most will say, but i was desperate enough when i booked the tickets...and really thank God that He made it such a wonderful trip...everything went smoothly...and the timing was just right...

I boarded the AirAsia X flight to London Stanted at about 1500hrs on 14 October 2011 (Malaysian time)...suffered about 13 hours of being suspended in air while strapped to a seat which only allows 5 degrees of reclination...thank God for aisle seat...and toilet breaks...if not, might have developed massive DVT...and the food sucked...but at least i had a book to read and my new ipad to play music to me...

We landed at Stanted on time...2145hrs 14 October 2011 (English time)...and i thought the nightmare would have ended but no...had to suffer through another 2 hours of queueing up to get through immigration...i guess when it comes to immigration service, English efficiency leaves much to be desired...thank God Jeff came late to pick me up...so that by the time i managed to breathe in the cold English air (apparently it was 3 degrees celsius that night), it was almost 12am and he had only reached for about 15 minutes...and then we had to drive another 2 hours plus to get back to Coventry...stopped by at a rest place on the way back...well, apparently most of their rest stops are our equivalent of Sg Buloh/ Tapah rest stops...

We reached the apartment at about 2am plus...Sylvia was asleep...Jie was asleep too but got up and made sure i bathed and washed my hair before allowing me to sleep on her bed...i did sleep quite a bit on the flight, despite the discomfort...so i ended up sleeping at about 4am...but woke up at 9am plus..had yoghurt with huge strawberries, raspberries and blackberries for breakfast...then Jie and Sylvia brought me around the campus in the morning...then came back and had a picnic at the yard in front of the apartment with Sylvia's buddy, Luka and his parents...it felt so wonderful to be basking in the sun while the weather is cold...i wished i could do this everyday...

After lunch we went out walking around the campus again...this time they brought me to the Tocil Woods and Sylvia showed me 'The Land of Nothing'...it was an open landing with barren trees...and there was this place that i thought would be perfect for an English wedding...walking down the lush green aisle...how romantic...then we took a bus and headed for Kenilworth castle...Sylvia actually brought back her class teddy bear called Spencer and she was supposed to have a weekend adventure with Spencer...so obviously we brought Spencer bear along with us to explore the castle...we didn't get to go into the castle though coz everything closes at 5pm in England...Sylvia ended up playing at the playground at Abbeyfield...till it was almost dark...and the bus was late so we only got back to the apartment about 730pm...

We were supposed to meet up with some of Jeff's uni mates for steamboat dinner and karaoke at 7pm...celebrating some guy's birthday...by the time we reached the restaurant the party was in full swing...so attacked the buffet steamboat and picked our songs...managed to sing one or 2 Khalil's songs...we finished at about 10pm...then went home and i crashed...too tired to bathe...so i slept on the sofa...hehe...

Till I Hear You Sing....

I stumbled upon this song while browsing through my friend's blog yesterday...and i found out that this is one of the songs from "Love Never Dies"....the so-called sequel of the Phantom of the Opera...coz Andrew Lloyd Webber didn't want his new musical labelled as that...after hearing 'till i hear you sing', i just couldn't get it off my head...no wonder Pei is so ga-ga over Ramin Karimloo...this guy's voice is amazing...and he sounds so good singing it live...

Here's a link to his live version of "till i hear you sing"...tell me if it isn't amazing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKajSh084WY

And here are the lyrics to the song...gee, i can really listen to him sing all day...

The day starts, the day ends
Time crawls by
Night steals in, pacing the floor
The moments creep,
Yet I can’t bear to sleep
Till I hear you sing

And weeks pass, and months pass
Seasons fly
Still you don’t walk through my door
And in a haze
I count the silent days
Till I hear you sing once more.

And sometimes in darkness
I dream that you are there
But wake holding nothing but the cold night air

And years come, and years go
Time runs dry
Still I ache deep in my core
My broken soul
Can’t be alive or whole
Till I hear you sing once more

And music, your music
It teases at my ear
I turn and it fades away and you’re not here

Let hopes pass, let dreams pass
Let them die
Without you, what are they for?
I’ll always feel
No more than halfway real
Till I hear you sing once more

Gosh! the lyrics...and Ramin's rendition...so much longing...so much passion...it's almost ecstasy...but i can't help wondering how it would be if Gerard Butler was singing this song...after all said and done, Gerard Butler is still...and always will be...the best Phantom ever...to me that is...after googling "Love Never Dies" and read its synopsis, i can't help wonder why Christine chose Raoul in the first place...i would have chosen the Phantom...

Monday, October 24, 2011

Of dreams and desire....

So i'm back from England yesterday...and today i'm back in KB...and tomorrow i'm back to work...not sure if i would be jetlagged from English time coz apparently i wasn't in England long enough to recover from the initial jetlag...anyway, would write about London and my West End adventure in another post...felt a need to write down about this recurring dream theme i've been having...well, as far as i can remember (vaguely), it has occurred twice...

Don't really remember the details...just that in my dream, i was supposed to be meeting a person (i'm assuming it's a guy)...and i can remember the anxiety and anticipation and excitement about meeting this person...but somehow, one by one my friends would come along and tell me he's delayed by one thing or another...can't remember any of the reasons for delay but they just felt ridiculous...and in the end, i woke up...never meeting that person...dang, must be my biological clock ticking loudly into my subconscious mind...it would at least have been nice to actually catch a glimpse of the person i was supposed to meet (even if he had to be swiftly carried off by the stormclouds or something)....

Was reading a book over my English holiday...it's called The Journey of Desire, by John Eldredge...honestly, i'm not a fan of Christian books...but i daresay it was divine intervention that brought me to this book...a month back or so, i stumbled upon a comment left by a friend which mentioned that i reminded him of the sea turtle stranded in a barren desert in the story which was in the above-mentioned book (just for the record, i don't think i'm like the sea turtle coz i don't delude others into thinking that the sea doesn't exist...i'm more like the sea lion, who is always dreaming of the sea)...the comment must have been left there for a while but i never noticed it...so i decided to get the book and read it for myself...Suet Lai got it for me the last time she went back to KL...but she only gave it to me a day or 2 just before i left for my English holiday...

I thought that was a sign i should read it somehow...and i must say this is one Christian book that really spoke to my desire...i'm just so glad that there are Christians out there who believe that we should not kill our desire but embrace it...at every turn of a page or two, my tears will swell up and spill over...i don't think i've read a book that made me cry that much (apart from PS I Love You)...i wish i could read it everyday to remind me of how i should have the freedom of desire and how i should channel my desires to God...it is too easy to forget...when i was younger, it used to amaze me how Israel quickly forgets God everytime He delivered them from their afflictions...i wondered, how can they forget the miracles and amazing feats God did for them? i'm older now...and i realized how foolish my amazement has been...for i forget too...again and again i forget...just as Israel did...

How God must be looking down at this child of His and shakes His head...He'll say: I forget too...again and again i forget...all your iniquities and sins...as long as you come back to My Side and love Me with all your heart and soul and mind...Oh, such amazing love...Oh Lord, don't let me be ruled by my heart's desires but help me to surrender them to You each and everyday...don't let me forget You, Lord...

Monday, October 17, 2011

My 1st (and likely last) church service in England...

I landed on English soil on Friday night...on Stanted airport to be exact...Jeff came to pick me up...he drove for 2 hours plus from Coventry to pick me up...thank God he left late coz I was stuck in the immigration for almost 2 hrs...definitely nowhere near Changi's efficiency...we drove back another 2 hrs plus and by the time we arrived at University of Warwick, it's half past 2am...after bathing and settling down, it was about 4am...tired...

Woke up by 8am plus...Jie took me and Sylvia for a walk around the university...it was really nice...has it's own theatre/ cinema...the buses go through the university...huge areas of land...the day was very sunny and quite warm...so we had a picnic at the apartment courtyard...it was so fun to be sitting outside and soaking in the sun...we took a bus to Kenilworth to visit the Kenilworth castle...but only manage to see the outside...coz Sylvia was getting tired...dinner was at this chinese restaurant at Coventry town centre...it was one of Jeff's coursemate's birthday...we had steamboat and karaoke...who would have thought huh? Get to sing karaoke in England...haven't been karaoke-ing since May this year...how I missed having private concerts with Elaine...

This morning I went to church with 2 of the guys from last night...one was the birthday boy and the other was a Singaporean...they went to church at Westwood church...it was a quaint little church...and I mean the stereotypical church building complete with stained-glass and altar and pews...my 1st (and likely last) church service in England was great...felt quite at home during worship coz the songs weren't foreign to me...the speaker spoke about discipleship...was a good sermon...oh, while I was waiting for the guys to pick me up at the bus stop, I saw this cute Japanese-looking guy walking pass with his friend...he looked cuter than Takuya Kimura (I love him)...and then saw him at the church...dang! If only I were 10 years younger (coz Takuya lookalike is most likely 10 years younger), and was studying in University of Warwick...unfortunately that's not meant to be...sigh...God, You're always good to me...but I don't need teasers like that...I need the real deal, hehe...

Tomorrow planning to visit Stratford...the place of Shakespeare...maybe I'll meet my Mr Darcy there...hehe...

Friday, October 14, 2011

I'm off to see the Phantom, the Wicked Witch of the West and Fantine....

So i've crossed the line and entered the realm of impulsive traveller...this England trip was planned at a time when i was feeling too stressed out and i just booked the flight tickets without thinking if i would be able to take leave to go...but thank God that as i'm typing this post, i'm back home in KL and am just another 6 hours away from my flight to England....

I've also finally received my ipad 2 which i bought like 2 months ago...it's a long story and i shall not venture into it...but my new toy will be my source of entertainment as i suffer through 13 hours of airasia flight to England...

I'll be in Warwick over the weekend to visit my sister...then i'll be going to London for my musical marathon at West End....woohoo!!! I booked my tickets for the Phantom of the Opera and WIcked...which has created a rather huge hole in my bank account...hoping to get cheap tickets for Les Miserable when i get to London....then maybe that would leave me some money for yet another musical...hehe...

My sister said that a lot of shops are on sale now...i do plan to do some shopping while i'm there...retail therapy should be good for stress...hehe...i do hope i don't get a full-blown flu coz my nose is running like it is preparing for a marathon...being sick on your holiday is really a bummer...but that's not gonna stop me from enjoying my holiday...

Saturday, October 1, 2011

A good weekend...new beginning in October...from free flaps to free from flaps...

So October is finally here...my release is finally here...tomorrow onwards i will be working in HKB for 3 months...although i'll still be back in hellhole for another 6 months after my 3 months freedom, but i'm gonna savour every moment of my 3 months of 'from free flaps' to 'free from flaps'....i supposed how i'm feeling right now can be akin to a prisoner about to be released...except that for the prisoner, his release is for good...

Anyway, i had a good weekend...was post call on Friday...it was a good call despite having to do 2hourly flap monitoring...went home after my call to bathe...then went to pick up my friend...asked her to join our church service on Friday...it was a welcoming service for the undergrad 1st years...was a bit late...there were quite a few 1st years with us yesterday...Dr Tee gave a welcoming talk which felt very much like a lecture...hehe...then Dr Chew showed a slide show of photos of church activities gathered from since i was an undergrad...

One slide had photos of one of our church camp with me in the pics...Dr Chew asked me to go to the front to share my experience...i was quite amazed to see how i looked like back then...i wondered out loud "was i ever that young?"...even Suet Lai said i looked like some secondary school kid...and as i was sharing, one of the 1st year kid actually asked me how old i am...dang!!! can't exactly lie in church can i? so now everyone at church knows i've hit my big 3-0...oh, and one of my burn patient was there...this guy who burned his heel while he was at a sauna in Golok...hehe...

Had a good lunch after service...Hsiao Ling baked some yummy-licious chocolate cake...i think she knows i love and need chocolate...so every week she bakes some pastry/cake with chocolate...or cheese...God bless her...then i went for my facial appointment...it has been ages since i last went for facial...about time to pamper my face...actually, more like it's about time to salvage my face...in the hopes that i won't look 70 by the time i finished my suffering in hellhole...ended up spending rm271 for my facial and buying some products...also got mildly electrocuted during the facial massage...that's definitely the first time i experience such facial massage...

Came back and tried to study a bit but failed miserably...then went for dinner with Sharon & Suet Lai...had Thai food...woke up at 1130am this morning...and have failed studying the whole day...ended up browsing online clothes...saw some dresses that really piqued my desire...and they're quite cheap also...but trying to restrain myself...hehe...well, tomorrow i get to wake up a bit later than usual...better try to read a few more pages before i fall asleep on my physiology book...hehe...