Bad jam today...

I woke up this morning as usual at 7am...didn't skip a beat...though i wished i could have slept just a little longer...got up...performed my daily cleansing ritual, dressed up, packed my bag and i was out of the house 1 minute earlier than usual...didn't even close the gate since my other housemate was around...and yet i was 20 minutes late for work...

Stupid jam!!! it was like the whole of Penampang decided to go to work/school/out at the same time today...there wasn't even a stalled car/ accident that could have caused that massive a jam...ok, pardon me, i've become a spoilt brat ever since i work in KK...back at home in KL, i've never needed to brave through massive jams to get to school...my school was 15 minutes walk from my house..and i took the school bus...in uni, i stayed in campus...walked to class..and while i was a houseman here in KK, i never needed to worry about jams...coz i was at work before the sun's up..and i only got home long after the sun's down...so it becomes unbearable when my drive to work takes more than 40 minutes when it should only take 10 minutes (minus the jam)...

And so, while i was stuck with all the other cars on the road, the radio played Daniel Powter's 'Bad Day'...i was like, shit, who's calling me now? that song happens to be my ringtone as well...took me a second to realize that the music came from the radio and not my phone...how appropriate a song to commemorate the beginning of a day...i thought that perhaps it was an omen...hehe...so anyway, got to work later than my boss..good thing she didn't go...Kathleen, what time is it now?...guess she was in a good mood today...so turned out, it wasn't a bad day after all...so perhaps not all omens come true?

Do not be afraid...

LeeHom's song entitled 不要害怕 (do not be afraid) was playing on the radio while i was driving back from Connie/Jacintha's place...i actually didn't know the name of this song until i asked Khee Liam.. then i found the lyrics and found a youtube link where he performed this song life...hmmm.. very nice...

If there is a guy whom i like who would play the piano and sing this song for me...i'd definitely not be afraid to love again...that's probably my problem...i'm afraid to start all over again...afraid that in the end i'd realize that i made a mistake again...i'm too afraid to get hurt again...coz what the heart fears most is pain...so i choose the cowardly way out...to not bother trying...sharing the joy of my friends who are now mostly either blissfully married and pregnant..or are busy making plans to commit themselves to a life of matrimony....but not really experiencing it for myself...

Don't get me wrong...i'm not desperate to get married...neither do i go around propagating celibacy for life...i enjoy my single life...for now...but i still pray that one day i'll find the person whom i will be able to love unconditionally and who will love me back the same way...so until then, i'll just have to listen to LeeHom singing 不要害怕 and continue my reverie...

不要害怕　不要害怕　愛一個人其實並不複雜
(do not be afraid, do not be afraid, loving someone is actually not complicated)
不要害怕　不要害怕　過去的眼淚用今天去擦
(do not be afraid, do not be afraid, use today to wipe off the tears of the past)

午夜的兩點半　我走不進夢鄉　時間在逃亡　悲傷還在原地方
(2.30am, i can't enter dreamland, time has become a fugitive, sorrow is still in its old place)
我將一床被單　絞成混亂一片　愛已經滅亡　然而思念更堅強
(I use a blanket, and twist it into a state of confusion, love is extinct, but my longing is stronger)

我答應自己不要放棄　我答應自己不要忘記
(I promised myself not to let go, i promised myself not to forget)

閉上眼想一遍　妳轉身的模樣　每一個角度　都好像一種飛翔
(Close my eyes and think again, the way you turn around, each angle, is like you're flying)
我因為看著妳　回憶妳而悲傷　是妳在心裡不斷的想
(Because i look at you, recalling you brings sorrow, i keep thinking of you in my heart)

Stupid SESB part 2!!!!

ARRGHH!!! I think i've just had about enough with stupid SESB!!!! they've done it again!!! they cut our electricity again!!! for the second time!!! and we've bloody paid the bills!!!! how dare they come and cut our electricity and leave the stupid yellow note???!!!! and i blame that stupid lady who promised Jasmine she would help us settle our problem...it was bad enough that she didn't update the computer data after Jasmine has paid her our bills and our electricity got cut off the first time..now after a month it has happened again!!! what the hell has she been doing the whole month???!!!!

As it is i got home from the hospital this morning expecting to take a nice bath and sleep my post call day off...and i came home to find that there was no electricity...i thought it was just some cable problem that caused the whole neighbourhood's power supply to be down...so i couldn't bathe (coz my shower doesn't work without electricity) and slept in a bloody hot room anyway...but by noon the electricity still hasn't come back, i thought something was fishy...Jasmine was home too..post call as well...so i called stupid SESB to ask them what seems to be the problem with the electricity in my neighbourhood..and apparently, we were the only house complaining about power supply down...hmmm...so i went out to check the meter outside the house and guess what i found? the blood yellow note that said they've cut off our electricity coz we haven't paid our bills...there's a Chinese idiom that goes..哭笑不得..which translates to mean "don't know whether to laugh or cry"..well that was quite the state of mind i was in...

Thank God Jasmine was there to deal with the stupid SESB people...coz if i were the one talking to them, i wouldn't have been talking...i'd have been screaming my lungs out at those idiots for causing us so much inconvenience...and it's not like we deserved it coz we didn't pay our bills!!! i was telling Jasmine i was going to put in my transfer letter to JKNS and put my reason for transfer as "i can't continue to work in a place where the only electricity supplier in the state is out to make my life a living hell"....don't get me wrong...it's not like i can't live without electricity..i mean if i'm bloody stuck in the middle of Amazon, electricity would be off no importance to me...but i live in bloody KK...a city...and i pay my bloody electricity bills (although they are ridiculously high considering our usage)...and yet i come home to a house with no electricity??!!! i think any sane human would find that unacceptable...

So anyway, after Jasmine threatened them sweetly that we'll write a long complain to the newspapers..within an hour our electricity supply is back on...but she'll be going to see that stupid Johanna lady to screw her nicely (well,i guess i'd better leave that to her coz i might wind up chewing that lady's head off)....it better not happen for the 3rd time...or a lawsuit would be in order...

I hate Queen ICU calls...

So after a whole 2 months (almost) doing calls in SMC (mostly ICU calls), i have returned to Queen ICU...i started my 1st out of 3 consecutive every other day calls yesterday...and i've decided that i hate Queen ICU calls...arrghh!!! i don't hate my boss...he's a nice guy...albeit a little odd...i just can't stand the fact that every time i'm on call in Queen i'll have practically sleepless nights...i mean, the patient turnover rate in Queen ICU is definitely much slower than in SMC ICU...and yet, it seems like the turnover happen mostly during my calls..

I had 2 admissions yesterday...when there hasn't been any for the last 2 days before yesterday..which meant that we had to transfer out 2 patients to admit these 2 new patients...one was an idiot who decided to drink pesticide in front of his fiancee to threaten her to marry him..at the marriage registry...would have loved to see the drama...but since he only drank a bit so he didn't manage to die of malathion poisoning...but he needed ventilation and observation and so was admitted to my ICU....he came during the day...and it was a good thing he didn't give me much problem over the night...

The 2nd admission was a young lady with metastatic adenocarcinoma of the lung..mets to vertebra...she went for a pericardial window and chemoport insertion the day before yesterday...and she developed worsening shortness of breath yesterday...great...boss wasn't too keen to take her in...i mean...what exactly was our end point here? to save her today so she can die of her cancer in maybe another 3 months?..Pang pointed this out this morning during passover round and my respond in a jest was, "I dunno...give her a chance to get married before she dies?"...kind of got me thinking...if i were in her shoes, would i be lucky enough to have a man that i want to marry who would still marry me despite my condition....and what if the tables were turned around and i had to see the man i love dies in that way...i don't know if i can bear the pain...i don't think my heart is strong enough to suffer such kind of pain...but i digress...so boss took her in anyway...boss wanted to put her on non-invasive ventilation..to avoid intubation...but the patient couldn't tolerate the NIV...so i just kept her on high flow mask 10L/min....but she was so tachypnoeic that she was bound to get tired sooner or later..

I was reading a book i borrowed from Kean Khang while things seemed a little settled just around midnight...it's a very interesting dark humour kind of book called "The Graveyard Book"...i finished it about 2am...and after checking that everyone of my patients were comfortable, i went to sleep hoping to only be awaken by my alarm at 7.30am...but it was not meant to be...coz the nurse called me about 3.45am informing that the cancer lady was complaining of difficulty in breathing...so i tried her on NIV again but she became more restless although her saturation was good...so i told her that i'd have to intubate her and she said ok....couldn't even bloody get her to lie flat...had to induce her while she was sitting upright...and she was trashing all over until the scoline set in...thank God it wasn't a difficult intubation...but her lungs were so bad...i needed to put her on high ventilator settings..and when she woke up she was so bloody restless, she was trying to extubate herself...so had to properly sedate her....

After settling her about 5am...thought maybe i'd get some sleep...but again, it was not meant to be...coz one of the uncle in ICU who had multiple problems decided to vomit out blood at 5.30am..and he desaturated coz he probably aspirated the blood...and became bradydardic...had to start CPR..and intubate him...this would be his 4th time getting reintubated..thank God he came back after 15 mins...and although this uncle was a difficult intubation, thank God i managed to get the tube in the right place....so that was it...by the time i settled him...it was almost 7am...hardly any sleep at all...

Anyway, will tell you a bit about "The Graveyard Book"....since that was the only good thing that happened yesterday...the story revolves around this boy called Nobody Owens who was raised up in a graveyard by a ghost couple and a vampire guardian...his whole family was killed while he was still a toddler...but he managed to find his way to a graveyard and was protected by the ghosts and his guardian from the man who wanted to kill him...so Bod grew up among ghosts and was given the Freedom of the Graveyard....where he can Fade, Dreamwalk and Haunt...so after his many adventures while he was growing up, eventually the man who wanted to kill him found him...and the reason why he was supposed to be killed was....hmmm i guess i shouldn't spill the beans...go read the book and find out yourself...it's a light read actually...very entertaining...

Ok, now i shall crawl into my chamber and sleep until the moon comes out...then i shall roam the night world to look for food...

Improving my Chinese...

Last Thursday, while Elaine was still here in KK, and i was post call...the 2 of us 'ah lians' went to K Box again for our Chinese tutorial..hehe..guess we didn't have enough of it in Miri...we asked Suet Lai along but she only came for a while...so the 2 'ah lians' who can't really read Chinese were singing Chinese songs for almost 4 hours..with only few toilet breaks in between...Elaine commented that we can open a concert already...yea, we'll just fill in the blanks (i.e. words we can't read) with la la la...

When i was younger, i went to sekolah kebangsaan where the teaching medium was Malay language and second language was English...so i never had formal Chinese education...my only exposure to Chinese lessons was when i was in kindergarten...even back then, learning Chinese was a nightmare to me...i couldn't remember the characters that were too complicated...well, for me that is...coz even 我 (me, I) was too difficult for me to write...yea, i'm that dense...

But about a year back, i started listening to Chinese songs on Chinese radio...so i started to learn how to sing Chinese songs...initially i had difficulty looking for the lyrics in pinyin form...then Kok Wei introduced me to an add-on in Mozilla Firefox called Chinese Per-akun....it's a very useful and convenient tool for me...coz now i can use it to read chinese...and then i found a website www.mojim.com which i think, has a non-exhaustive list of lyrics of any Chinese (or even English) singer you're looking for...that's how i learn the lyrics to Khalil Fong's songs...now i'm widening my scope to other singers also...as to improve my repertoire the next time i go for karaoke again.. hehe...

Don't ask me why the sudden desire to improve my Chinese..i mean i've lived almost 2/3rd of my life knowing only very rudimentary Chinese and i've never had much problem...and it's definitely more difficult to learn Chinese than French..but i guess it was time to dig deeper into my roots...i am Chinese after all...

So anyway, this is the lyrics of a song by Michael Wong 光良...the title is 'you shou bian'...or right hand side...i love this song..very touching...I'm going to attempt to translate it as best as i can...

静静的坐在　你的身边　还会有多少　这样的时间
(Sitting quietly beside you, how much more of such time do we have?)
我要迎着车窗外的光线　牢牢的记住　你微笑的侧脸
(I want to welcome the rays of light from the window, remember firmly, your smiling face)
＊我说了离别　不会伤悲　这是我对你　唯一的欺骗
(I said our parting will not cause grief, this is my only lie to you)
　因为我最喜欢你的双眼　那么美　不适合　掉眼泪
(Because I really like your eyes, so beautiful, not suitable to shed tears)

＃你要好好的去飞　不需要对我想念　我会默默的留下　右手边的座位
(You must go on and fly, please don't miss me, I will silently keep the seat at my right hand side)
　有一天　当你看过世界　再决定　你降落的地点
(One day, when you've experienced the world, and decided your place of landing)
　而我也会继续的　奔驰在这长长的街　左手边是我的心　右手边没有谁
(And i also will continue to run down this long road, at my left hand side is my heart, there's no one on my right hand side)
　为了你　再寂寞我都可以成全　因为我相信　说过了再见　一定会再见
(For your sake, i can bear this loneliness, because i believe, we've said see you again, then we will meet again)

Miri...

I was at Miri over last weekend with Elaine and Siang Lin (The Foos), Jasmine and Flora..we went to visit Ai Wei and Alisa (who happened to be back for the weekend from Sibu)...it was supposed to be our last reunion before the Foos left for Singapore... but it turned out to be a celebration since the Foos will still be around till next year...so i'll still have my karaoke kaki ;)..anyway, it was a good reunion.. really missed Ai Wei and Alisa..

We stayed at Ai Wei and Kenneth (her husband)'s house...their house is called the SLim house..for Sim (Kenneth's surname) and Lim (Ai Wei's surname)...their house was amazing..it was like a show house, except that ppl actually live in it...every room has a different colour scheme and is colour coordinated...just like out of an Ikea catalogue...very nice...Flora and i slept in the Blue room..the Foos took the Orange room..and Alisa and Jasmine had the Green room...
After Ai Wei and Alisa picked us up from the airport on Saturday morning..we dropped our stuffs at Ai Wei's place and headed straight for breakfast...then we were off to Brunei (thank God i brought the right passport) for lunch...it was about 2 hours drive from Miri to Brunei..it took longer that day coz of the health check point.. everyone's still on the AH1N1 alert...We had lunch at this japanese restaurant called the Excapade Sushi...apparently this is THE place to go for sushi around town..and we weren't disappointed..the sushi were huge and fresh...everything tasted good..and for the quality of food, the price ain't too expensive...very satisfying.. yummy...

We went to see some show houses near where Ai Wei stayed...the whole area is still being developed and the developer were coming up with new phase of houses..i found my dream house...it's called the Alyssa..unfortunately, it wasn't open for viewing when we went there..i guess it was for the better..coz when i see the inside, i might just have bought it straight away..even though i couldn't even afford the down payment..hehe..
Sunday night we went for karaoke at Rex Box..well, i think i still prefer K-box coz at least the rooms didn't reek of cigarette smoke...and Rex Box didn't have as many Khalil Fong's songs...but it was still fun and we sang for almost 6 hours..hehe..i think we're turning into karaoke junkies...Monday morning we slept in...ah..it was good to know that i didn't have to go to work on a Monday...so then, it was time to go to the airport to catch out flight back to KK...sigh..i'll miss Miri..settling down in Miri is an option...see how lah..

Getting suck into the Twilight Saga fantasy...

So my Twilight saga craze started during my Bali trip…got hooked after the 1^st book…and recently when I went back to KL for a course, I finished up the 2^nd book and brought the 3^rd and 4^th books back with me to KK.. I finished both in a week….given the circumstances, I think that’s quite a feat…hehe..

I’m not going to give a lengthy review…coz it is really much more interesting for you to experience the books yourselves..but despite all the hype about vampires and werewolves (or eventually they turned out to be shape-shifters), I can’t help but feel that the storyline is akin to a Taiwanese/Korean drama series…I mean there’s the love triangle…the sacrificial love stuffs…the awkward and clumsy leading lady..the deadly (literally) gorgeous male love interest…and the eventual happily ever after…

If you have vampire/werewolf-phobia, these books will definitely cure your fears…I’ve got to hand it to Stephenie Meyer for her ability to make being a vampire/werewolf sounds so attractive…and Bella Swan (the heroine) did make it her life ambition..to become a vampire…of course, not before she got pregnant with her vampire boyfriend, Edward Cullen’s child and gave birth to a half human-half vampire daughter, Renesmee…whom the werewolf Jacob Black ‘imprinted’ on….

Anyway, ‘imprinting’ was a concept that appealed to me a lot…apparently it only works on werewolves though…how does it work? So once the male werewolf achieves his werewolf state, if he sees a female and ‘imprinted’ on her…he will do anything and everything to be with her and to make her happy…so it’s kinda like falling in love at first sight…and totally head over heels..except that the age factor doesn’t really come into consideration…as in the case of Jacob Black (who was biologically 16 but physically 25) and Renesmee (who was a newborn)…ok that’s pretty weird..but what appealed to me was that it kind of make things a lot easier…in the BGR department that is…

I mean, look at is this way…if I imprinted on a guy…he will respond favourably to the imprinting..as in he’ll feel the same way about me..and vice versa…ok, so it takes away the choice factor…but I think sometimes I’d rather not have to choose…coz if you have choices, then you can make the wrong choice..but if you didn’t have a choice, then there’s no right or wrong yea? And once you’ve imprinted, you won’t even ‘see’ another guy in a romantic way anymore…you’ll belong to him and he’ll belong to you…no more problem with loyalty..no more fear of making the wrong choice…everyone will have a soulmate for him/herself...how convenient…of course, I’d rather ‘imprinting’ to be age-selective…at least 1 or 2 year plus-minus my current age..after all, I’m not immortal like the vampires or werewolves or hybrids…

Sigh…but I guess I live in a real world…or at least in the wrong latitude…not favourable for the existence of vampire and werewolves..i.e. too sunny..apparently vampires don’t die when exposed to sun…they just sparkle like diamond and therefore will be discovered…so they prefer places like Forks (the place where the book revolves around) which is cloudy and rainy all year round…and oh, a vampire like Edward Cullen is definitely worth ‘dying’ for…I mean, he’s ‘vegetarian’ (as in he doesn’t drink human blood)…he can gives Adonis a run for his money…not to mention he can run really fast, is rich enough to buy Bella cool cars, can climb up Bella’s bedroom window and accompany her in bed every night (unless Bella asked him not to), would rather end his existence than to live a life without Bella…and the list goes on and on and on…

Oh well…it’s late now..i’d better get some sleep and continue my reverie…maybe I should migrate further north…where it’s cold, cloudy and gloomy all year round..maybe I’d find myself a vegetarian vampire..or a werewolf who’d ‘imprint’ on me..and I wouldn’t mind if they were unrealistically gorgeous….hahaha…yea right…that would be the day…

P/s: That's why i love books...full of possibilities...allowing my imagination to run wild...;P

Bad call...

Sometimes, it's when i get calls like the one i had last night that i wish i had another career...another life...where i wouldn't be still awake at 5am trying to set a stupid arterial line...in case you wonder, setting an arterial line isn't exactly my forte...i never seem to be able to get it at one shot...go ask the nurses who usually finishes up the pink brannulas for arterial line....you'll get a unanimous "Dr Kathleen lah"...

So yesterday i had a full ICU...with one patient which was facing imminent death...a chronic patient who had intraabdominal sepsis in septic shock..on maximum triple inotropes and was only deteriorating further...so a DNR was issued...otherwise the other patients were relatively stable but they weren't going anywhere...i.e. there wasn't anyone i could send out...but it was still a busy day with procedures and procedures...but things were quite quiet after 5pm...

As usual, and as expected...there's always a calm before a storm...and the ward ppl don't call the ICU MO until like it's almost midnight...got a call from the ortho house officer at 11.30pm...said that there was a patient who desaturated and was on high flow mask 15L/min and his saturation was 80+% only...lovely!! his ABG was showing type 1 respiratory failure...so i went to see the patient..asked them to prepare patient for intubation...when i saw the patient..i was actually quite surprised to see that he was still alert and conscious and could still talk to me despite the fact he was tachypnoeic and dyspnoeic...then i saw his case note and noticed that he was an 18 year-old foreigner...i.e. illegal immigrant..no offence to anyone who strives for political correctness..but it's a well-known fact that the illegal immigrants are survivors...and they can be at the brink of death and still pull through and walk out of the hospital well and alive....it's in their genes...

I checked the patient's saturation monitoring chart and noticed that the patient's saturation has been low since 10am...and nobody did anything for him...oh sure, the nurse informed the house officer and what did she do? she just ordered for high flow mask and then went on with her deluded little life...there's generally a prejudice against illegal immigrants here but to disregard a patient who was in respiratory distress for more than 12 hours...i guess it should be acceptable for the righteous anger i felt...so i called my boss and told him about this patient and we decided to intubate him before he just collapses beyond help...

But even after intubation, it was very difficult to maintain his saturation...and i found out why he was in respiratory distress...he was having pulmonary haemorrhage...blood was just spurting out through the endotracheal tube while i'm bagging...suction didn't really help coz the blood just reaccumulated and his lungs collapsed each time suction was done...initially the plan was to send him to Queen side for ventilation in the ward since ICU here was full and he was an immigrant (generally, we don't take in immigrants into ICU coz most of them can't afford to pay)...but while waiting for the ambulance to come pick the patient up, my ICU patient died at 1am...so what do you know? suddenly, i had an empty bed...but it wasn't another hour before i could take in this poor boy...and we couldn't put him on the portable ventilator coz he would desaturate (which meant that he couldn't be transported to Queen anyway)...so the house officer and nurses had to bag him till we were ready to receive him in ICU...

So by about 3am, we finally cleared and prepared the bed...and so the boy was brought into ICU..put him on the ventilator with high settings...100% oxygen and saturation was only 80+%...thank God he was young...so his blood pressure was still stable..but he was pale due to the bleeding...and his heart rate was constantly at the range of 140-150bpm...had to sedate him to keep him from fighting the ventilator...and i spent the next 2 hours trying to set a bloody arterial line for him...i just hate it when that happens...you have no idea the amount of cusses i cussed (in my head) the whole time...i finally decided to give up when Grace (the OT call MO) came into ICU..thank God she helped me to get the patient's arterial blood gas...the result wasn't pretty..and the patient's lungs were really bad...but well, as expected he was still alive and his saturation was actually improving by the time i handed over to the next person on call..i wouldn't be surprised that he'd be already extubated by the time i go back to work tomorrow...and yes, i'm bloody on call again tomorrow...

Photos from Joanna Wang's Showcase..

Ok, i'm putting up some photos i took from Joanna's showcase as promised...didn't turn out good..coz i was mostly too far from the stage and my camera's zoom isn't too powerful...oh well...at least i got my cd covers signed...

Orange Moon...and my first lobster ever...

Today i played hookey...left the conference during lunch break to have lunch with my che Yvonne, my niece Sylvia, Kit Yin and Jerome...didn't bother to go back for the afternoon session...ate Japanese food at Sakae Sushi at Pavilion...food wasn't too bad...but the service left a somewhat bland taste in my mouth..and i'm not too keen with the idea of online ordering at restaurants..-_-"

After lunch, we went back to my che's place..so Sylvia and i were watching Barney together..and she was actually talking to me...so i thought we were getting quite chummy...and then i made the mistake of falling asleep on the couch...coz i woke up to a different kid in the form of Sylvia...she was suddenly running away from me...and actually said to me "you scared me"...hmmm.. i didn't know sleeping was such a monstrosity...sigh...it's like 1 step forward and 3 steps backwards...

Anyway, when we were leaving the house to go for dinner...i looked through the window at the corridor and saw an amazing view of the sun dipping behind the high-rise buildings..and i finally understood why Khalil called it the orange moon...coz it was a gigantic ball of fiery orange..setting against a dimming sky...tried to take some photos..but they turned out too small..didn't manage to capture the essence of it..on the way to the restaurant, i saw the moon...it's full moon (at at least almost full moon)...and i commented to my bro-in-law Jeff that maybe that was why the sun looks humungous today..coz it was full moon...hehe, i'm no astrophysicist...but honestly, i don't think the sun always looks as big as it was today...coz i remembered the sunset i saw at my fishing trip and Bali...nothing as big as today's...

So anyway, dinner was at golden dragonboat restaurant...where my che celebrated her birthday recently..everyone in my family were raving about the lobsters...and so i was glad they decided to bring me there as well...so i had my first lobster ever...baked in cheese...and cooked with noodles.. mmmm...i must say...it actually tastes like crab...but it was still a novelty...hehe...

well, it's late...tomorrow i still have half a day of conference..i'm just looking forward to finishing New Moon...hehe...

Joanna Wang's Showcase..

So i got up this morning at about 7.10am and got ready for my conference....in a nutshell, the conference is about the who, what, how, why and etc..on nutrition in patients...but i was dead bored by lunch time and i was already into the 4th chapter of New Moon by then...and i was dozing off more than occasionally..so was Kevin, my colleague..hehe..he left when the afternoon session started...i really felt like going off too...but i was too lazy to go home and then go out again to 1 utama from home...so i endured till the session ended...

Took a cab to 1 utama...bloody cost me rm19...coz the driver went to pump gas and we waited for more than rm1...and there was the jam..but finally i was there..by then my feet is already screaming for rest...i was wearing a new pair of heels which i just bought before i came back..and they were torturing my feet to a slow death...and i actually walked the whole of 1 utama looking for central park avenue...finally found an info counter at the old wing..only to find out that central park avenue was at the other end of the new wing...bugger!!...anyway, i stopped by at Jack's place for a real long dinner...to rest my feet more than anything really...

So at about 8.10pm, i made my way slowly to central park avenue...hunn huii met me there...Joanna was late...about 20 minutes...i guess that's acceptable...so while we were waiting, i checked out the cd stall which was selling Joanna's 1st and 2nd album...dang...they were selling it for rm48...i bought her 2nd album for rm53.90 earlier at speedy...the same shop which was selling at the cd stall...bloody ripped off..anyway, i bought her 1st album since it was cheaper...rm40 only...we asked if we could get into the VIP seats if we bought the cds..but the guy said we needed VIP tickets... ticket scmhicket..hunn huii and i saw so many ppl going in with just the cds...and poor me was standing all the while...

Anyway, Joanna finally took the stage and sang away...she played the guitar and was accompanied by another guy called eric who played the electric guitar...she's really good playing and singing life...though i must say her crowd of fans were less rowdy than i expected..i mean, at Khalil's showcase...there were slightly less ppl but the atmosphere was one filled with screaming fans...well, girls mostly..yours truly not included...i guess it's coz Joanna's fans were more diversified..so they are more civil...

I'm really glad i got to catch Joanna perform live...though i'm still Khalil's no.1 fan..;P..will upload some pics later...no upclose pics of Joanna though...the organizer didn't allow camera onstage.. and they made her sign on her album covers only...i preferred her signing the lyrics book...

Btw, just checked out Khalil's facebook homepage...he'll be having a concert soon in HK..it's called Timeless Live in HK 2009...on 27 august at the HK convention and exhibition centre hall...aahhh!!!! i wanna go!!!!and i'm only going to be in HK in december..dang!!!

OT Today...

I'm back home in KL...just flew back from KK this evening...attending a course at Shangri-la KL from 5-7 June...so i got a free trip back home...how nice...:) it's quite late now and i really should be sleeping since the course starts tomorrow (er..this) morning...but i just had to type this post...while i still find it ridiculously funny..

Anyway, this (yesterday) morning i was in OT...and it was respiratory team's OT day...they get a half day slot for their rigid bronchoscopy under GA once a week..i think..i haven't been in OT for ages so i kind of lost touch de..so the 1st patient was for rigid bronchoscopy for foreign body removal...this old uncle's been having this foreign body stuck in his right lower bronchus for years but apparently no one has been able to remove it...so finally he was referred to our hospital's respiratory team...the whole procedure lasted about an hour...coz the respiratory physicians were having difficulty removing the foreign body (which turned out to be a tooth implant/part of a denture)...it was a little too big to go through the vocal cords...but finally after everyone had their turn at trying...the foreign body was out and both my specialist and i sighed with relief...

Then the whole team was self-congratulating themselves for doing such a good job...my specialist and i could only roll our eyes and giggle between ourselves...i haven't been in GA for that long...just over 1 year...but i've met enough surgeons and observed their characters...but i've never seen anyone with a more conceited and 'i'm mightier than thou' attitude....i mean, one of the consultant surgeon i know can do an abdomino-perineal resection or anterior resection in 2-3 hours (albeit with quite a considerable rate of complications) when the standard time is 4 hours or more...and although he does make conceited comments...but he doesn't drone on and on about how good he is...

So anyway, from 8am-2pm...all i heard was stuffs like... "we did a great job"..."that case was a difficult one but we managed to do it when others failed"..."we should take a picture of this and show it at our conference"..."that was a very smooth intubation"..."we should write a case report on this patient and publish it"....la la la....so i was quite entertained...laughing to myself behind the mask..hehehe...and gossiping about them with my specialist...hahaha...i'm such a horrible person...

Oh well, it's getting real late...and i'm definitely gonna fall asleep during the talks later..gonna bring the second book of the Twilight saga: New Moon to keep me awake later...and i'm going to 1 utama to catch Joanna Wang Ruo Lin at her showcase tonight...yea!

It's one of those days...

I was on call again yesterday...thankfully it wasn't too busy a call...had a 'big breakfast' as soon as i came to ICU...got a call from the guy who was on call the night before..i'm needed in the OT stat..i was like..oh great...now what?...so i rushed to the OT..but apparently i missed the action...they were doing a craniectomy and somebody hit the dural sinus and patient bled...massively...patient bled so much that he actually went into asystole and CPR was commenced and the GA ppl had to push in blood as fast as they could...patient was revived after 10 minutes but his blood pressure remained low despite on inotropes...so yea, he went into ICU for further resuscitation...and no, he's not dead yet...well, at least when i left he was still alive...

About evening there was another admission..but i settled the patient quite fast...so i had time to actually surf the net...so i was youtubing Khalil Fong...and i found out that he actually performed at a concert in HK on 29/5/2009...well, couldn't have made it there anyway since i was on call...but it would have been a really nice birthday present...watching him in concert...i spent quite some time watching clips of him performing..there were also clips of him at some music award and he won some award...and Fiona Sit was there sitting beside him...

So anyway, it's one of those days when i'm having crazy and irrational thoughts again...it's one of those days when i wish i wasn't me...that i wish i was Fiona (though i don't envy her singing 'talents' at all)...coz then i'd get to be by Khalil's side at some music award..and he would write songs for me...or some girl by the name of May..or Carmen..or Jessica..coz Khalil mentioned their names in his thank list...

Gosh...i seriously am regressing..or hitting an early midlife crisis...i mean, what's this obsession with some musician? if i was 18, then it's still understandable...but i'm already 28...sometimes i wish i was like Sharon...coz she said she has never had crushes on singers/actors/musicians...i've had crushes on singers since i hit puberty...;P...first it was Gary Barlow from Take That...that lasted quite a while until he kinda disappeared from the music scene...then Westlife came along and i had this massive crush on Bryan Macfadden...yea, i know..the fat one ;P...that lasted for like 2 years or so...then it was Ming Dao from 183 club...haha, yea, it's actually a Taiwanese boy band...that lasted like about another 2 years...then there was this brief crush on Baron Chen..after watching Ming Chung Chu Ding Wo Ai Ni...yes, i preferred him over Ethan Ruan...and then i discovered Khalil Fong and i'm totally in 'crush'...well, i think some friends would think it's bordering towards obsession...:P

Sigh...maybe this is what happens to ppl with no social life...and a hectic work life...they find escape in a fantasy world with 'strangers' they barely know...be it in the form of a singer, actor, musician, the guy/girl next door, the Guess jeans model...etc..etc...Sharon and Pang think i should go out more often..and meet more ppl...you'd probably have better luck trying to get a hermit out of its shell...hehe, and ppl wonder why i'm still single...i really can't be seeing other guys at the moment.. how can i? when all i think about is meeting Khalil? hahaha...ok, i better stop before somebody finds this incriminating enough to lock me up in an asylum....;P