Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Scenario A & B

Guys, imagine scenario A (ok, girls also can imagine lah):

W is a 35 year-old lady who was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) since the age of 17...SLE is an autoimmune disease which ravages through the patient's body, particularly attacking the connective tissues causing complications to the kidneys, joints, lungs, brain, haematological system, basically the whole body...W's disease can only be controlled by long term high dose steroids which left her chubby, with a moon-like face i.e. round...about a few years back, she was also found to have uterine adenomyosis and she ended up with her uterus being removed...but somehow, throughout her sufferings, she found a man who has learned to love her for who she was, inspite of her disease and inability to ever have children...in fact, W and her future husband were going to be married...they just took their wedding photos last month...and their wedding ceremony would have been in another month or two...but last week, she was admitted to the hospital as the doctors found that her kidney function was worsening, thanks to her lupus nephritis...few days into her hospital stay, she developed hypertensive crisis and seizures...which resulted in her being intubated and admitted to ICU...but she seemed to have recovered from her seizures after 2 days in ICU...and she was as conscious as she could be...but last night, W suddenly became unconscious after a sudden increase in her blood pressure...her pupils became fixed and dilated...this morning, an urgent CT brain was done, which showed a massive right subdural and intracerebral haemorrhage...after much discussion among the consultants, it was decided that there will be no surgical intervention as the prognosis was very poor...and brain death testing will be done to confirm brain death...W's husband and family has been explained of her poor prognosis and possibility of brain death...

Now girls, imagine scenario B (ok ok, guys also can imagine):

H is a 35 year-old man who was born with haemophilia, an X-linked inherited blood disease which can cause minor problems like unstoppable bleeding from a small cut...to major problems like spontaneous bleed into the joints and brain...depending on the severity of the disease... unfortunately for H, his was the severe kind...causing him to require frequent blood product transfusion...and he also suffered frequent spontaneous bleed into the knee joints leaving him with deformed arthritic knees...inspite of all his problems, he too, found a woman who loved him unconditionally...and they were planning to get married...but a few days before their wedding, H suddenly collapsed at home after suffering a bout of seizure....he was rushed to the hospital, intubated and resuscitated...an urgent CT brain was done...it showed a massive left intracerebral bleed...the consultants decided that surgical intervention would not improve any outcome...and brain death testing was carried out....

Now Questions:
1. If you were W or H's partner, after being informed that your beloved is now brain dead, which would you choose?
a. Continue to hold on and believe that there might still be a chance/hope that your beloved will someday wake up, and therefore request for continuous ventilatory support until his/her heart fails?
or
b. Accept the fact that your beloved is gone and allow withdrawal of ventilatory support, and slowly pick up your life again and move on without your beloved?

2. If your answer for 1 is a, how long will you wait?
a. 1 year?
b. 10 year?
or
c. forever and ever?

3. If you were W or H, would you want your partner to choose:
a. 1a?
or
b. 1b?

I do not even dare to imagine myself being in W or H's partner's shoes...it is just too painful a situation to go through...given my nature, i might initially choose 1a...i'd play the faithful and hopeful partner because i can't bear to lose my beloved...despite the fact that given my knowledge, i know that the chance of recovery is next to nil...but i can always have faith for a miracle to happen yea?...which brings me to question 2...again, given my personality traits, one day i'd wake up and realize that my beloved is never going to wake up again (that might be only 1 year down the road), and even if he did, i might be tired of waiting...it is not easy caring for a bed-ridden person who cannot return the love you magnanimously give...

So perhaps it would be easier if i chose 1b after all...coz i don't think i can be that magnanimous to live a life of 1a...by choosing 1b, i can play the poor broken hearted soul who lost her one and only love to life's natural selection...and i can isolate myself and listen to
徐佳瑩's 失落沙洲 every day and cry my heart out till there's no more tears to cry...and then perhaps one day, i'll be able to pick myself up again and try to love again....and move on to a life without my beloved...

I'm a selfish soul...so if i were W, i'd want my partner to choose 1a...hoping that a miracle would happen..that he'd stay by my side and speak to me words of love and encouragement...my mind may not hear it, but my soul might...at least then i'll know how much he really loved me...but then again, perhaps 1b is still the more appropriate choice...my mind's gone, he should let my body go as well...so that i can go in peace and be with the Lord and no longer suffer in this world...

Just my two cents...what would your answers be?

3 comments:

  1. hardly to choose...
    我真得拿不了主意。。。

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  2. Anonymous9/7/09 12:46

    A little too much to think on a Thursday but that does not mean it is not happening right now. I would choose 1A but never hope for miracle. If I was W/H, I would strongly hope my partner would choose 1B but secretly hope she will choose 1A.

    P/S: You don't have to complain so much about your life for it is already much better than a lot of people.

    ReplyDelete
  3. yea chuan huat...i guess it'll be very difficult to choose...
    anonymous, so when exactly is your 'too much to think' day? thanks for your answers..i'm actually planning to run a stat on this...
    p/s: i thank God everyday for keeping me alive day after day..and i know God has given me more blessings than i'll ever deserve...but i don't make it a habit to compare my life to others...

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