These are the thoughts, imaginations, ruminations, complaints, etc. about the life of a girl who thinks too much, whose imagination is too wild for her own good, who ruminates on her personal issues, who complains about her life (or the lack of it)....
My new elliptical trainer has finally been delivered to my house today...yay!!! was hurrying home from work to wait for the deliverymen..so when they finally arrived with my new 'baby', i test 'drove' it immediately...it was a good workout...now that i've got an outlet for my accumulated & accumulating fats, there's no need to worry about calories anymore, hehe...
Then again, maybe i should just watch my diet for at least the whole of April...coz i do want to look good in my bikini ;P anyway, gonna burn some rubber..i mean flubber....just watch the fat melt away.......;)
I've finally received my certificate of participation for the borneo international marathon that was held on 12 october 2008...i should have gone to their office and get it earlier but well, i'm a procrastinator...it was very nice of them to mail it to me...so there...the proof of my 'impossible' mission...i actually ran a marathon...in 6 hours 15 mins 39 seconds...that put me among the last few runners in the race...but that's ok...point was...i've done something which i used to think would be impossible for me...of course i didn't run the whole way...by halfway, my right knee was almost ready to give up on me...
So anyway, don't think my right knee ever recovered since then...i've been trying to jog again but i can only last 2 rounds and my right knee feels like it's been osteoarthritic for the past 10 years..so i thought i'd go swimming instead..but it's been raining in the evenings..and i'm too lazy to get up in the morning to swim when i'm doing pm shifts..so finally i decided i'd get myself an exercise machine...those elliptical trainers which has low impact on the knees...cost me half a month's salary..but hey, at least it won't close down on me after 3 months (unlike my stupid gym which cost me more but ran off with my money, leaving me gym-less)...
My new machine will be delivered to my house on Monday...looking forward to an intensive month-long training...hehe, why? coz i'll be going to Bali in early May...must get into shape so i won't get the "when are you due?" questions when ppl see me in my bikini...sigh...the suffering us girls need to go through in the name of vanity...
1. See all the 7 wonders of the world, the Pyramids of Giza, Niagara Falls and Grand Canyon. 2. Do mission work as a mission doctor in at least 5 countries besides Malaysia. 3. Watch Khalil Fong live in concert at least once. 4. Run a marathon..again..under 5 hours this time. 5. Buy a boat and explore the Greek Islands. 6. Watch the sunrise at the peak of Everest. 7. Scuba-dive at the Great Barrier Reefs. 8. See my kids graduate (in the event i do have kids). 9. Fly a plane. 10.Ski in the Alps.
It doesn't have to happen in that order...whichever comes first would be fine...hhmmm, i wonder if any of it will actually be realized..but hey, always dream big...God loves a big dreamer...the list might grow as i grow...hehe...
I'm on call today...and i had quite a scare this morning...they posted a 17 year-old girl for EUA and T & S under GA coz she had a bilateral parasymphysis fracture of the mandible and a dentoalveolar fracture of the right maxilla and some laceration wound..the girl, let's call her A, was involved in an accident yesterday night when the motorcycle she was riding collided with a bus (not sure if it was a stationary bus)..but i supposed she was darn lucky to have escaped with just the above mentioned injury and a closed proximal 1/3 fracture of the right femur.. So anyway, i started the case without much thought...the dental team wanted nasal intubation..after inducing her, i proceeded with the intubation...i inserted the nasal tube into her right nostril (really, what was i thinking?)..it went into the pharyngeal area after some initial resistance but when i was trying to view the vocal cord region, all i saw was blood pool...i think i traumatized her soft tissue while inserting the nasal tube so it started bleeding...i couldn't see the vocal cord coz of all the blood..then patient desaturated and became bradycardic...had to manually bag her till her saturation picked up again...thank God for my MA...i was quite panicky and i couldn't bag properly..so he took over and managed to intubate A with an oral tube...but A aspirated some blood somehow... I called my specialist to come in coz the dental team still wanted nasal intubation...so my boss came in and tried intubating the left nostril but he couldn't get the tube to pass into the pharyngeal region...we guessed there was probably some injury around her nasal region as well...so anyway, they settled for the oral tube and proceeded with the surgery...boss decided to send patient to ICU post-op coz she aspirated... So i learnt a lesson today...next time if i have a patient with facial injury, inform boss and ask boss to come in for help..oh, another lesson...do not think i'm smart enough for my own good....no one's infallible...
Elaine and Siang Lin came down from Kudat yesterday morning..Elaine lamented that this was the only weekend she wasn't on call and could finally come down to KK...which was why I've been looking forward to this weekend..our karaoke session..hehe.. Anyway, i did my first saturday locum OT yesterday...would rather have slept in on a saturday morning instead..but well, i just thought i'd give it a try..that was quite uneventful...met up with Elaine and Siang Lin for lunch...then we went for our karaoke session...it was also our chinese tuition class...coz we'd sing chinese songs that we knew how to sing...yea, no prize for guessing whose songs i'll be singing mostly...i've been learning Khalil's songs dilligently for the past few days...so i could sing them even without Mozilla's add-on to help me read the chinese words...but much to my disappointment, most of Khalil's songs couldn't be played by the karaoke machine...bummer!!! it's like a bloody conspiration against me singing his songs...well, still it didn't stop us from singing for almost 4 hours...phew!!! Oh, Siang Lin went to get a haircut while we were singing our hearts out...and he came back with his new hairstyle a la Khalil Fong...hehe, Siang Lin actually looked more fashionable...though personally, i thought that look on Khalil makes him look a teeny bit too nerdy, hehe...but then again, Khalil can look however he wants, his voice and music will still be as good as ever...
I just found some videos on youtube on Jason Mraz's concert that was held in early March..he was in Hong Kong on 2/3/09 and Malaysia on 4/3/09 (too bad i couldn't go back for that)..but guess who was Jason Mraz's guest star in Hong Kong? It was Khalil Fong!!! Ok, so he wasn't the only one..Fiona Sit was there too..Anyway, Jason and Khalil were singing Jason's "Live High"...it was so cool..although initially Khalil did sound a bit muffled..but it was probably coz the crowd went wild when he started singing and kinda drowned his voice..and he did look a little awkward..though eventually he did get into the groove..it's good to know that Khalil held his own even when singing next to Jason Mraz..:)
Anyway, here a link to the video (not sure if you can actually get there from here)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOcNzrMU0gE
And here's the lyrics to "Live High" (should be correct now, since i checked with the lyrics from the album)
I try to picture a girl
Through a looking glass
See her as a carbon atom
See her eyes and stare back at them
See that girl
As her own new world
Though her home is on the surface, she is still a universe
Glory god or goddess peeking through the blinds
Are we all here standing naked
Taking guesses at the actual date and time
Oh my, justifying reasons why
Is an absolutely insane resolution to live by
Live high
Live mighty
Live righteously
Taking it easy
Live high, live mighty
Live righteously
I try to picture the man
To always have an open hand
And see him as a giving tree
See him as matter
Matter of fact he's not a beast
No not the devil either
Always a good deed doer
And it's laughter that we're making after all
The call of the wild is still an order nation wide
In the order of the primates
All our politics are too late
Oh my, the congregation in my mind
Is an assembly singing their gratitude
And practicing ther loving of you
Live high
Live mighty
Live righteously
Taking it easy
Live high, live mighty
Oh live righteously
Just take it easy
And celebrate the malleable reality
Because nothing is ever as it seems
Yeah this life is but a dream
Lift me up to Thee Almighty
Raise your hands and start acknowledging He
If you're living it righteously
Then you're taking the easy way
Just just just take take take takin' it easy
Live mighty mighty mighty
Living righteously
Live high
Lift me up to Thee
Living righteously
Live high
Celebrate and feel the love inside
Live high
Oh live righteously..
Just take it easy
It's late..need to sleep..good night..live high...zzzzzzz
So i've been listening to Khalil's songs and this particular one has been popping up in my head whenever i feel like humming a tune...it's from his first album 'Soulboy'...this song is called mei tian mei tian...or everyday...i use an add-on that Kok Wei recommended on Mozilla Firefox to help me read the chinese characters..very very helpful...i'll attempt to translate (please excuse my lousy attempt)
每天每天 站在忙亂又無聊的路旁 (everyday, standing by the side of the busy road)
等你向我走來 (waiting for you to come by my way)
每天每天 一直看見到你和你說話 (everyday, talking to you when i see you)
才算有個開始 (only then can it be considered a start)
每天每天 我都沒感覺我們有什麼改變 (everyday, i don't feel like there's any difference about us)
我一直以為 這是永遠 (i always thought, this is forever)
而我無法想像你會離開 (and i cannot imagine that you will leave)
我已習慣 你走在我的右手邊 (i'm used to you walking on my right)
一起看無聊搞笑片 (together we watch nonsensical and funny movies)
約好去看地中海的藍 (go and see the Mediterranean sea)
我已習慣 我們在一起像Old friend (i'm used to us being like old friends)
分享生活裡的一切 我知道你每個笑 (sharing everything in life, i know your every smile)
有不同的意義存在 (has a different meaning)
明白讓你走會後悔(不願意你離開) (understand that letting you go i'll regret [reluctant for you to leave])
這樣的感情太可貴(我現在已瞭解) (this feeling is too precious [now i understand])
Was on the way to locum this evening...stopped by at city mall to ta pau dinner...it rained a little..so when i left and was driving to the clinic, there, right in front of my view was a rainbow...i love rainbows.. it's one of God's miracles that is easily seen...
And i was wondering to myself...if i did get to the end of a rainbow, will i really find a pot of gold and the land of leprechauns? yea well, it's just thoughtless rambles...it's late..
I was on call yesterday...and i hate the 'calm-before-storm' calls..ok, so there wasn't exactly a storm last night..i mean there was no polytrauma with intra-abdominal injury, or leaking AAA, nor was there an ASA 3-4 patient with acute abdomen...in fact in total i only had 6 cases posted to me under emergency, 2 of which i 'ta pau'-ed for Sharon who's on call today...one of which was not done because it was too high risk to be done after office hours (and the orthopaedic team had already kept that left leg necrotizing fasciitis for 3 weeks before they decided to post the patient for wound debridement during my call)...oh and why was this patient high risk?...imagine putting a sumo wrestler under GA or spinal...
The other 'undone' case was due to the fact that there was no water in the level 2 OT from 9pm-3am.. and i didn't even know about it till it happened..and i was doing a neuro case that time (which luckily finished in about 2 hours plus)...sigh...then my MA thought of using the level 3 OT..there was water there..yay!!! so we did 2 appendicectomies (both of each lasted 2 hours plus, sigh..)...and before that started, my MA had a very dramatic attack of gastritis, which left me all alone running the 2 cases...so bottomline was, he slept soundly while i was working real hard till 5am in the morning...sigh...talk about a series of unfortunate events...
Anyway, on a brighter note, i received 2 good news yesterday...about lunch time i got a msg from Alisa which simply say, "i'm pregnant heh"...oh gosh!!! that's just great!!! she's been trying for quite sometime...i'm just so excited....and then Jasmine sent another msg saying, "ALISA IS PREGNANT! ALISA IS PREGNANT!"...hahaha, you can see we're all very excited...and then Alisa msged again and told me about Colleen's wedding...which Alisa would miss because she would not be out of her confinement period yet....anyway, Colleen's wedding is on Nov 28 2009 and i've already booked my leave...haha...this might turn out to be a very good year after all...
P/s: in case you're wondering what i was doing the whole day during my call...i was doing cases from the trauma list which otherwise would not have been done, thanks to the expertise of the orthopaedic team...anyway, need to catch up on my sleep debt...
I decided to do a movie marathon today...what better than to catch up with new movies on a lazy Sunday afternoon yea? and i've been wanting to watch Slumdog Millionaire ever since it came out... there was so much buzz around that movie...as if Hollywood has never come up with a more bizarre movie than this one...
It's interesting how the movie opened with a "Who wants to be a millionaire" type of question about how Jamal Malik, an uneducated young man from the slum of Bombay won 20 million rupees in "Who wants to be a millionaire"...and the ending gave the answer, D. it is written. it reminded me of 'The Alchemist' where the word 'maktub' was used very often...and the word was loosely translated as 'it is written'...
Jesus said that "blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven...blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted...blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth..." Matthew 5:3-5...and i think this truth was demonstrated in Jamal's life in the movie (though Jamal is a Muslim)...only God can do such a miracle and make him know and choose the correct answer every single time...God chose the weak to triumph over those who think they are stronger and better...
I think there's a Jamal in all of us...who is willing to go through shit just to get what he has dreamt of (like when he jumped into the shithole so he could get to Amitabh Bachan to get his autograph)... who would risk his life for someone he loves (like how he went back to look for Latika even though the gangleader was looking for him)...and who is willing to take the chance for a better future (like how he joined the gameshow so that he could find his girl)...
But i think while Jamal is the idealistic hero, his brother, Salim was also a hero in his own ways...he may not have always did the right things and i'm sure many who have watched the movie despised his character...but he did love and protect his brother from the gangleader...and in the end, he let Latika go so she could be with Jamal...
Anyway, talking about quizzes..i remembered when i was back in form 6, Kian Ming and i entered a science quiz which was held in Victoria Institution...of course there was no 1 million ringgit to be won...in fact whatever money we won went to our school...but the point was...we won..and for me, that itself was a miracle...coz like Jamal, i probably had the incredulous look on my face each time a question was posted to me...why? coz i knew the answer to every question...and so did Kian Ming, i think...ah...the taste of winning...such sweet victory...sigh...i missed my school days...
I'm call-free this weekend...yipee!!! that's quite rare to come by these days...so i rewarded myself with a facial treatment on Saturday morning...then went shopping with Sharon at 1 borneo..our mission of the day was to buy pants (yea, forget about dresses and skirts...work has made it so impractical to be wearing skirts/dresses)...so like 2 hunters in an urban jungle, we hunted for our 'practical pants'...but just like most girls, we were always distracted by other stuffs..like shoes..:)..so i ended up buying a pair of heels, which i feel is a bit too fashionable for me...well, will see when i actually get an occasion to wear my new pair of heels...
But we were a pair of determined bargain hunters..so in the end i managed to buy 3 pair of pants (which length i'll have to alter, thanks to me being vertically-challenged)...and Sharon bought 2 pair of pants and a dress..;)..btw, in case you're wondering why we're so determined to get new pants..will let you in on a secret...most of the pants i have are about half a decade old...and they're quite worn-out...
After sending Sharon home, i went to meet up with Adrian, a long-time friend from Sibu who came to Sabah a few days for business...haven't met the guy since the first time i met him actually...and that was like 11 years ago...but it was sure good to meet up and catch up...we actually met in a camp when we were in form 5...really missed the good old times back in the camp...
Had a really long morning on Friday...went to work at 8am (ok, well, was like 10 mins late)...had to escort a ventilated patient from medical ICU to SMC for MRI brain..then had to escort the same patient for tracheostomy...thank God we could do it in the emergency OT in SMC...if not, it would have meant extra transfer being done...it didn't help that the stupid lift in Queen was on 'holiday' again...by the time we came back to ICU, it was almost 1pm...all i could feel was sleepy...and then i remembered..crap!!! forgot to do a chest x-ray for the patient before bringing her back to ward...argh!!! and as expected, boss asked...chest x-ray? i was too tired to answer...
Went for a movie with Sharon after work...we watched 'Marley and Me'...read the book before..so thought it'd be nice to check out the movie as well...wasn't too impressed at the beginning..Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston aren't exactly my favourites...but Marley came along and just stole my heart...i think despite being the world's worst dog, Marley the labrador 'evader' is really the hero of the movie...
I've never had a pet that i got really attached to...had a tortoise that died after a week...we had a cat for a while when i was still in high school...she was a stray who just came into our house one day...we just called her 'ah meow'...she was never allowed into the house..though she tried everyday to get in..if she did, we'd chase her out...my bro is asthmatic..and i'm actually allergic to fur...so we fed her..bathed her like really occasionally..i did scratch ah meow's chin and rub her belly...watched her gave birth to litters of kitten (and cruelly separate her babies from her)...mom and dad tried to get rid of her once or twice..they took her to the marketplace at the next neighbourhood...but she found her way back both times...i guess she just knew where her home was...but the third time my parents sent her off...she didn't come back...i always wondered if she didn't come back because she died or maybe she just knew she wasn't really wanted anymore...
I've never wanted a pet since..but after watching 'Marley and Me'...it kinda moved me a little to think about the idea...i have plenty of reasons why i shouldn't have a pet...i'm allergic to fur, i'm busy working..no time to house-train,feed,bathe,play with the pet...but i think those are just excuses.. coz the main reason is probably that i fear the thought of losing a beloved pet...like Paulo Coelho said in 'The Alchemist', hearts don't like to suffer...so if i don't have a pet, i won't suffer from losing a pet...but then i also miss out on having been loved by my pet unconditionally...
This is probably the craziest thing I've done by far...since my Gary Barlow encounter that is (of course that's a whole other story)...anyway, it all started last year when i decided to change my default radio station (which was then mixfm) to myfm (in my effort to improve on my chinese)...so one day, i heard this very catchy, jazzy song on radio..it was Fang Da Tong's 'ru guo ai'...i thought hey, love this song...but i couldn't find his song online (at that time i didn't know that Khalil Fong = Fang Da Tong)..anyway, somewhere early this year, myfm was promoting Khalil's new album 'orange moon'..and they were playing his new songs from the album i.e. 'wei ni xie de ge' and 'xiao xiao chong'..and i loved his music..so i youtubed him, listened to his songs and developed a massive high school girl crush on Khalil Fong...;p
Next thing i knew, i bought his 'orange moon' album and was listening to it again and again..and again...and i was dreaming of how nice it would be to be able to meet him and watch him sing and play live...i checked online and found out that Khalil was having a concert in Shanghai on Feb 13....i would have bought a flight tic to Shanghai for his concert if i was not on call on Feb 14...sigh...i was pretty crushed... But then thanks to myfm, i found out that Khalil was coming to Malaysia on Feb 21-22....my heart made a triple sommersault...AAAHH!!!! MY DREAM CAME TRUE!!!...i bought a tic back to KL 2 days after i found out that he was coming to KL (guess a girl can't wish for too much yea? like wouldn't it be nicer if he came to KK instead?)...but i had to wait for an agonizing week before THE DAY arrived...but suddenly, bad calls weren't so bad anymore..all i could think about was meeting Khalil... I was on call Feb 17...the night before that i had a sudden inspiration to write Khalil a 'fan letter' (yea, the stupid things ppl do when they have massive crushes)...oh, i even bought a cutesy pair of handphone accessories (where the male half was put into the 'fan letter' and the female half was kept by me)....i think i was 'possessed' (coz i've never done anything like that)....anyway, my call ended with an admission at 8am and patient collapsed upon admission and we resuscitated him for almost 2 hours only to have lost him...i only finished my passover round at 10.45am...and i got a bloody ticket for parking outside SMC...what luck, i thought...and what luck indeed.... Coz as i was driving home, with myfm blaring on the background to keep me from dozing off, i heard the cue to call in to win Khalil's orange moon CD and a chance to take personal photos with him during his meet his fan session on Feb 21...for a sleep-lacking post-call person, my reflex was pretty fast....coz i reached out for my phone and dialled the number...and i got through!!!! hahahaha...ok, i'll leave out the details of the phone call coz it was pretty embarassing...thanks to me being mandarin-ly-challenged...;p Gosh!!! I was actually so wide awake after that...yet i was quite in a daze...everything was just turning out to be too good to be true...and days were passing so slowly for me...was on call again Feb 20...passed over to Pang on Feb 21 morning (thanks Pang..for coming earlier so that i could catch my flight)...rushed home to get my luggage...and Connie sent me to the airport (thanks Connie..for sending me to the airport)...by the time i got home (in KL) it was almost 3pm (stupid airasia flight got delayed..for the umpteenth time)... Anyway, i quickly prepared for my 'hot date' (that's what Connie called it) with Khalil..hehe..washed and blew-dry my hair...put on make up...changed..and voila!!! I'm all ready... Thankfully, my bro was kind enough to send me to Sungei Wang where Khalil was meeting his fans..I was there at 5.30pm...Khalil was only expected to start performing at 7pm...it was raining a little around 6pm something...and i was so worried that he wouldn't be there due to the rain. (coz the stage was outside)..but thank God the rain stopped about 6.45pm...by then the crowd has already formed around the barricade (am still wondering why they needed the barricade) and i finally found the myfm girl who were supposed to give us the free cds and the 'pass' to get inside the barricade (i could get really upclose pics of Khalil performing)... Finally THE MOMENT arrived (albeit about half-hour late)....Khalil came onstage and the crowd went wild (er..me included)...he sang 'ru guo ai', followed by 'singalongsong' and the acoustic version of 'ai ai ai'....gosh!! he played the guitar so well..and his voice (very melting effect)...though he kept getting his lyrics wrong...but for him..it's pardonable...;)...then it was the autograph session...the 9 of us who called in for the myfm contest got to take group photos with Khalil (well, i was kinda expecting just me and him but hey, guess this was showbiz)...then he signed our cds...when it was my turn, i tried to take pics of just the 2 of us upclose.. but the result was very much disappointing...anyway, i gave him my 'fan letter' and got to shake hand with him...Connie actually said i should try to kiss him (well, i did get a kiss from Gary Barlow when i met him)..yea right...in an asian setting...i didn't even dare to ask Khalil if i could give him a hug...i might have gotten dragged off stage by the event managers...after he signed all my cds (yea, i have his soulboy, this love, wonderland, orange moon, and his wonderland live), it started pouring...dang!!! and i had to get off the stage and run for shelter...well, i didn't want to..but my mom (yea, my mom actually tagged along), my bro and his gf wouldn't let me stand in the rain...i wanted to stay and watch Khalil as long as he was there...well, i have to make my money worth yea? Sigh...so that was it...my Khalil encounter...i'm still reeling from it even now...i'm just waiting for his next concert....i did leave my email in the letter...but i guess he's not the kind who replies his fans...oh well...life goes on...
This is not my 1st ever blog...used to have a blog in my friendster..but i kinda outgrew friendster so I hardly log in there these days..a friend said i should start a blog..i think i was complaining out loud too often in facebook...so anyway, since my social life revolves mostly around the webpages...why not restart my blogging habit yea? would love to write more...but it's past midnight now...'post' later...nights..
