I know, it's exam time, I shouldn't be blogging...

YAY!  First paper done...2 more left...and i'm so not in the studying mood now...I know, i know, it's exam time...and i shouldn't be blogging...but i'm just feeling so restless like a child afflicted with ADHD that i need to spend out all those restless energy...anyway, our essay paper started late this morning...well, only 10 minutes late but to think that we were the cause of that...no, i wasn't late (pretty sure i wasn't big shot enough to cause the delay)...neither were my 2 colleagues...but while the other departments' candidates were busy filling up the answer sheets with their index numbers and all, we were left (almost in a panicked state) wondering if our bosses were ever gonna show up with our question papers...really, we felt like the pride of the country...so significant were we that our own bosses forgot that we were having exam today...ain't life quaint?


Well, at least the questions were bearable...coz the tips from the other departments were quite accurate so we kinda prepared for them already...unfortunately, i think i screwed up the department and anatomy questions...oh well, previously i would be so devastated...but now, i'm just so relieved the paper's done that i feel so unburdened...like the string of the millstone tied around my neck has been severed...and i can swim back up to the surface and don't need to drown anymore...maybe that's why i have all this restless energy buzzing in me...


So after exam, we went for lunch at kilang papan...and then i started my adventurous journey...yes, mission of the day was to pay my summon at the Pengkalan Chepa police station...like, i have no idea where it was...but last week i stopped by at the nearby police station to ask if i could pay my summon there but they directed me to this particular one and gave me directions...which i have forgotten...thanks to my inability to retain information and convert them to long term memory...but after a few wrong turns, i managed to find the bloody station....i actually pass it by quite often everytime we're on our way to the airport...they should have just told me it was on the way to the airport...would have saved me those few wrong turns...and my car battery has been showing signs of dying...checked the water level and refilled already...maybe it's just time for it to say goodbye...anyway, paid the bloody summon...good thing the lady at the counter charged me rm50 only...coz the idiot who issued the summon didn't write the amount i was suppposed to pay...imagine if i didn't bring enough money...buat malu...not to mention a whole journey wasted...


Tried studying after getting back to my room but i just couldn't concentrate...was dressing up my Cocogirl instead...but quests done...and still restless...now post also almost done...hopefully will feel more settled and able to study now...come on Kat, 2 more days...and then all you have to worry about is your unending EOD calls...(joy)...and then your Pattaya holidays...yippee!!! and Lord, please, do not let me get into the pending viva...if i passed, then let me pass with dignity...if i failed, i want to fail with dignity too...that's all I ask of You...thank You, Lord...Amen...

You probably have gone over the edge when....

You probably have gone over the edge when...

1. you start regressing into your childhood and play an improved version of 'let's play dress up' on FB...yup, i've recently started playing Cocogirl on FB...yes, i used to be quite tomboyish...but if there was one (girly) thing i loved when growing up (besides going for ballet lessons) was dressing up my barbie...

2. you don't give a damn about your exam anymore when it's less than 2 weeks to your exam...especially when you used to be someone who'd cry a river if you get anything less than an A...in fact, you now wish you'd fail your exam so you have a valid reason to call it quits...

3. you think that indulging in no. 1 would be a good career move than the living hell you have to go through daily...yes, at this very moment, i wish i could just walk away from this hell i'm in and move on with my life...

Sigh...it's been almost a month since i last type a post...or has it been more? i don't know...when in hell, one loses track of time...i don't revel in bitching...and i hate the idea that more often than not, when i'm typing a post, i'm bitching about my life...it's just not healthy...i wish that i could type happy/inspiring/touching/optimistic post...instead of lamenting about how i work like a dog on a daily basis, indefinitely...some would call me ungrateful...and maybe i am...but i really thank God everyday for His daily miracles for getting me through each day of living hell...without Him, it would have been much worse...but i'm only human...a self-centred, self-preserving, selfish creature...who wants a good life, who doesn't want to suffer so much, who longs for a family of her own...but my work life is such a black comedy that ppl laugh at my predicament and console themselves saying, "thank God my life isn't as bad as hers"...and the most common word used to console me and my colleagues is 'pity'....i'm sure they meant 'pathetic' but i guess most ppl still have manners...

I don't know how long more i have to live...but somehow wasting my next 3 years in this living nightmare doesn't seem worth it...Oh Lord, please, i know my suffering is nowhere close to what Jesus had to suffer (and i did bring this upon myself)...but i don't know how much longer i can go through this...if You're willing, please give me a way out...if it's Your will that i have to go through this living hell, then please make it more bearable...thank You, Lord...Amen...