So i'm back from England yesterday...and today i'm back in KB...and tomorrow i'm back to work...not sure if i would be jetlagged from English time coz apparently i wasn't in England long enough to recover from the initial jetlag...anyway, would write about London and my West End adventure in another post...felt a need to write down about this recurring dream theme i've been having...well, as far as i can remember (vaguely), it has occurred twice...
Don't really remember the details...just that in my dream, i was supposed to be meeting a person (i'm assuming it's a guy)...and i can remember the anxiety and anticipation and excitement about meeting this person...but somehow, one by one my friends would come along and tell me he's delayed by one thing or another...can't remember any of the reasons for delay but they just felt ridiculous...and in the end, i woke up...never meeting that person...dang, must be my biological clock ticking loudly into my subconscious mind...it would at least have been nice to actually catch a glimpse of the person i was supposed to meet (even if he had to be swiftly carried off by the stormclouds or something)....
Was reading a book over my English holiday...it's called The Journey of Desire, by John Eldredge...honestly, i'm not a fan of Christian books...but i daresay it was divine intervention that brought me to this book...a month back or so, i stumbled upon a comment left by a friend which mentioned that i reminded him of the sea turtle stranded in a barren desert in the story which was in the above-mentioned book (just for the record, i don't think i'm like the sea turtle coz i don't delude others into thinking that the sea doesn't exist...i'm more like the sea lion, who is always dreaming of the sea)...the comment must have been left there for a while but i never noticed it...so i decided to get the book and read it for myself...Suet Lai got it for me the last time she went back to KL...but she only gave it to me a day or 2 just before i left for my English holiday...
I thought that was a sign i should read it somehow...and i must say this is one Christian book that really spoke to my desire...i'm just so glad that there are Christians out there who believe that we should not kill our desire but embrace it...at every turn of a page or two, my tears will swell up and spill over...i don't think i've read a book that made me cry that much (apart from PS I Love You)...i wish i could read it everyday to remind me of how i should have the freedom of desire and how i should channel my desires to God...it is too easy to forget...when i was younger, it used to amaze me how Israel quickly forgets God everytime He delivered them from their afflictions...i wondered, how can they forget the miracles and amazing feats God did for them? i'm older now...and i realized how foolish my amazement has been...for i forget too...again and again i forget...just as Israel did...
How God must be looking down at this child of His and shakes His head...He'll say: I forget too...again and again i forget...all your iniquities and sins...as long as you come back to My Side and love Me with all your heart and soul and mind...Oh, such amazing love...Oh Lord, don't let me be ruled by my heart's desires but help me to surrender them to You each and everyday...don't let me forget You, Lord...
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