So i was out for dinner with Becky, Flora and Connie at Upperstar earlier...we had a good time chatting and catching up...after dinner i came home and decided to take a stroll to fulfill a promise to myself to go moon-gazing...i can't remember the last time i took a night stroll by myself...i kinda miss that...
There's a song that goes..."blue moon..you saw me standing alone...without the love of my own...lalala" don't remember the rest of the lyrics...quite the song for me tonight...except that the moon is full instead of blue...i walked to the end of the road opposite Eden Heights and watched the moon... and also the quite spectacular display of fireworks...noisy as it was...it was pretty romantic...even if i was watching it by myself...i was also humming along 月亮代表我的心 thinking how nice it would be if Khalil were there to sing the song for me...hahahaha...dream on...
Well, it was a good walk...was actually quite worried that the fireworks will go on and on into the night...thus preventing me from getting a good night's sleep...but it's quite quiet now...except for the occasional blast...and i took my piriton...and feeling a little drowsy...well, if i may dare to hope, perhaps there'll be a time when i don't have to watch the full moon alone...oh well, i'm on call again tomorrow...happy chap goh mei again people...
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Happy Chap Goh Mei...
So today is Chap Goh Mei...also known as Chinese Valentine's Day...it's a Sunday...and i'm post call..i supposed i had a fairly good call...though i guess i just had to get some bleeding cases...and yes, naughty me...i slept in instead of going to church...Pang said something the other day...he said, "I believe in Christ, it's the Christians i don't trust"....i can't help but agree to that sentiment...coz lately i've met enough Christians who have finally made me understand why my parents despised the fact that i became one....i shall not elaborate on this lest i may be accused of being judgmental...that's between them and God...i, myself am definitely among the unworthy ones....
Anyway, i was out for lunch with Elaine...had jap food...then we went to the wedding studio "All About Love" to check out their wedding packages and book a date for her pre-wedding shoot...i must say that the photos are really good...but the wedding gowns selection was a bit limited...no worries...the girl said more new ones will be coming by end of April...Elaine and Siang Lin are planning to have one of their photo shoot at Kudat...at the tip of Borneo...and i'll be tagging along...hehe...so menyibuk...
On another note, i've finally booked my tickets to New Zealand...WOOHOO!!! Thank You, Lord!! After all the hurdles and obstacles, it's finally done!!! Cam, we're going to New Zealand this August!!! must start checking out where to go...we'll be there for about 10 days...should be enough to cover both islands...but MAS website is pretty discriminative...i had problem booking my flights when i used the status Dr...but i had no problem booking my flights using Ms...it's like the stupidest thing i've ever encountered...really Malaysia Boleh...bloody discriminative idiots!!!
We're celebrating Becky's birthday tonight...single girls night out...hehe...not planning to be out late though...tomorrow on call again...but must at least have a session of moon-gazing tonight...looking at full moon especially on Chap Goh Mei is a thing too romantic to be missed...anyway, Happy Chap Goh Mei...and to all single girls, have fun throwing mandarin oranges into the river...hahahaha...(yours truly will be sleeping early)....
Anyway, i was out for lunch with Elaine...had jap food...then we went to the wedding studio "All About Love" to check out their wedding packages and book a date for her pre-wedding shoot...i must say that the photos are really good...but the wedding gowns selection was a bit limited...no worries...the girl said more new ones will be coming by end of April...Elaine and Siang Lin are planning to have one of their photo shoot at Kudat...at the tip of Borneo...and i'll be tagging along...hehe...so menyibuk...
On another note, i've finally booked my tickets to New Zealand...WOOHOO!!! Thank You, Lord!! After all the hurdles and obstacles, it's finally done!!! Cam, we're going to New Zealand this August!!! must start checking out where to go...we'll be there for about 10 days...should be enough to cover both islands...but MAS website is pretty discriminative...i had problem booking my flights when i used the status Dr...but i had no problem booking my flights using Ms...it's like the stupidest thing i've ever encountered...really Malaysia Boleh...bloody discriminative idiots!!!
We're celebrating Becky's birthday tonight...single girls night out...hehe...not planning to be out late though...tomorrow on call again...but must at least have a session of moon-gazing tonight...looking at full moon especially on Chap Goh Mei is a thing too romantic to be missed...anyway, Happy Chap Goh Mei...and to all single girls, have fun throwing mandarin oranges into the river...hahahaha...(yours truly will be sleeping early)....
Friday, February 26, 2010
Gauze, NZ, Dim Sum and Beach....damn random or what?
There was an interesting case we saw in clinic yesterday...the HO came in with a fistulogram film and asked boss what he thought was the radiopaque strands on the film...i saw it and asked boss, what is a gauze doing in the patient's abdomen and boss looked a little stunned...anyway he went to look for big boss and some discussion went on....i was called to OT for a toilet mastectomy so i left the clinic and went back to SMC...yea, no surprise that i was on call again last night...
Fast forward a few hours later, i saw the patient in the ward...looked through her old notes and saw that i was one of the GA MO who gave her gas for one of her op...anyway, she was planned for exploration and removal of foreign body...fast forward a few hours later, she was called to OT...unfortunately her BP was a bit too high for the liking of Karen...so the case was postponed...fast forward to this morning, the on call team today went in for op and took out the gauze...i was right about the gauze then...but pity the patient that she had to go through the last few months with fistula caused by the retained gauze...and that she had to undergo another round of GA to remove it...
Anyway, Cam and i were discussing about a trip to New Zealand this August yesterday night... and we've decided on the dates and all...and she booked her tickets online....i planned to book mine today when i got back from the hospital....unfortunately from 1pm till about 3pm i was trying to book my tickets...without success...it just won't let me go to the payment page...despite my trying different internet browsers and all...even as i'm typing now, i'm still trying to book my tickets...no luck so far... what the hell is wrong with the MAS website? i don't care, i'm going to New Zealand whether or not this is a sign that maybe i shouldn't go...
After round this morning, Shirley called me to go for dim sum...i got to know her through her mom... who had quite a long stay in ICU last year...anyway, her mom is back in the hospital...so we went for breakfast and had a good chat...and we ended up talking about guys coz she was thinking of introducing some of her or her husband's guy friends to me...
So anyway, i told her about my ex of 5 years...and about how he really was a great guy and all...but i let him go becoz somehow i no longer felt the love i had for him...and she told me about her first ex...whom she dated for 8 years...she said theirs was a passionate love affair and all...and she actually defied her parents and left everything in Malaysia to go to be with him in London...but in the end she was deeply hurt...coz the guy was having an affair with his colleague...so she came back to Malaysia and had to start all over again...she said her ex woke her up to reality...and she decided that she'd rather have a stable relationship than a passionate love affair...so when she met her husband, she knew he was the stable family man who would give her the kind of life she thought was better for her...she said that being in a passionate love affair is very emotionally draining and tiring...
She said that maybe i prefer 'bad boys' than 'good boys'...so she suggested that i should try dating 'bad boys' so that i can appreciate the better qualities of 'good boys'....i told her that i've dated 'bad boys' before back in high school and even in uni....and i agreed that it was emotionally draining....what i didn't tell her though, was that recently i did the same again....and ended up hurt as well...Shirley said that maybe i wasn't hurt deep enough, that's why i never learnt...but i supposed different people allow themselves to suffer different depth of hurt...and i guess i always shield my heart from feeling the real extent of the hurt i'm supposed to be feeling coz it's just too painful and i can't bear it...
After i gave up on booking the tics, i slept for like 15 mins and Pang called...he said it was time to send him and Sharon to the airport...i was like, it's only 315pm, your flight is at 5pm, i'll come by 345pm to pick you guys up....i tried sleeping for a while some more...about 15 mins later Pang called again...Sharon was afraid they'd be late for check-in...so i dragged myself out of bed and went to pick them up...got them there before 4pm...was on the way to buy a cake for Becky since cell meeting tonight we're celebrating her birthday...
Pang called while i was driving and said that their flight was actually rescheduled to 7pm...i was like, what? so i went to pick them up and we went for a drink at Tg Aru First Beach....at that Mediterranean Bar and Restaurant...boy, i missed watching the beach...it was a good thing i guess...but it was a bit too warm...and we couldn't sit till the sun set...but it was still good to be able to catch up with Pang and Sharon....
I was telling them about Pei's STPM results...we all agreed that perhaps her results would have saved her from going through the misery that we call life...or more like the lack of it...all of us have been so busy that we've hardly seen our friends as often as we would like to...not to say that i regret the path i chose...but perhaps it's just human to think that there must be more to life than just my work...i supposed you need a certain degree of masochism to fit into such profession....
Anyhow, i'm so dreading going through cell tonight...i'm just not in the mood for cell...i just can't run coz we're having it at my place...urgh!!! Lord, help me....sigh...it's time to go...
Fast forward a few hours later, i saw the patient in the ward...looked through her old notes and saw that i was one of the GA MO who gave her gas for one of her op...anyway, she was planned for exploration and removal of foreign body...fast forward a few hours later, she was called to OT...unfortunately her BP was a bit too high for the liking of Karen...so the case was postponed...fast forward to this morning, the on call team today went in for op and took out the gauze...i was right about the gauze then...but pity the patient that she had to go through the last few months with fistula caused by the retained gauze...and that she had to undergo another round of GA to remove it...
Anyway, Cam and i were discussing about a trip to New Zealand this August yesterday night... and we've decided on the dates and all...and she booked her tickets online....i planned to book mine today when i got back from the hospital....unfortunately from 1pm till about 3pm i was trying to book my tickets...without success...it just won't let me go to the payment page...despite my trying different internet browsers and all...even as i'm typing now, i'm still trying to book my tickets...no luck so far... what the hell is wrong with the MAS website? i don't care, i'm going to New Zealand whether or not this is a sign that maybe i shouldn't go...
After round this morning, Shirley called me to go for dim sum...i got to know her through her mom... who had quite a long stay in ICU last year...anyway, her mom is back in the hospital...so we went for breakfast and had a good chat...and we ended up talking about guys coz she was thinking of introducing some of her or her husband's guy friends to me...
So anyway, i told her about my ex of 5 years...and about how he really was a great guy and all...but i let him go becoz somehow i no longer felt the love i had for him...and she told me about her first ex...whom she dated for 8 years...she said theirs was a passionate love affair and all...and she actually defied her parents and left everything in Malaysia to go to be with him in London...but in the end she was deeply hurt...coz the guy was having an affair with his colleague...so she came back to Malaysia and had to start all over again...she said her ex woke her up to reality...and she decided that she'd rather have a stable relationship than a passionate love affair...so when she met her husband, she knew he was the stable family man who would give her the kind of life she thought was better for her...she said that being in a passionate love affair is very emotionally draining and tiring...
She said that maybe i prefer 'bad boys' than 'good boys'...so she suggested that i should try dating 'bad boys' so that i can appreciate the better qualities of 'good boys'....i told her that i've dated 'bad boys' before back in high school and even in uni....and i agreed that it was emotionally draining....what i didn't tell her though, was that recently i did the same again....and ended up hurt as well...Shirley said that maybe i wasn't hurt deep enough, that's why i never learnt...but i supposed different people allow themselves to suffer different depth of hurt...and i guess i always shield my heart from feeling the real extent of the hurt i'm supposed to be feeling coz it's just too painful and i can't bear it...
After i gave up on booking the tics, i slept for like 15 mins and Pang called...he said it was time to send him and Sharon to the airport...i was like, it's only 315pm, your flight is at 5pm, i'll come by 345pm to pick you guys up....i tried sleeping for a while some more...about 15 mins later Pang called again...Sharon was afraid they'd be late for check-in...so i dragged myself out of bed and went to pick them up...got them there before 4pm...was on the way to buy a cake for Becky since cell meeting tonight we're celebrating her birthday...
Pang called while i was driving and said that their flight was actually rescheduled to 7pm...i was like, what? so i went to pick them up and we went for a drink at Tg Aru First Beach....at that Mediterranean Bar and Restaurant...boy, i missed watching the beach...it was a good thing i guess...but it was a bit too warm...and we couldn't sit till the sun set...but it was still good to be able to catch up with Pang and Sharon....
I was telling them about Pei's STPM results...we all agreed that perhaps her results would have saved her from going through the misery that we call life...or more like the lack of it...all of us have been so busy that we've hardly seen our friends as often as we would like to...not to say that i regret the path i chose...but perhaps it's just human to think that there must be more to life than just my work...i supposed you need a certain degree of masochism to fit into such profession....
Anyhow, i'm so dreading going through cell tonight...i'm just not in the mood for cell...i just can't run coz we're having it at my place...urgh!!! Lord, help me....sigh...it's time to go...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Am i going to get bleeding calls like...always?
So i was on call again yesterday...Queen call...and my phone was ringing the whole day as expected..good thing most referrals are for clinic appointments only....but about 5pm, casualty called and referred a UGIB...83 year-old uncle...so i went to see the patient...turned out i actually knew this uncle...my last call in Queen before the CNY break, this uncle insisted on AOR...he was under urology...anyway, boss asked to stabilize him and bring him up to scope room for urgent OGDS since he was still up there...
Took us 1 hour to finally got him up to scope room...again, don't ask me why it took so long...anyway, boss scoped the uncle...huge Forrest IIc ulcer at incisura and huge Forrest III ulcer at D1...but unable to pass through to D2...since no active bleeding so we admitted him to ward for observation and transfusion....then there were a few patients from district...and from the other wards...so after boss went to Likas for some referrals, he came back to Queen for on call rounds and we saw the referrals... i was in the hospital till 11pm...sans dinner...
Went home to bathe...ate maggi and choc cookies for dinner/supper...just when i was about to fall asleep, Pang called regarding one patient's SPC (or the lack of it)...but God bless Pang for settling it for me...so i slept for a while....but about 4am, the phone calls start coming again...2 appendices...and a bleeding AVF...i was like...right...i couldn't help feeling that perhaps i was meant to lead a life of difficulty and suffering...like...always...i supposed 1 great call is about all i'll ever get lah...
So i went to see the bleeding AVF patient...1st time i've ever seen one actually...ever seen a burst pipe with the water spurting out in high pressure? that's pretty much how a bleeding AVF is...so i called boss to ask him what to do...and he said to suture up the skin to cover the defect...i was like..ok...so i went on with my impossible task...the patient taught me where to apply the tourniquet so i could temporarily stop the bleeding while i suture up the defect...took me a few tries coz the skin was very fragile...and nylon is damn slippery...but finally after putting 2 figure of 8 sutures, i managed to stop the bleeding...wow!!! amazing....it worked...at least i didn't have to call boss to come and settle the mess...thank God...
On a side note, i've started my yoghurt and cereal diet regime...i'm sick of having to think og where to go for dinner...and since cooking is too much a hassle...this should be ideal for me...especially since i hardly have the time or energy to workout...hopefully i can maintain this for the next few months...we'll see if there's any difference after this...
Took us 1 hour to finally got him up to scope room...again, don't ask me why it took so long...anyway, boss scoped the uncle...huge Forrest IIc ulcer at incisura and huge Forrest III ulcer at D1...but unable to pass through to D2...since no active bleeding so we admitted him to ward for observation and transfusion....then there were a few patients from district...and from the other wards...so after boss went to Likas for some referrals, he came back to Queen for on call rounds and we saw the referrals... i was in the hospital till 11pm...sans dinner...
Went home to bathe...ate maggi and choc cookies for dinner/supper...just when i was about to fall asleep, Pang called regarding one patient's SPC (or the lack of it)...but God bless Pang for settling it for me...so i slept for a while....but about 4am, the phone calls start coming again...2 appendices...and a bleeding AVF...i was like...right...i couldn't help feeling that perhaps i was meant to lead a life of difficulty and suffering...like...always...i supposed 1 great call is about all i'll ever get lah...
So i went to see the bleeding AVF patient...1st time i've ever seen one actually...ever seen a burst pipe with the water spurting out in high pressure? that's pretty much how a bleeding AVF is...so i called boss to ask him what to do...and he said to suture up the skin to cover the defect...i was like..ok...so i went on with my impossible task...the patient taught me where to apply the tourniquet so i could temporarily stop the bleeding while i suture up the defect...took me a few tries coz the skin was very fragile...and nylon is damn slippery...but finally after putting 2 figure of 8 sutures, i managed to stop the bleeding...wow!!! amazing....it worked...at least i didn't have to call boss to come and settle the mess...thank God...
On a side note, i've started my yoghurt and cereal diet regime...i'm sick of having to think og where to go for dinner...and since cooking is too much a hassle...this should be ideal for me...especially since i hardly have the time or energy to workout...hopefully i can maintain this for the next few months...we'll see if there's any difference after this...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Great call last night...
I have to say that i had a great call last night...i only went into OT once for one case throughout the day...well, it was a chemoport insertion and we had a difficult time cannulating the subclavian vein... even the internal jugular vein we had to puncture a few times before we got it in...and so the patient ended up having pneumothorax...but he was so stable throughout the night...and there were only few admissions...there was a neuro scare though...one of the post op neuro patient was complaining of facial and periphery numbness...the HO noticed that her calcium level was very low...1.52....i was like, and they just let it go all this while? so we gave her IV calcium gluconate and T. calcium lactate stat...her ECG had the classic prolonged QT interval...i was so worried she was gonna go into some arrhythmia...but thankfully she didn't...
The last admission came in about 2am...one of our old patients...who refused BKA even though we told him his leg was dead...he actually discharged AOR...he only came back last night coz he couldn't stand the pain of a dead limb...quite pissed so i just told the HO to start him on antibiotics... didn't go up to see him...but then i think i felt bad about it so i couldn't sleep well the rest of the night...so in the end, although i had a great call, i still didn't have a great sleep...crap!!!
Anyway, i was out for dinner with Connie and Becky at Upperstar Lintas just now...it was good time to catch up...since we haven't got together for quite some time...so i told them about 'my Adelaide Affair' (i thought this would make a good title for my book, if i ever got around writing it, hehe) which they had been dying to hear about...and Connie said it was like a romantic drama comedy....well, actually the whole story was damn funny lah...if you're not the one being spurned...but even i can still laugh at the absurdity of it all...
By the way, i just finished reading "Agnes Grey" by Anne Bronte...while i was back in KL i noticed a few classics stashed away in one of the glass cupboard...i was asking Pei who bought those...coz i didn't remember buying and reading them...but Pei said the books have been there for a while and she didn't buy them...hmmm..strange...but good for me coz i took one of it and read...though reading old English can be quite a challenge...don't really understand some of the sentences but i supposed i got the gist of the book...
Agnes Grey is a story about a young girl who set out to be a governess but who met with the harsh reality of the worlds of rich, spoilt brats and their unreasonable parents...she met a nice 'curate of a parish' (whatever that means) when she became the governess of 2 young ladies....and her accounts of how she fell in love with him and how she never told anyone close to her about it really reminds me of how i used to be...i supposed i'm still like that in a way...if i really like someone, i usually keep it a secret...won't dare to tell a soul...won't even dare to show any hint to the guy that i like him...except that these days, i can't seem to find a guy that i might like...well, Agnes Grey thought that she might lead a life of spinsterhood and die alone but she ended up marrying the guy she was in love with...perhaps i too may dare to dream that that could happen to me...
The last admission came in about 2am...one of our old patients...who refused BKA even though we told him his leg was dead...he actually discharged AOR...he only came back last night coz he couldn't stand the pain of a dead limb...quite pissed so i just told the HO to start him on antibiotics... didn't go up to see him...but then i think i felt bad about it so i couldn't sleep well the rest of the night...so in the end, although i had a great call, i still didn't have a great sleep...crap!!!
Anyway, i was out for dinner with Connie and Becky at Upperstar Lintas just now...it was good time to catch up...since we haven't got together for quite some time...so i told them about 'my Adelaide Affair' (i thought this would make a good title for my book, if i ever got around writing it, hehe) which they had been dying to hear about...and Connie said it was like a romantic drama comedy....well, actually the whole story was damn funny lah...if you're not the one being spurned...but even i can still laugh at the absurdity of it all...
By the way, i just finished reading "Agnes Grey" by Anne Bronte...while i was back in KL i noticed a few classics stashed away in one of the glass cupboard...i was asking Pei who bought those...coz i didn't remember buying and reading them...but Pei said the books have been there for a while and she didn't buy them...hmmm..strange...but good for me coz i took one of it and read...though reading old English can be quite a challenge...don't really understand some of the sentences but i supposed i got the gist of the book...
Agnes Grey is a story about a young girl who set out to be a governess but who met with the harsh reality of the worlds of rich, spoilt brats and their unreasonable parents...she met a nice 'curate of a parish' (whatever that means) when she became the governess of 2 young ladies....and her accounts of how she fell in love with him and how she never told anyone close to her about it really reminds me of how i used to be...i supposed i'm still like that in a way...if i really like someone, i usually keep it a secret...won't dare to tell a soul...won't even dare to show any hint to the guy that i like him...except that these days, i can't seem to find a guy that i might like...well, Agnes Grey thought that she might lead a life of spinsterhood and die alone but she ended up marrying the guy she was in love with...perhaps i too may dare to dream that that could happen to me...
Friday, February 19, 2010
新年了。。你快乐么?
忽然想用中文写出我的感觉。。昨晚很想大哭一场。。但哭不出了。。我真的没什么好哭么? 还是隐藏了太久所有悲伤? 所以已经不会真真得哭? 虽然没哭到天亮，不过也不能沉睡。。心情不安。。脚又很痒。。让我今天那么累。。还好早回家。。睡了两小时。。又怕今晚不能睡。。还好吃了piriton, 就能睡了。。明天又on call了。。应该早点睡。。晚安了。。希望你们的新年都会快快乐乐。。
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Another round of post-holiday blues...
Yea, i'm back in KK...just got back tonight...and totally feeling the post-holiday blues...it's back to work for me tomorrow...and i really hate that sinking feeling...i supposed this is akin to how depressive people feel when they 'sink' into depression...but i don't even have a depressive trait...
I was looking forward to going back to KL for a break...but the holiday mood was clouded by my granny's hospitalization...and yet i don't exactly want to come back to KK and start working...i just feel like running away and hide...to someplace where no one knows who i am...
The only silver lining to the cloud this time round back to KL is that my niece Sylvia no longer dislikes me...in fact, she loves me...she was calling me over and over again...telling me about this and that.. asking me to sit with her...she would even hug and kiss me...and we'd watch dvd together...dang!!! i miss her already...
I know that i've a lot to be thankful for...but at the moment i just wanna curl up in bed and bawl...for things i haven't really grieved about...for things that i pretend as if they never happened...for all the times i didn't cry when i should have......and tomorrow will be another day....
I was looking forward to going back to KL for a break...but the holiday mood was clouded by my granny's hospitalization...and yet i don't exactly want to come back to KK and start working...i just feel like running away and hide...to someplace where no one knows who i am...
The only silver lining to the cloud this time round back to KL is that my niece Sylvia no longer dislikes me...in fact, she loves me...she was calling me over and over again...telling me about this and that.. asking me to sit with her...she would even hug and kiss me...and we'd watch dvd together...dang!!! i miss her already...
I know that i've a lot to be thankful for...but at the moment i just wanna curl up in bed and bawl...for things i haven't really grieved about...for things that i pretend as if they never happened...for all the times i didn't cry when i should have......and tomorrow will be another day....
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A twist of fate....
I was expecting today to be just another boring Wednesday where i'll laze around at home...no offense to people with active social lives but i actually like lazing around at home doing nothing... but just when i was about to have lunch (we were having ready made spagetthi carbonara at home), Twink called me and asked me if i wanted to catch a movie...she wanted to watch Valentine's Day...i was like...er...i'm not really in the mood for a Valentine movie...i'd rather be watching Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief...
So i checked the movie schedules...initially we were supposed to watch at mid valley but apparently Twink drove past mid valley and saw that the parking areas were all full...so change of venue..she suggested Tropicana City Mall...they were playing Valentine's Day at 355pm and Percy Jackson at 440pm...since Twink wanted to watch Valentine's Day so she said she'll come pick me up about 315pm...and i dragged Pei along since she hasn't been to Tropicana City Mall as well...
Twink came to pick us up about 320pm...and she was driving happily to Tropicana City Mall untill we reached Jaya One and then she was like...OH NO!!! i drove to the wrong mall...and we all burst out laughing....hahahaha...apparently Twink thought Tropicana City Mall was where Jaya One was... so we were trying to find our way to the real Tropicana...Twink called Rudi aka the boyfriend for directions..no luck there...she called her dad...no luck there as well...so we were driving around and suddenly we saw banners showing Tropicana City Mall...
So we followed the banners and managed to reach there about 405pm...got to the GSC but by the time we got to the ticket counters it was too late for Valentine's Day...yes!!!! so we had to watch Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief after all...prior to going out, i actually typed in my FB status that i was going for Valentine's Day...God help me!!! so He heard my call for help after all....thank You Lord...anyway, Percy Jackson wasn't that great...acting was awkward...lines were cliche...but interesting lessons on Greek Mythology...
After that, Twink dropped us off to meet my family for dinner at Midah....then Kit Yin called to go for a drink...but we ended up just chatting at my place...it was good to catch up with old friends...then i came online and saw all my inquisitive guy friends leaving comments on my FB status...from wishing me good luck to asking me who's the guy...seriously, if i was going for a belated Valentine's day date, would i bother announcing on FB? i didn't even realize my status implied anything of that sort...and i thought i was the one with wild imagination...
Anyway, it's time to go back to KK tomorrow evening...sigh...i haven't had enough of staying at home and doing nothing yet...oh well, life goes on...just have to grit my teeth and work through each day till my next holiday...whenever that will be...
So i checked the movie schedules...initially we were supposed to watch at mid valley but apparently Twink drove past mid valley and saw that the parking areas were all full...so change of venue..she suggested Tropicana City Mall...they were playing Valentine's Day at 355pm and Percy Jackson at 440pm...since Twink wanted to watch Valentine's Day so she said she'll come pick me up about 315pm...and i dragged Pei along since she hasn't been to Tropicana City Mall as well...
Twink came to pick us up about 320pm...and she was driving happily to Tropicana City Mall untill we reached Jaya One and then she was like...OH NO!!! i drove to the wrong mall...and we all burst out laughing....hahahaha...apparently Twink thought Tropicana City Mall was where Jaya One was... so we were trying to find our way to the real Tropicana...Twink called Rudi aka the boyfriend for directions..no luck there...she called her dad...no luck there as well...so we were driving around and suddenly we saw banners showing Tropicana City Mall...
So we followed the banners and managed to reach there about 405pm...got to the GSC but by the time we got to the ticket counters it was too late for Valentine's Day...yes!!!! so we had to watch Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief after all...prior to going out, i actually typed in my FB status that i was going for Valentine's Day...God help me!!! so He heard my call for help after all....thank You Lord...anyway, Percy Jackson wasn't that great...acting was awkward...lines were cliche...but interesting lessons on Greek Mythology...
After that, Twink dropped us off to meet my family for dinner at Midah....then Kit Yin called to go for a drink...but we ended up just chatting at my place...it was good to catch up with old friends...then i came online and saw all my inquisitive guy friends leaving comments on my FB status...from wishing me good luck to asking me who's the guy...seriously, if i was going for a belated Valentine's day date, would i bother announcing on FB? i didn't even realize my status implied anything of that sort...and i thought i was the one with wild imagination...
Anyway, it's time to go back to KK tomorrow evening...sigh...i haven't had enough of staying at home and doing nothing yet...oh well, life goes on...just have to grit my teeth and work through each day till my next holiday...whenever that will be...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
What a Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day...
So this Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day was quite a good reflection of the inadequacy of my social life...and i ended up spending it in the hospital anyway, despite the fact that i was back in KL... there i was, hoping to have a good rest from anything remotely medical when i'm back in KL, but i guess you can't run away from your calling huh?
(Maybe i'm getting delusional, but someone up there might not want me to post this...i finished the damn post only to find out i couldn't publish it coz the net was down...so now i have to restart from here...bugger!!)
We were having reunion dinner at my cousin's house...and i was just about to start enjoying my dinner when my aunty called me to check on my grandma...it appeared that she was choking...so i went and saw her turning blue...i was like shit!!! this isn't happening...short of cricothyroidotomy, we tried every non-invasive technique i could remember to try to dislodge the obstructed food particles but she only seemed to turn bluer by the second...thankfully, she started gasping...but she was having stridor which meant she was still pretty obstructed...so we had no choice but to bring her to the nearest medical centre which is a private one...
At the private medical centre, the locum doctor managed to suck out some huge slices of mushroom and she seemed to be breathing better...but her saturation was still fluctuating...the doctor was convinced that my granny had another stroke which caused her to choke...but knowing my granny, she was just stuffing food in her mouth and trying to swallow mushrooms in whole (she already has some dysphagia problem to begin with after her last stroke)...the doctor was planning for intubation in case her saturation dropped further but they couldn't put in an IV line for granny...initially i refrained myself from interfering but i wasn't about to let granny get hypoxic brain damage just coz some private medical centre nurses and locum doctor couldn't get IV access for granny...so i managed to put in an IV line on her leg before they managed to waste more IV brannulas and charge us for them...
But i wasn't really convinced that granny had another stroke and that she required intubation...her GCS was still about 11/15...and after they put in a Ryle's tube and suctioned her gastric contents, she vomited out another huge slice of mushroom and ta-da....no more obstruction...phew!!! my cousin Sam must have been praying fervently...thank God for His mercy...the doctor then said he was referring us to either another private hospital or a semi-government one for CT brain...so we opted for the semi-govenment hospital since the particular stint at this private medical centre has set us back RM600...
And the ambulance service cost us another RM150...so we reached the hospital about 1030pm...apparently if one of your relative is a medical staff, you get better and faster service...but between you and i, that's bollocks!!! to settle registration, blood investigations, CXR, ECG and CT brain, they took about 5 hours before granny was admitted...there were at least 5 doctors in the resuscitation hall (not sure if they had to run between that and the acute room next door) and about 5-6 patients...i supposed i should just shut up and never to complain about Queen anymore...coz considering that we have less doctors and a whole lot more patients in our casualty at each shift, we are doing a damn good job already...
While we were enduring the gruelling wait, i was watching "Casanova" on tv...Heath Ledger made a fine Casanova...how's that for an original Valentine's day activity huh? hahahaha....so finally granny was sent up to the geriartric ward at 13th floor at about 330am...they were treating her as aspiration pneumonia...so after settling down, i stayed to accompany granny till the others return during the day...it was like doing my 6th consecutive EOD...except that it was a little worse...coz i didn't have a bed to sleep in...and my 'patient' woke up every hour...really felt like asking for dormicum or alprazolam...but i made it to sunrise...and waited till noon before my parents came to relieve me...i was quite hungry and grouchy by then...
Spending the night at the hospital was the last thing on my mind when i came home for my CNY break... but i guess God always have other plans for us...anyway, granny has enough grandchildren to rotate as caregiver for her...you don't need to be a medical staff to be a caregiver...you just need to have plenty of love and compassion...which i think is much lacking among the ward staffs...and i need whatever little break i have to survive another stretch of EODs for God-knows how long...
Anyhow, Happy Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day...oh well, it's just another Sunday...(dang!! i'm sounding more and more jaded)
(Maybe i'm getting delusional, but someone up there might not want me to post this...i finished the damn post only to find out i couldn't publish it coz the net was down...so now i have to restart from here...bugger!!)
We were having reunion dinner at my cousin's house...and i was just about to start enjoying my dinner when my aunty called me to check on my grandma...it appeared that she was choking...so i went and saw her turning blue...i was like shit!!! this isn't happening...short of cricothyroidotomy, we tried every non-invasive technique i could remember to try to dislodge the obstructed food particles but she only seemed to turn bluer by the second...thankfully, she started gasping...but she was having stridor which meant she was still pretty obstructed...so we had no choice but to bring her to the nearest medical centre which is a private one...
At the private medical centre, the locum doctor managed to suck out some huge slices of mushroom and she seemed to be breathing better...but her saturation was still fluctuating...the doctor was convinced that my granny had another stroke which caused her to choke...but knowing my granny, she was just stuffing food in her mouth and trying to swallow mushrooms in whole (she already has some dysphagia problem to begin with after her last stroke)...the doctor was planning for intubation in case her saturation dropped further but they couldn't put in an IV line for granny...initially i refrained myself from interfering but i wasn't about to let granny get hypoxic brain damage just coz some private medical centre nurses and locum doctor couldn't get IV access for granny...so i managed to put in an IV line on her leg before they managed to waste more IV brannulas and charge us for them...
But i wasn't really convinced that granny had another stroke and that she required intubation...her GCS was still about 11/15...and after they put in a Ryle's tube and suctioned her gastric contents, she vomited out another huge slice of mushroom and ta-da....no more obstruction...phew!!! my cousin Sam must have been praying fervently...thank God for His mercy...the doctor then said he was referring us to either another private hospital or a semi-government one for CT brain...so we opted for the semi-govenment hospital since the particular stint at this private medical centre has set us back RM600...
And the ambulance service cost us another RM150...so we reached the hospital about 1030pm...apparently if one of your relative is a medical staff, you get better and faster service...but between you and i, that's bollocks!!! to settle registration, blood investigations, CXR, ECG and CT brain, they took about 5 hours before granny was admitted...there were at least 5 doctors in the resuscitation hall (not sure if they had to run between that and the acute room next door) and about 5-6 patients...i supposed i should just shut up and never to complain about Queen anymore...coz considering that we have less doctors and a whole lot more patients in our casualty at each shift, we are doing a damn good job already...
While we were enduring the gruelling wait, i was watching "Casanova" on tv...Heath Ledger made a fine Casanova...how's that for an original Valentine's day activity huh? hahahaha....so finally granny was sent up to the geriartric ward at 13th floor at about 330am...they were treating her as aspiration pneumonia...so after settling down, i stayed to accompany granny till the others return during the day...it was like doing my 6th consecutive EOD...except that it was a little worse...coz i didn't have a bed to sleep in...and my 'patient' woke up every hour...really felt like asking for dormicum or alprazolam...but i made it to sunrise...and waited till noon before my parents came to relieve me...i was quite hungry and grouchy by then...
Spending the night at the hospital was the last thing on my mind when i came home for my CNY break... but i guess God always have other plans for us...anyway, granny has enough grandchildren to rotate as caregiver for her...you don't need to be a medical staff to be a caregiver...you just need to have plenty of love and compassion...which i think is much lacking among the ward staffs...and i need whatever little break i have to survive another stretch of EODs for God-knows how long...
Anyhow, Happy Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day...oh well, it's just another Sunday...(dang!! i'm sounding more and more jaded)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A call of wrong diagnoses...
So i was on call again yesterday...yea, my housemen kept commenting that i'm on call too often...so do the OT staffs...and i couldn't agree more...but that was only my 4th consecutive EODs...i still have another call tomorrow before i can go home and enjoy my Chinese New Year hols...
Anyway, there weren't too many cases yesterday...in fact, there were only 2 surgery cases...one was supposedly an acute appendicitis....the girl had quite a thick abdominal wall...and i had quite a hard time just trying to get to her peritoneum....and when i finally did, i had problem locating the appendix... so i had to SOS Chan for help...finally we found the tiny little appendix drowned in the sea of peritoneal fat...and...it was white!!! dang!!! quite embarrassing...couldn't even find a white appendix...bah!!!
Then at night, there was another supposedly perforated appendix....i opened up at 11pm...the guy was thin so i reached the peritoneum easily...but somehow i couldn't seem to breach the peritoneum...or so i thought...so Chan ended up coming in...he also had problem so we converted to a midline incision...and we realized why we couldn't seem to breach the peritoneum...we had actually breached the peritoneum...but the whole abdomen was covered with dense adhesion...why? that was beyond us...but it was definitely not the appendix's fault...and we had a hard time doing adhesiolysis...we finally finished about 230am...
We ta pau-ed another appendix...coz we weren't gonna risk another wrong diagnosis...2 for the day was more than enough....and all the while i thought my appendicectomy skill was getting from bad to worse...first cannot find a white appendix...then cannot even breach the peritoneum...i was telling my houseman i felt so discouraged...:(...but i guess we learn new things everyday huh? Lord, just help me to survive my next call tomorrow...and i'll be coming back home...to KL that is...
Anyway, there weren't too many cases yesterday...in fact, there were only 2 surgery cases...one was supposedly an acute appendicitis....the girl had quite a thick abdominal wall...and i had quite a hard time just trying to get to her peritoneum....and when i finally did, i had problem locating the appendix... so i had to SOS Chan for help...finally we found the tiny little appendix drowned in the sea of peritoneal fat...and...it was white!!! dang!!! quite embarrassing...couldn't even find a white appendix...bah!!!
Then at night, there was another supposedly perforated appendix....i opened up at 11pm...the guy was thin so i reached the peritoneum easily...but somehow i couldn't seem to breach the peritoneum...or so i thought...so Chan ended up coming in...he also had problem so we converted to a midline incision...and we realized why we couldn't seem to breach the peritoneum...we had actually breached the peritoneum...but the whole abdomen was covered with dense adhesion...why? that was beyond us...but it was definitely not the appendix's fault...and we had a hard time doing adhesiolysis...we finally finished about 230am...
We ta pau-ed another appendix...coz we weren't gonna risk another wrong diagnosis...2 for the day was more than enough....and all the while i thought my appendicectomy skill was getting from bad to worse...first cannot find a white appendix...then cannot even breach the peritoneum...i was telling my houseman i felt so discouraged...:(...but i guess we learn new things everyday huh? Lord, just help me to survive my next call tomorrow...and i'll be coming back home...to KL that is...
Saturday, February 6, 2010
When tragedy strikes...
I was on call yesterday....it wasn't too bad a call....did 2 appendicectomies and an I & D...assisted in a laparotomy and AKA...finished my last case about 1am...then i overheard the OT staffs mentioning about a bus being involved in an accident near Tg Aru...there were 20 passengers in the bus and the accident occurred at about 1230am....
So i was bracing myself for an onslaught of admissions...but i didn't receive any calls from the people in Queen side...so about 2am, just as i was about to fall asleep, Chan called me and asked me if i heard about the bad accident (Chan was my 2nd call)...and i said i only heard about the bus accident...but i didn't know if there was any other vehicle involved...and he blurted out that 3 housemen died in the accident...at first i was wondering why were the housemen in the bus..then Chan said there were 4 of them in the car...
Chan mentioned the names of the 2 guys and i gasped involuntarily...i didn't personally know them but our paths had crossed at least once...the only survivor in the car was a female houseman who escaped with a right clavicle fracture and right hip fracture-dislocation...and a lifetime of trauma i suppose...according to eyewitnesses (there was another group of housemen in another car following the car), the driver drove very fast...and he was driving his convertible with the roof down...when the other car reached the accident scene, they saw the convertible car overturned and was a heap of scrap metal...and the bus was overturned as well...
I was so shocked after receiving Chan's call that i couldn't fall asleep again...my mind was in overdrive...suddenly i was so aware of my mortality...i was thinking that it could have been me...one of these days when i'm post call and have been working for more than 36 hours straight, i might just doze off while i was driving home and never wake up again...and i kept thinking about how the families of the deceased housemen would receive the news...their parents would be so crushed...and i thought of how i would react if i were the one receiving the news...scared the sleep out of me....but somehow i guess i drifted off into a fitful sleep...
I was awakened by my houseman to inform me that one of my appendicectomy was desaturating... i went to see the patient...her saturation was about 94% on air...which was her baseline in OT...she was in pain...gave her some oxygen and pain killer...her saturation picked up to 100% and her pain reduced...but i can't help worrying that something might be going on in her abdomen...praying hard that i didn't perforate any bowel or the tie didn't slip from the stump...
Then i saw the female houseman who was admitted under orthopaedic...she seemed stable...apparently, while i was sitting in front with the other housemen who came to visit this female houseman, another ortho patient collapsed in the room at the other end...i didn't even realized it...coz no one called for help...suddenly Kevin the GA MO on call walked in and asked if the ortho HO referred any patient...i thought it was the female houseman...then suddenly one of the houseman who was visiting the female houseman told me that there was an ortho patient who collapsed and the ortho HOs were resuscitating the patient...
Then i saw the ortho MO on call walking in and to the back room...so i went to see what was happening...i asked the nurse if the patient was a DNR patient...she said no...so i asked her why aren't they resuscitating the patient...apparently the ortho HOs have been doing CPR for about 30 mins...i couldn't help wondering why they didn't call out when the patient collapsed...are the ortho HOs not allowed to call for help from a surgical MO although she was in the ward? am i not supposed to help resuscitate the patient since she wasn't my patient? the patient wasn't revived...may God bless her soul...
When deaths occur, i tend to ask God why...and my God-complex gets activated...i can't help thinking if the deaths could have been avoided...but i guess only God can determine the life and death of a person...but i can't help feeling that those 3 housemen's death were utterly unnecessary and avoidable...but all is too late now...may God bless their souls...and comfort their families and friends...grief can be such a horrible state to endure...
So i was bracing myself for an onslaught of admissions...but i didn't receive any calls from the people in Queen side...so about 2am, just as i was about to fall asleep, Chan called me and asked me if i heard about the bad accident (Chan was my 2nd call)...and i said i only heard about the bus accident...but i didn't know if there was any other vehicle involved...and he blurted out that 3 housemen died in the accident...at first i was wondering why were the housemen in the bus..then Chan said there were 4 of them in the car...
Chan mentioned the names of the 2 guys and i gasped involuntarily...i didn't personally know them but our paths had crossed at least once...the only survivor in the car was a female houseman who escaped with a right clavicle fracture and right hip fracture-dislocation...and a lifetime of trauma i suppose...according to eyewitnesses (there was another group of housemen in another car following the car), the driver drove very fast...and he was driving his convertible with the roof down...when the other car reached the accident scene, they saw the convertible car overturned and was a heap of scrap metal...and the bus was overturned as well...
I was so shocked after receiving Chan's call that i couldn't fall asleep again...my mind was in overdrive...suddenly i was so aware of my mortality...i was thinking that it could have been me...one of these days when i'm post call and have been working for more than 36 hours straight, i might just doze off while i was driving home and never wake up again...and i kept thinking about how the families of the deceased housemen would receive the news...their parents would be so crushed...and i thought of how i would react if i were the one receiving the news...scared the sleep out of me....but somehow i guess i drifted off into a fitful sleep...
I was awakened by my houseman to inform me that one of my appendicectomy was desaturating... i went to see the patient...her saturation was about 94% on air...which was her baseline in OT...she was in pain...gave her some oxygen and pain killer...her saturation picked up to 100% and her pain reduced...but i can't help worrying that something might be going on in her abdomen...praying hard that i didn't perforate any bowel or the tie didn't slip from the stump...
Then i saw the female houseman who was admitted under orthopaedic...she seemed stable...apparently, while i was sitting in front with the other housemen who came to visit this female houseman, another ortho patient collapsed in the room at the other end...i didn't even realized it...coz no one called for help...suddenly Kevin the GA MO on call walked in and asked if the ortho HO referred any patient...i thought it was the female houseman...then suddenly one of the houseman who was visiting the female houseman told me that there was an ortho patient who collapsed and the ortho HOs were resuscitating the patient...
Then i saw the ortho MO on call walking in and to the back room...so i went to see what was happening...i asked the nurse if the patient was a DNR patient...she said no...so i asked her why aren't they resuscitating the patient...apparently the ortho HOs have been doing CPR for about 30 mins...i couldn't help wondering why they didn't call out when the patient collapsed...are the ortho HOs not allowed to call for help from a surgical MO although she was in the ward? am i not supposed to help resuscitate the patient since she wasn't my patient? the patient wasn't revived...may God bless her soul...
When deaths occur, i tend to ask God why...and my God-complex gets activated...i can't help thinking if the deaths could have been avoided...but i guess only God can determine the life and death of a person...but i can't help feeling that those 3 housemen's death were utterly unnecessary and avoidable...but all is too late now...may God bless their souls...and comfort their families and friends...grief can be such a horrible state to endure...
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Going for wedding gown shopping...
I was post call yesterday...managed to sleep about 4 hours during my call...was in OT practically the whole of Sunday...even missed the makan that some of my colleagues organized...but the guys were very kind...they ta pau-ed and brought food for us on call ppl...so boss, Saidah and i had our dinner at about 11pm...was so hungry and tired...and the food tasted so good...hehe...
Was awakened at about 7am yesterday morning for an appendicectomy...i asked one of the HO to tell boss that i'd be in OT...halfway through the op, boss kept calling...but didn't manage to answer...finished my appendicectomy and rushed up to elective OT...praying hard there'll be no leak or infection for the guy...anyway, my bosses thought i was dead or kidnapped and they kidded that they were planning to call the cops to report for missing person...apparently the HO didn't tell boss that i was in OT coz boss didn't ask him where i was...hmmm...
So i was in OT the whole day yesterday....assisted in an anterior resection with defunctioning ileostomy and chemoport insertion which lasted 4 hours plus...it was fun...but my back was aching quite a bit after the op...OT finished about 7pm...but i went out earlier to do pm rounds...by the time i left the hospital it was about 8pm...
Elaine called me just before i left the hospital...she was bitching about the Kudat incident...hehe...so we talked for a while...then i had dinner at the Olde Station...then went home...just as i reached home, i got a msg from Elaine...saying that she needs my help to go wedding gown shopping in March or April...suddenly i was so excited, i totally forgot that i was dead tired...hehe...i just love shopping for wedding gown..even if it's not for myself...the last time i shopped for wedding gown was for my elder sister when she got married almost 4 years ago...finally i have another chance to go wedding gown shopping again...yay!!!
Well, so now besides my chinese new year break, i'll have Elaine's wedding gown shopping to look forward to...yea, i know...i'm so sad...i have to look forward to shopping for wedding gown for other ppl since i won't be shopping for mine anytime soon..;P...still, i can't wait for Elaine to come back to KK so that we can go wedding gown shopping...and have more frequent Chinese tuition sessions in karaoke...hehe...
Was awakened at about 7am yesterday morning for an appendicectomy...i asked one of the HO to tell boss that i'd be in OT...halfway through the op, boss kept calling...but didn't manage to answer...finished my appendicectomy and rushed up to elective OT...praying hard there'll be no leak or infection for the guy...anyway, my bosses thought i was dead or kidnapped and they kidded that they were planning to call the cops to report for missing person...apparently the HO didn't tell boss that i was in OT coz boss didn't ask him where i was...hmmm...
So i was in OT the whole day yesterday....assisted in an anterior resection with defunctioning ileostomy and chemoport insertion which lasted 4 hours plus...it was fun...but my back was aching quite a bit after the op...OT finished about 7pm...but i went out earlier to do pm rounds...by the time i left the hospital it was about 8pm...
Elaine called me just before i left the hospital...she was bitching about the Kudat incident...hehe...so we talked for a while...then i had dinner at the Olde Station...then went home...just as i reached home, i got a msg from Elaine...saying that she needs my help to go wedding gown shopping in March or April...suddenly i was so excited, i totally forgot that i was dead tired...hehe...i just love shopping for wedding gown..even if it's not for myself...the last time i shopped for wedding gown was for my elder sister when she got married almost 4 years ago...finally i have another chance to go wedding gown shopping again...yay!!!
Well, so now besides my chinese new year break, i'll have Elaine's wedding gown shopping to look forward to...yea, i know...i'm so sad...i have to look forward to shopping for wedding gown for other ppl since i won't be shopping for mine anytime soon..;P...still, i can't wait for Elaine to come back to KK so that we can go wedding gown shopping...and have more frequent Chinese tuition sessions in karaoke...hehe...
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