Post call...St Kathleen is coming home...

Ok, yesterday's call was good throughout the day...but like how there's always a calm before storm, i never liked being too free during the day...coz that almost always means that patients will come at night...and as expected, the surgery MO on call called at 11.30pm and requested for an ICU bed for a patient with peritonitis in sepsis...i knew it!!! oh well, so there goes my good night's sleep... and then that neuro patient from OT had to come in for cerebral resuscitation...sigh!!! anyway, i survived my call and so did my patients..

I came home after i dropped by at the hospital's office to collect Jerome's payslips...worked out (yea, still trying to get into shape, although i think it's a little too late now..sob!!) for a while..bathed..then went out to meet Connie...got myself a bikini wax (ouch!!)..they used soft wax...i think i shall stick to going to 'Strip' at Bangsar for my future waxes...somehow, hard wax felt less agonizing...then i went to the money changer to change some rupiahs..this will be the only time i ever feel like a millionaire...

So anyway, Kit Yin has canonized me and declared me St Kathleen..and she and my elder sis Yvonne are very excited that i'm coming back home to KL...we'll be having dinner together tomorrow..yup, that's about all i ever do lately...eat, eat, eat...no wonder my work out regime isn't working out...better finish up my laundry...almost time to head for the airport...see you back in KL...

Avatar: The Last Airbender

I grew up watching cartoons...from carebears to my little ponies to smurfs to thundercats to transformers and tom & jerry and popeye...you name it, i've watched it..yes, i'm an 80s baby...i would have probably stopped watching cartoons after i started secondary school had it not been for my youngest sister Petrina who was still in her cartoon years that time...so i had excuses to watch cartoon i.e. quality time with my mei mei...hehe...

But i think i totally lost touch with cartoon after med school...except for the occasional indulgence in nickelodeon, disney and cartoon network and animax channels during my sem breaks...again...quality time with my mei mei...hehe..my sis Petrina loves cartoon more than i do...i think...so anyway, there was this cartoon called Avatar: The Last Airbender that she watches on nickelodeon...but i didn't really got into it until lately...

Kean Khang uploaded the whole complete series of Avatar onto our MO room's computer...so whenever i'm doing ICU calls and i'm not too busy...well, no prize for guessing what i'll be doing in the MO room lah..hehe..it's actually quite addictive...and the characters are so quirky and funny.. typical of Japanese cartoon (though actually this isn't a manga or anime, it's american)...there's Aang the Avatar with his 6-legged sky bison, Appa...and Katara the waterbender and her brother Sokka..and Toph...the blind earthbender...and Zuko and Azula, the heir(s) to fire nation....i still have a few episodes before the series come to an end...hope to finish watching during my next call..before i go on my leave and head down to Bali for a week of paradise..hehe...

Lucky

So i've been listening to Jason Mraz quite often lately (but not as often as Khalil Fong ;P)...there's a song in the album called "Lucky", which featured Colbie Caillat...somehow when i hear this song, tears kind of start welling in my eyes...i wonder why...probably coz i know it'll never happen to me...not becoz i don't have guy buddies...it's just that my guy buddies will never fall for me (romantically) and therefore, vice versa...

I took one of those quizzes on facebook on "who will you fall for?" or one of its variation...my result was that i'd fall for my best friend...i couldn't help but laugh to myself...i mean, there's no more guy buddies left for me to fall for, really..all my guy buddies are in a stable relationship (with another girl) -_-" sigh...i think i'll stick to my fish omen...seems more promising, hahaha...

Anyway, here are the lyrics of Lucky...

Do you hear me talking to you
Across the water, across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my baby, I'm trying

Boy i hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky i'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where i have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you, I promise you, I will

Lucky i'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where i have been
Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love in everyway
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

So I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Through the breezes, through the trees
More so pretty you're all i see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

So there...perhaps one day i'll get 'lucky' too...till then, life goes on...maybe it's time to look for new guy buddies, hehehe...;P

My 1st fishing trip...and the orange moon...

I was post call last Sunday...had a relatively good call but my sleep was interrupted by stupid PCA machines that were malfunctioning...never mind about that...i'd rather talk about my 1st ever sea-fishing trip...so after i passover my call to the next person on call, i rushed home to change and pack for the fishing trip..Pang and Sharon came to pick me up..then we drove to the Pasir Mas jetty at Putatan with Soong Yuen and Stan following behind our car...not surprisingly, we lost our way but eventually, we managed to find the jetty...praise the Lord!!

So we hopped onto the boat and off we headed into the open waters...i love boat rides...i've been blessed with a anti-motion sickness labyrinth so boat rides are a thrill for me..anyway, we stopped at our 1st fishing spot...cast my 1st line...i found out that casting a line wasn't difficult..but the waiting was quite torturous...i'm not exactly built with the kind of patience for fishing...so i was just talking and laughing most of the time (and dozing off too)..and no, i don't think the fish can actually hear us from down there..Pang caught the 1st fish of the day...and we all clambered to take a pic with the fish.. in case we didn't get anymore fish..hehe, at least got a pic with a fish...;)

But we needn't have worried...coz after we moved to the next fishing spot, i caught my 1st fish..YEA!!! i was actually quite bored and losing hope already...so i said, i just needed to catch ONE fish...as an omen...coz if i didn't catch a fish after a whole long day of fishing, then i'm meant for a single life like, forever..hahaha...well then, i hope this is a good omen then..catching ONE fish.. hahaha...;)..following my 1st catch, Soong Yuen caught 3 fish...she was so proud of herself, hehe..:)

We had some problem with answering nature's call though...coz there's no toilet in the boat...and i'm the kind who drinks water like a fish, hence needing to empty my bladder quite often...well, the boatman stopped twice on some island for us to relieve ourselves..but there was once when my bladder couldn't hold anymore and we were out in the open sea..so i decided to answer nature's call...the natural way...jumped into the water and relieve myself...hahaha...after that, we didn't catch anything there..so the other guys said it was probably coz my ammonium waste drove the fish away..;P

Anyway, i eventually caught my 2nd fish...i didn't even feel the tug..i was just reeling my line in and suddenly, up came the baby grouper..hehe..it was so cute...but since it was too small to be eaten, we released it back into the water...

We also managed to watch the sunset from our boat...the orange moon was lovely...took quite some pics of the sun dipping into the horizon...but i think the colour of my camera isn't too good..the pics came out different from the actual colour we saw...the mood and atmosphere was very very romantic...unfortunately i didn't have someone special to share it with me...of course 2 persons watching the sunset together would be more beautiful than watching it alone lah...sigh...for now, have to settle with watching it alone lor..

I was really tired by the time we came back to the land...and i had chemical conjunctivitis from repeated application of sunblock to my face...so we only took the 5 fish we caught to the restaurant the next day...yes, to be steamed and eaten..yummy!!! fresh fish never tasted so good...anyway, fishing will never be my favourite past time (i'm just not built for it)...but it'll still be fun going for a fishing trip with friends in the future...ok Pang...waiting for the next trip..:P

Smiling face...

My last post was quite a morbid one...i think i shall post something more uplifting this time round...and share about Khalil's songs...this one is from his Orange Moon album...it's called 100種表情...or '100 kinds of expressions'...Khalil wrote in his blog that initially he wanted to name this song 'Smiling Face'...but i guess it didn't turn out that way...this is one of my more favourite songs of the album (i love all the songs in this album)...and i shall once again attempt to translate the lyrics..

雨點飄　妳的酒窩在笑　妳說水滴在跳　幸福的曲調
(Rain drops float, your dimple is smiling, you say drops are jumping, humming a happy tune)

彩虹點亮了下一秒　世界很大　人很渺小　驚喜總出乎意料
(The second after the rainbow and morning, world is huge, people are minute, a pleasant surprise is always unexpected)

一百種表情　快樂的小事情　一百種表情　微笑在妳眼睛
(100 kinds of expressions, the little things of happiness, 100 kinds of expressions, the smile in your eyes)
簡單的音符最動聽　妳的甜蜜隨風輕　也感染　我的心
(A simple tune is the most pleasant sound, your sweetness and carefree light-heartedness, infects my heart)

電視裡　他和她都苦笑　妳彎著嘴角笑　說是自找煩惱
(On TV, both of them are crying and laughing, you smile with the corner of your mouth, you say it's self-brought problems)

轉個思考換個頻道　不須計較　搜尋訣竅　還不如　來個擁抱
(A change of thought, a change of frequency, no need to argue or search for tricks, better still to give each other a hug)

一百種表情　快樂的小事情　一百種表情　微笑在妳眼睛
(100 kinds of expressions, the little things of happiness, 100 kinds of expressions, the smile in your eyes)

簡單的音符最動聽　妳的甜蜜隨風輕　也感染　我的心
(A simple tune is the most pleasant sound, your sweetness and carefree light-heartedness, infects my heart)

鳥語了蟲鳴了　桃源之音　妳我耳邊飛行
(The songs of birds and cries of insects, sound of Taoyuan, floating beside our ears)

花開了葉落了　窗外的風景　很憧憬
(Flowers bloom, leaves fall, the scenery outside the window, is very looked forward to)

妳溫暖　我的生命　捧在手心　最愛是妳　專注的神情
(Your warmth is my life force, i hold it in my hand and heart, the person i love most is you, a focused expression)

一百種表情　快樂的小事情　一百種表情　微笑在妳眼睛
(100 kinds of expressions, the little things of happiness, 100 kinds of expressions, the smile in your eyes)

簡單的音符最動聽　妳的甜蜜隨風輕　也感染　我的心
(A simple tune is the most pleasant sound, your sweetness and carefree light-heartedness, infects my heart)

Ok, i think my translation doesn't justify the song..it makes more sense when it's in Chinese..and when Khalil sings it...his music just infects my heart...;)

Another murder, another death....

If you read my post "Death on Easter", you would have remembered the uncle (let's address him as uncle K) i sent out from ICU to take in uncle V...you would also remembered that i mentioned he already had 2 near death experiences while out in the wilderness of the chronic ward...and you would also remembered that i dreamt he died in the chronic ward...

I just got a message from a colleague..it read: Uncle K died...at 5am this morning...his tracheostomy tube was blocked...and no one noticed...not the caretaker, not the nurse, not the houseman on call...so i was right...if the same thing happened twice, it'd bound to happen the 3rd time..only this time, uncle K wasn't so fortunate...no one came to his rescue...and for once, i wish i hadn't dream of a dream that came true...

May God bless uncle K's soul...

The year I was 18...

As i was driving to locum this evening, the radio was playing a song about life at 18...transported me back to the year i turned 18...the memories made me smile...that was 10 years ago...how time flies... looking back, i can't believe i was ever that young and innocent...hehe...

18 was the year i was waiting for my SPM results...it was also the year i dated a guy whom i was so sure i was going to end up marrying...the year i did a lot of sneaking out..the year i almost burnt down my house...it was also the year i got my straight A's...and went to Form 6...and caught a lot of bugs (for our Biology project)...it was a year filled with much laughter..mistakes..redemption..and tears too...

So now 10 years later, i'm not married to that guy i dated back then...funny how sure you are about life when you were 18...but now, everything seems so uncertain...it's like although tomorrow would be the same routine for me, but i'm just not sure what i'm doing with my life anymore...

Death on Easter

I was on call yesterday...wasn't too busy...intubated a patient outside ICU, which turned out to be a difficult intubation...that uncle wasn't even Chinese..i'm beginning to think that perhaps the scoline the nurse gave wasn't really scoline...though the uncle didn't fight when i was intubating him..except that his vocal cords were darn anterior and they were apposing each other...which shouldn't be the case if he was truly paralysed..anyway, two attempts and both times the ETT went into the oesophagus... but he didn't desaturate that bad..coz still could manual bag him..tried with bougie..couldn't get the bougie in...thank God a ex-colleague came to the ward (he used to be in GA but now in surgery)...so i asked him for help and he got the tube in...only then could i sigh with relief...and no, this wasn't the death on easter..

So then it was quiet till about dinner time...got a call from the medical MO on call...said they intubated a patient in casualty for low saturation...so needed an ICU bed...had to transfer an uncle out to the chronic ward though i'd rather not...coz this uncle had 2 near death experiences in the chronic ward and you know what they say about twice..there bound to be a third time (and i actually dreamt that that was what exactly happened to him during the fitful sleep i had last night)...

Anyway, that patient from casualty..let's call him uncle V..he was younger than the uncle i sent out.. though he had history of probably lymphoma 10 years ago...apparently completed chemotherapy and was in remission...uncle V lives in Canada and came back to Malaysia yearly for holidays.. how unfortunate that this time he developed fever and some difficulty in breathing...so he was brought to casualty and the MO there noted that his oxygen saturation was only 70% on high flow mask..so they decided to intubate him...

By the time they sent uncle V up to ICU, his ETT was already dislodged...the escorting houseman and nurse oblivious to his predicament...uncle V was also on double inotropes (albeit low dose), which probably explained why his blood pressure was only 60/30mmHg when we checked...i'm not even going to start raving about that...so i just told my nurse that we needed to reintubate uncle V...i prayed so hard that it won't be a difficult intubation..uncle V was Chinese though he was cachexic..and his cancer was supposed to have been at the neck region...thank God i got the tube in the first time...so we proceeded to resuscitate uncle V...put him on high dose IV dopamine and noradrenaline...set a central venous line for the inotropes..put in an arterial line to monitor beat to beat blood pressure...uncle V's ABG was horrible.. his paO2 on FiO2 100% was only about 55...i tried high PEEP and pressure control...was able to achieve good tidal volume but his oxygen saturation just refused to improve...

And he also had SVT..probably due to the high dose dopamine...rate was over 160 bpm.. BP was only 100/60 plus...so i tried cardioverting him twice..heart rate only came down to 150bpm..not much improvement in the BP also...he gradually deteriorated despite the inotropes, antibiotics and fluid challenge...he was having neutropenic sepsis, probably due to some immunosuppressive medications he was taking...by 5am on Easter his heart stopped..we CPRed him for 5 mins..his heart was revived but we knew it was probably the adrenaline effect...we called uncle V's brother and sister-in-law..by the time they came, we were starting a 2nd round of CPR...his relatives were Christians and so they were praying for his resurrection throughout the CPR...

Yet, i only felt sad knowing that uncle V would not be revived and that our effort was futile...by 6am, uncle V was pronounced dead...we CPRed for 30 mins and he never came back...he died a single man...my only consolation was that he is save with Jesus now....

I went to church after i bathed in the hospital..for the record, yesterday was the most amount of times i bathed during a call..twice...anyway, today's service was a talk show session...Pastor John was asked by the MC about how to break bad news to patients who were dying or terminally ill...so Pastor John was saying that there are many reactions he gets from patients when they get the bad news...the usual anger, denial etc etc.. he gave an example of a man who said," i was a hotshot businessman yesterday and today i'm dying of cancer...why me? why so unfair?"...and i thought to myself, what's so unfair about that? is it fairer if that man was a penniless nobody? because we're all sinners, we all deserved to die anyway...there's nothing unfair about dying...the only unfairness in dying was when Jesus, who was without sins, died on the cross to pay for our sins....

They also played a short video clip called 'the bridge'...it's about a railway bridgemaster and his only son...one day, while he lifted up the bridge, there was a train heading for the bridge..his son saw the train and tried to warn his father and the train...but the son fell under the bridge and the bridgemaster had to decide whether to let a whole train load of ppl die, or let his son die...i guess we all know what happened in the end...but all i could think of were the ppl in the train...they didn't even know they were going to die..and they didn't even know the sacrifice the bridgemaster made for them...

I know i sound like a fatalist...today is the day Jesus rose from the dead...he has conquered death once for all...we no longer need to fear death...but i can't help wishing that i didn't have to see my patient die today, of all days...anyway, Happy and Blessed Easter...tomorrow i'm on call again...

Humans fail...

Sometimes when loneliness ambushed my room at night
I wondered why I'm alone
Then I remembered...humans fail

Sometimes I wondered why many marriages and families are broken
And children grow up in a mess
Then i remembered...humans fail

Sometimes wars rage in countries
I wonder why brothers murder each other
Then i remembered...humans fail

Sometimes friends forget
and inadvertently make mistakes
Then i remembered..humans fail

But thanks be to God
For sending Jesus His Son, who was God but also Man
Then i remembered...He did not, does not and will not fail

So i will not put my faith in humans, but in Jesus who will not fail me...

*Happy Good Friday*

Post-call Locum...

So here I am..in the locum clinic...doing post-call locum...us GA MOs get quite a lot of post-call locum offers...i used to do that quite often during the early days of my GA MO life...but i think after a while...you just feel tired...well, at least i do...these days, when i'm post call, i just wanna go home and crawl right into bed and sleep the whole day off...don't get me wrong...sometimes even with very bad calls i still can get like 2-3 hours sleep...which is quite good already...and i had a very good call last night... i slept the whole night through..waking up in between only to check on my patients...

Maybe age really is catching up with me...or perhaps my passion for my vocation has waned...or perhaps doing locum was never what i considered my vocation...in fact, the only reason why i started doing locum was to fund/fuel my travelling 'habit'...i want to go somewhere, do locum actively for a few months, then go on leave and travel...come back, be broke for a few months, so do locum again...and save for my next travel...or if i want to buy something, do more locum, then buy the thing i want...there's a saying in Malay that goes like this: kais pagi, makan pagi...kais petang, makan petang... i guess this is kind of like the modern version...

Sigh...i don't usually get bored easily...but i think i'm bored now...not of typing a post...but of monotony...of normality...of constancy...of routine...yet subconsciously i'm resisting change...i fear the unknown and uncertainty of what change might bring me..might do to my cozy life-style...oh, i'm such a.....hmmm...how do you describe someone like me? never mind...my post call mind isn't working too well...

Pre-call Blues...

Sigh...i'm on call tomorrow...and i'm having the pre-call blues now...i don't think i have a personality that predisposes to depression or anything close to that...but sometimes i do get the feeling blue a day before i go on call...or maybe it's just PMS...haha...but i'm feeling quite dysthymic now..even listening to Khalil Fong is not lifting my mood...sigh...

Better try to get some sleep...pray for a good call tomorrow...good night...

We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things - Jason Mraz

It's Sunday today...woke up at 9.15am..felt like giving church a skip...but dragged myself out of bed anyway...reached church few minutes after worship session started.. gave my tithe ( I was sure I took out all the big notes and put it in the offering bag)..sermon was on Jesus exposing legalism of the Pharisees, Sadducees and scribes... how appropriate...there i was feeling like a hypocrite..being in church when i wished i was somewhere else...but there wasn't really any particular place i'd rather be in though...

Anyway, after service, went to CP..been wanting to get Jason Mraz's We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things since i heard his Live High...so i paid rm39.90 for 3 of his discs and they even threw in his t-shirt...quite a good deal...especially since his songs sounded really good...love his groove..


I actually wanted to get Joanna & Wang Ruo Lin too..but it was a bit more expensive and i thought i didn't have enough money to buy it..so i settled with just one album today...as i was getting my wallet to pay, guess what i found in my wallet? there were 2 rm50 notes in my wallet!!! (which was supposed to have been put into the offering bag in church earlier)...dang!!! now i look really bad (good thing Jesus doesn't judge as human does)...will give the left out tithe next week -_-"

Oh well, since i had the extra cash, i decided to go shopping (trying out what my sister calls retail therapy, haha)...bought a pair of casual pants, 2 pair of shorts and a pair of flip-flops (preparation for Bali, i know it's still 3 weeks away but i'll be busy after this weekend ;P)...

So back to Jason Mraz...love the album art..love his music..love his lyrics..love his voice..love his casual, honest, in-your-face views on things that matters...though if it was his writing that was used in the album, i guess we're equal (horrible hand-writing)... besides Live High, there was another song that caught me at 'first listen'...it's called A Beautiful Mess...i felt as if it was written for me (about me)...haha...how conceited...and Jason Mraz doesn't even know i exist..but i think most girls can relate to this song very well...here's how it goes...

You got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man and lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy
Humble but you're greedy
Based on your body language and shoddy cursive
I've been reading your style is quite selective though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

Hey what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't my nerve
You can call it fiction but I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
Cause here we are here we are

Although you're biased I love your advice
Your comebacks, they're quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy
Depending on how you take these words I'm paraphrasing
This relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
Kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are here we are here we are (x7)

We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes
And through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
Tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it's nice today
The wait was so worth it...

Now i only need the right guy to sing this one for me..Well, it's time to work out on my elliptical trainer..and then need to get ready for my 'sleepover' at the locum clinic tonight...

April Fool's Day..and sleeping around..

Yesterday was April Fool's day..but i was too busy paying back my sleep debt (post call) and doing locum...well, supposed to only have a 5-8pm locum..then suddenly got a msg from Hoe asking me if i wanna do overnight locum...i thought, what the heck...just do it lah...haven't done overnight locum for quite sometime lately...guess i'm just tired of sleeping around...yea, that's what Elaine said i used to do...sleep around..in almost every clinic that offers overnight locum...hence me being nicknamed "locum queen"...and hence me being called "money crazy" by my ex...

Anyway, April Fool's day reminds me of a book i read quite a while ago...it was written by this Australian author Bryce something..or something Bryce..he wrote the book for his son...who was a bleeder...suffered from Haemophilia A...and much of its complications like recurrent haemarthroses and the likes...and his son was also very unfortunate to have been infected with HIV during transfusion of Factor VIII...a blood product which saved his life many many times..but which was also the one that killed him eventually...i cried so much reading that book...but it was really inspirational...if you're a reader...and haven't read this one...go read it...

On call scare 2...

Yesterday was my first on call in Queen again after like a month in SMC...started my call after office hours by resuscitating a patient who was also an anaesthetist's nightmare (so commented Pang)... Chinese man...big size...short neck..receding chin..TMD less than 3cm...you get the idea..so anyway, this uncle presented with one day history of recurrent vomiting and shortness of breath...came to casualty, oxygen saturation was only 70-80% on high flow mask 15L/min...ABG was bad...medical referred for ICU admission...boss asked to assess the patient at casualty to see how bad the patient was...

Uncle was already drowsy and very tachypnoiec when i saw him...but he was still responding to my questions..so anyway, decided to intubate him before bringing him up to ICU...while they were preparing for intubation, i think Uncle became unconscious and when we put him supine, he vomited copious amount of coffee ground fluid (Ryle's tube was not inserted yet...dang!)...so we quickly gave scoline and i tried intubating but it was next to impossible...Cormack-Lehane IIIb...i could only see the epiglottis but couldn't see the vocal cords even with all the manoeveures...and it didn't help that his vomitus kept coming out...suctioning was practically useless...i used the bougie and still failed twice...tube went into the oesophagus...and we were losing Uncle..coz he went asystole and we had to start CPR...

So i called Pang for help...good thing he hasn't left the hospital yet...God bless him...so he came and finally we managed to secure the airway after another 2 attempts...but Uncle already aspirated his vomitus...we resuscitated for almost 40 mins...defibbed him 4 times...his pulses finally came back..but BP was unrecordable..so we started on IV dopamine...he kept going into VT....but then it reverted back to some junctional rhythm...

So anyway, medical decided to ventilate him in the chronic side since his prognosis was bad..and there was only 1 bed left in ICU...so when Uncle was finally stable enough to be sent up to the ward, i went to check on him...that's when another drama happened..

There was another patient in the chronic ward who self-extubated himself that afternoon...breathing effort was ok..GCS about there only...he was probably having hepatic encephalopathy...so liver man was on Ventimask 50% and ABG wasn't too great either..and he refused to cough out his secretion...so while i was checking on Uncle, liver man's relative suddenly came up to me and told me that liver man stopped breathing and has turned blue...i was like..shit!! not another one...but yea, he was blue, apnoiec and pulseless..thus another CPR was initiated...but i had no idea how long liver man was already hypoxic...turned out, his oxygen tank ran out of oxygen..which was probably why he became hypoxic and eventually apnoiec...and the houseman on call wasn't around..

And his wife thought he was just sleeping...luckily he wasn't a difficult intubation case...got the tube in...continued CPR...came back after 15 mins...but his brain was probably gone by then..though he had spontaneous breathing again after about half-hour..so there were 3 ventilated patients in the chronic ward last night...all with very grave prognosis...

By morning..i had to start Uncle on IV adrenaline coz his BP was unrecordable...his IV dopamine ran out...but the nurses were too busy to change the syringe (well, guess it's expected if there were only 2 nurses taking care of 30 over patients)..but it was changed eventually...i ran in fluid and all...his BP picked up...but i fear all my effort would be in vain...

2 CPRs in a call...that only equalled one of my call when i was still a houseman...sigh....guess i can live with it..but the 2 patients may not live much longer...