Showing posts with label Ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ramblings. Show all posts
Monday, May 7, 2012
I know, it's exam time, I shouldn't be blogging...
YAY! First paper done...2 more left...and i'm so not in the studying mood now...I know, i know, it's exam time...and i shouldn't be blogging...but i'm just feeling so restless like a child afflicted with ADHD that i need to spend out all those restless energy...anyway, our essay paper started late this morning...well, only 10 minutes late but to think that we were the cause of that...no, i wasn't late (pretty sure i wasn't big shot enough to cause the delay)...neither were my 2 colleagues...but while the other departments' candidates were busy filling up the answer sheets with their index numbers and all, we were left (almost in a panicked state) wondering if our bosses were ever gonna show up with our question papers...really, we felt like the pride of the country...so significant were we that our own bosses forgot that we were having exam today...ain't life quaint?
Well, at least the questions were bearable...coz the tips from the other departments were quite accurate so we kinda prepared for them already...unfortunately, i think i screwed up the department and anatomy questions...oh well, previously i would be so devastated...but now, i'm just so relieved the paper's done that i feel so unburdened...like the string of the millstone tied around my neck has been severed...and i can swim back up to the surface and don't need to drown anymore...maybe that's why i have all this restless energy buzzing in me...
So after exam, we went for lunch at kilang papan...and then i started my adventurous journey...yes, mission of the day was to pay my summon at the Pengkalan Chepa police station...like, i have no idea where it was...but last week i stopped by at the nearby police station to ask if i could pay my summon there but they directed me to this particular one and gave me directions...which i have forgotten...thanks to my inability to retain information and convert them to long term memory...but after a few wrong turns, i managed to find the bloody station....i actually pass it by quite often everytime we're on our way to the airport...they should have just told me it was on the way to the airport...would have saved me those few wrong turns...and my car battery has been showing signs of dying...checked the water level and refilled already...maybe it's just time for it to say goodbye...anyway, paid the bloody summon...good thing the lady at the counter charged me rm50 only...coz the idiot who issued the summon didn't write the amount i was suppposed to pay...imagine if i didn't bring enough money...buat malu...not to mention a whole journey wasted...
Tried studying after getting back to my room but i just couldn't concentrate...was dressing up my Cocogirl instead...but quests done...and still restless...now post also almost done...hopefully will feel more settled and able to study now...come on Kat, 2 more days...and then all you have to worry about is your unending EOD calls...(joy)...and then your Pattaya holidays...yippee!!! and Lord, please, do not let me get into the pending viva...if i passed, then let me pass with dignity...if i failed, i want to fail with dignity too...that's all I ask of You...thank You, Lord...Amen...
Sunday, April 22, 2012
You probably have gone over the edge when....
You probably have gone over the edge when...
1. you start regressing into your childhood and play an improved version of 'let's play dress up' on FB...yup, i've recently started playing Cocogirl on FB...yes, i used to be quite tomboyish...but if there was one (girly) thing i loved when growing up (besides going for ballet lessons) was dressing up my barbie...
2. you don't give a damn about your exam anymore when it's less than 2 weeks to your exam...especially when you used to be someone who'd cry a river if you get anything less than an A...in fact, you now wish you'd fail your exam so you have a valid reason to call it quits...
3. you think that indulging in no. 1 would be a good career move than the living hell you have to go through daily...yes, at this very moment, i wish i could just walk away from this hell i'm in and move on with my life...
Sigh...it's been almost a month since i last type a post...or has it been more? i don't know...when in hell, one loses track of time...i don't revel in bitching...and i hate the idea that more often than not, when i'm typing a post, i'm bitching about my life...it's just not healthy...i wish that i could type happy/inspiring/touching/optimistic post...instead of lamenting about how i work like a dog on a daily basis, indefinitely...some would call me ungrateful...and maybe i am...but i really thank God everyday for His daily miracles for getting me through each day of living hell...without Him, it would have been much worse...but i'm only human...a self-centred, self-preserving, selfish creature...who wants a good life, who doesn't want to suffer so much, who longs for a family of her own...but my work life is such a black comedy that ppl laugh at my predicament and console themselves saying, "thank God my life isn't as bad as hers"...and the most common word used to console me and my colleagues is 'pity'....i'm sure they meant 'pathetic' but i guess most ppl still have manners...
I don't know how long more i have to live...but somehow wasting my next 3 years in this living nightmare doesn't seem worth it...Oh Lord, please, i know my suffering is nowhere close to what Jesus had to suffer (and i did bring this upon myself)...but i don't know how much longer i can go through this...if You're willing, please give me a way out...if it's Your will that i have to go through this living hell, then please make it more bearable...thank You, Lord...Amen...
1. you start regressing into your childhood and play an improved version of 'let's play dress up' on FB...yup, i've recently started playing Cocogirl on FB...yes, i used to be quite tomboyish...but if there was one (girly) thing i loved when growing up (besides going for ballet lessons) was dressing up my barbie...
2. you don't give a damn about your exam anymore when it's less than 2 weeks to your exam...especially when you used to be someone who'd cry a river if you get anything less than an A...in fact, you now wish you'd fail your exam so you have a valid reason to call it quits...
3. you think that indulging in no. 1 would be a good career move than the living hell you have to go through daily...yes, at this very moment, i wish i could just walk away from this hell i'm in and move on with my life...
Sigh...it's been almost a month since i last type a post...or has it been more? i don't know...when in hell, one loses track of time...i don't revel in bitching...and i hate the idea that more often than not, when i'm typing a post, i'm bitching about my life...it's just not healthy...i wish that i could type happy/inspiring/touching/optimistic post...instead of lamenting about how i work like a dog on a daily basis, indefinitely...some would call me ungrateful...and maybe i am...but i really thank God everyday for His daily miracles for getting me through each day of living hell...without Him, it would have been much worse...but i'm only human...a self-centred, self-preserving, selfish creature...who wants a good life, who doesn't want to suffer so much, who longs for a family of her own...but my work life is such a black comedy that ppl laugh at my predicament and console themselves saying, "thank God my life isn't as bad as hers"...and the most common word used to console me and my colleagues is 'pity'....i'm sure they meant 'pathetic' but i guess most ppl still have manners...
I don't know how long more i have to live...but somehow wasting my next 3 years in this living nightmare doesn't seem worth it...Oh Lord, please, i know my suffering is nowhere close to what Jesus had to suffer (and i did bring this upon myself)...but i don't know how much longer i can go through this...if You're willing, please give me a way out...if it's Your will that i have to go through this living hell, then please make it more bearable...thank You, Lord...Amen...
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Drunk before lunch..House-hunting in KL....
So i've been house-hunting for condos/apartments in KL (around sentul area) the past 2 months...planning to buy a place near HKL so that it'll be more convenient to get to work when i'm back in KL for the next 2 years...so far i've seen the Orchid Condo...and my family checked out The Tamarind for me...they loved the place...i found the parquet floor slightly disturbing (does not fit my idea of a luxury condo, hehe)...don't get me wrong, i'm not looking for a luxury condo...that place is way beyond my budget anyway...but the slum that i live in has parquet floor...see what i mean?
So yesterday, since my aunt came over and i was free, so we decided to contact some real estate agents to view some condos that i liked...could have had started our house-hunting earlier, had i not been drinking the passionfruit cognac-vodka which my bro introduced to me...i drank half a glass of those poison and gee, i was drunk before lunch...took me about 2 hours to get my head cleared so that i could drive properly...
One of the agent called me back and we scheduled to view Viva Residency at 430pm...went to Sri Petaling for late lunch and picked Pei up...so we found our way to Jalan Ipoh...saw the units...i quite liked the concept...loved the wide main doors...but the price was over the budget...then the agent took us to see some other condos which i didn't plan to see coz he had to rush off to meet other clients...so we tagged along...
He took us to some place near Gombak, Alam Puri condo...real nice and classy...loved the all white concept...but hated the doors...it's quite discriminating to plus-size ppl...it's as if the door is saying: no entry for ppl > 100kg...but the facilities were quite nice...then we went to view 1sentul...it's a new place...also had an all-white concept...the units are comfortably spaced..and the shower heads are those rain-shower type (totally like)...loved the lap pool...it has sundecks at the pool...and the gym is well-equipped...it has a mini-theater/karaoke room...and the icing on the cake...the sky terrace...lovely view of KL...nice place to have an evening drink while watching the sunset...too bad, can't afford...plus, i may never have the time for an evening drink anyway...
There were a mother and son who were viewing 1sentul as well...they looked like well-off folks...so i was teasing Pei that she should have gotten to know the guy (seems a few years older than her)...coz his mom was getting the condo for him...that's one less headache for Pei if she ends up with that guy, hahahahaha....
Anyway, finally we could go and view Rivercity, which was the one that i kinda have an eye on...coz the unit is spacious...and the price is affordable...and it's just 10-15 mins from HKL...the first thing that greeted my eyes as we drove up the entrance was a couple of skimpily-clad girls walking out from the condo...Pei and i looked at each other and, oh the call girls live here...saw another couple of them as we went into the condo...and the agent told us that yea, some of the units are rented out to call girls...not surprising since there's a huge night club just outside the condo...
Anyhow, saw the unit that i was interested in...the design's a bit strange coz at the entrance, there're 2 doors...one leading to the living hall...another to the kitchen...which i find quite amusing...i liked the interior...and the master bedroom's bathroom...has a bathtub...plus 100 points :)...the lap pool's quite well-maintained...they also have a gym...the agent said there shouldn't be problem looking for tenants when i want to rent it out...sounds good huh?
well, bro said i should wait till after june coz the market price might come down...and i also need to see if i passed my exam or not...anyway, it was a fun house-hunting session...would have been a whole lot more fun if my state of finance isn't a limiting factor of choice...
So yesterday, since my aunt came over and i was free, so we decided to contact some real estate agents to view some condos that i liked...could have had started our house-hunting earlier, had i not been drinking the passionfruit cognac-vodka which my bro introduced to me...i drank half a glass of those poison and gee, i was drunk before lunch...took me about 2 hours to get my head cleared so that i could drive properly...
One of the agent called me back and we scheduled to view Viva Residency at 430pm...went to Sri Petaling for late lunch and picked Pei up...so we found our way to Jalan Ipoh...saw the units...i quite liked the concept...loved the wide main doors...but the price was over the budget...then the agent took us to see some other condos which i didn't plan to see coz he had to rush off to meet other clients...so we tagged along...
He took us to some place near Gombak, Alam Puri condo...real nice and classy...loved the all white concept...but hated the doors...it's quite discriminating to plus-size ppl...it's as if the door is saying: no entry for ppl > 100kg...but the facilities were quite nice...then we went to view 1sentul...it's a new place...also had an all-white concept...the units are comfortably spaced..and the shower heads are those rain-shower type (totally like)...loved the lap pool...it has sundecks at the pool...and the gym is well-equipped...it has a mini-theater/karaoke room...and the icing on the cake...the sky terrace...lovely view of KL...nice place to have an evening drink while watching the sunset...too bad, can't afford...plus, i may never have the time for an evening drink anyway...
There were a mother and son who were viewing 1sentul as well...they looked like well-off folks...so i was teasing Pei that she should have gotten to know the guy (seems a few years older than her)...coz his mom was getting the condo for him...that's one less headache for Pei if she ends up with that guy, hahahahaha....
Anyway, finally we could go and view Rivercity, which was the one that i kinda have an eye on...coz the unit is spacious...and the price is affordable...and it's just 10-15 mins from HKL...the first thing that greeted my eyes as we drove up the entrance was a couple of skimpily-clad girls walking out from the condo...Pei and i looked at each other and, oh the call girls live here...saw another couple of them as we went into the condo...and the agent told us that yea, some of the units are rented out to call girls...not surprising since there's a huge night club just outside the condo...
Anyhow, saw the unit that i was interested in...the design's a bit strange coz at the entrance, there're 2 doors...one leading to the living hall...another to the kitchen...which i find quite amusing...i liked the interior...and the master bedroom's bathroom...has a bathtub...plus 100 points :)...the lap pool's quite well-maintained...they also have a gym...the agent said there shouldn't be problem looking for tenants when i want to rent it out...sounds good huh?
well, bro said i should wait till after june coz the market price might come down...and i also need to see if i passed my exam or not...anyway, it was a fun house-hunting session...would have been a whole lot more fun if my state of finance isn't a limiting factor of choice...
Thursday, December 29, 2011
To Save A Life...my last CF meeting of the year...and probably for good...
I was glad that i wasn't on call yesterday night...so i decided to go to the last CF meeting of the year...according to the CF FB page, it was Popcorn Wednesday...we were going to watch a movie called "To Save A Life"...i thought i'd go since this might be the last time i'd get to go for CF meetings...once i'm back in hell next year, there's probably no way i'd get to get off work in time for CF meetings...Wednesdays are major ot days...joy...
So after praise and worship, we all settled down on the mat and watched the movie...the movie revolved around this high school basketball player named Jake Taylor whose best friend was Roger Dawson...they grew up together...Roger saved Jake from being run down by a car (which left Roger with a limp)...but freshman year changed their friendship...Jake hung out with the cool kids...while Roger was left out and alone...Roger shot himself in front of everyone in school during his senior year...and that started a change in Jake...who eventually found God in his life...
I thought it was a very good movie...of course i cried as usual...i always enjoy watching how God transforms people to become His vessels to be used for His glory...there was a line that Jake said in the movie: I don't want to be just some Christian...and his youth pastor replied: Good, i don't want you to be just some Christian...that line left quite an imprint...i too, don't want to be just some Christian...but i'm so afraid that if i say that to God, i'll have to go through so much pain in order to not be just come Christian...and God knows how much i fear pain...i know i can't go through my pains alone, Lord...but with You carrying me through, i know it'll be bearable...
So after praise and worship, we all settled down on the mat and watched the movie...the movie revolved around this high school basketball player named Jake Taylor whose best friend was Roger Dawson...they grew up together...Roger saved Jake from being run down by a car (which left Roger with a limp)...but freshman year changed their friendship...Jake hung out with the cool kids...while Roger was left out and alone...Roger shot himself in front of everyone in school during his senior year...and that started a change in Jake...who eventually found God in his life...
I thought it was a very good movie...of course i cried as usual...i always enjoy watching how God transforms people to become His vessels to be used for His glory...there was a line that Jake said in the movie: I don't want to be just some Christian...and his youth pastor replied: Good, i don't want you to be just some Christian...that line left quite an imprint...i too, don't want to be just some Christian...but i'm so afraid that if i say that to God, i'll have to go through so much pain in order to not be just come Christian...and God knows how much i fear pain...i know i can't go through my pains alone, Lord...but with You carrying me through, i know it'll be bearable...
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Christmas Night...revisited...
So tonight was the campus Christmas Night...after 5 years, once again i'm part of Christmas Night...i don't usually miss things or even people...there's definitely nothing to miss in Kelantan, except Christmas Night and church...but i guess i didn't realize how much i missed them till i came back here...so after 5 years of missing the exhiliration of choir-singing, i've finally tasted it again tonight...praise the Lord!!! I missed dancing too...
The Christmas Night was great...we didn't perform like professionals...but everyone gave their best... and Dr Tee was right...i was worried we would sound real bad on stage based on our practice sessions....but he said, don't worry, you would sound better on the day itself...and we did sound better...it's really encouraging to see young(er) people coming together to give glory to God...
I'm still wide-eyed from the adrenaline rush...hence am typing this post despite it being closed to midnight now...how is it that i love the adrenaline rush of performing on stage (not solo though) but hate giving presentations? oh, i guess coz most of the time i perform in a group...i just hate being in the limelight (alone)...and get bombarded with questions i don't know how to answer...
Can't wait for tomorrow night...i'll be up on board on a train down to Singapore...yes, i'll be celebrating my 30th Christmas in Singapore...i just hope i can sleep in the train coz i bought the seat ticket coz they ran our of berth tickets...
Here's the lyrics to one of the song we sang tonight...just thought i'd share the Christmas spirit:
Christmas isn't Christmas, till it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts
So give your heart to Jesus, you'll discover when you do
That is Christmas, really Christmas for you
Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire, a light like a candle glow
He's waiting now to come inside as He did so long ago
Jesus brings gift of truth and life, and makes them bloom and grow
So welcome Him with a song of joy, and when He comes you'll know.....
The Christmas Night was great...we didn't perform like professionals...but everyone gave their best... and Dr Tee was right...i was worried we would sound real bad on stage based on our practice sessions....but he said, don't worry, you would sound better on the day itself...and we did sound better...it's really encouraging to see young(er) people coming together to give glory to God...
I'm still wide-eyed from the adrenaline rush...hence am typing this post despite it being closed to midnight now...how is it that i love the adrenaline rush of performing on stage (not solo though) but hate giving presentations? oh, i guess coz most of the time i perform in a group...i just hate being in the limelight (alone)...and get bombarded with questions i don't know how to answer...
Can't wait for tomorrow night...i'll be up on board on a train down to Singapore...yes, i'll be celebrating my 30th Christmas in Singapore...i just hope i can sleep in the train coz i bought the seat ticket coz they ran our of berth tickets...
Here's the lyrics to one of the song we sang tonight...just thought i'd share the Christmas spirit:
Christmas isn't Christmas, till it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts
So give your heart to Jesus, you'll discover when you do
That is Christmas, really Christmas for you
Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire, a light like a candle glow
He's waiting now to come inside as He did so long ago
Jesus brings gift of truth and life, and makes them bloom and grow
So welcome Him with a song of joy, and when He comes you'll know.....
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Christmas Night Choir...and Christmas blessings...
Christmas season is here again...and this is my last month of good life before descending again into hell...the thing about human is, if you've never tasted the good things in life, you won't miss them coz you never knew what you were missing...but once you have, and you know you need to go back to a horrible life, oh, the agony...the despair...it's just too much to bear...
Anyway, we shall leave the lamentations for new year's eve...i'm going to be excited for Christmas...so i joined the the campus Christmas Night choir...just for old times sake...i missed singing in the choir...i missed dancing too...but i thought i'd only have time for one commitment...so choir would be easier... going for choir practice tonight...forgot how fun it was to be in a choir...
Was out for lunch with Karen earlier...she had some complimentary vouchers from Angie for free lunch for 2 at Renaissance Hotel...so she invited me along...so nice...and last night, i was out with a friend who lives in KB...although i've been here for the last 6 months, we've never got to meet up...finally met up yesterday for dinner...and he bought me dinner...i think God's giving me as much blessings as i can receive now to prepare me for my post-new year descent into hell...so that at least when i'm in my sufferings, hopefully i'll remember some of the good things God has given me...you know how humans are...when they're in a pit, it's so easy to think they've always been left in a pit and forget all the blessings they've received....
Anyway, we shall leave the lamentations for new year's eve...i'm going to be excited for Christmas...so i joined the the campus Christmas Night choir...just for old times sake...i missed singing in the choir...i missed dancing too...but i thought i'd only have time for one commitment...so choir would be easier... going for choir practice tonight...forgot how fun it was to be in a choir...
Was out for lunch with Karen earlier...she had some complimentary vouchers from Angie for free lunch for 2 at Renaissance Hotel...so she invited me along...so nice...and last night, i was out with a friend who lives in KB...although i've been here for the last 6 months, we've never got to meet up...finally met up yesterday for dinner...and he bought me dinner...i think God's giving me as much blessings as i can receive now to prepare me for my post-new year descent into hell...so that at least when i'm in my sufferings, hopefully i'll remember some of the good things God has given me...you know how humans are...when they're in a pit, it's so easy to think they've always been left in a pit and forget all the blessings they've received....
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
这种感觉我很享受...
昨晚我刚从越南回来。。。一到家我就sms几个朋友。。。看他们有空见面么。。。女的就说她太忙了，没时间约我。。。男的回复就让我意外。。。我正在洗澡他已经打电话来约我。。。因为我没接电话所以他留个sms。。。洗澡后，他过来我家，我们就出去了。。。
他说他最近压力很大。。。工作方面不太顺利。。。他欠银行很多顺用卡费。。。他问我是否有想过要放弃我所有的一切然后从新开始。。。我说， 我有想像过。。。但我想不到我能做什么其他东西来养生活。。。我觉得他一定很辛苦。。。我很想和他一起负担。。。却知道我什么都帮不到他。。。感觉好无助。。。只能陪着他。。。就像在‘夏日乐悠悠’里 乐乐记在日记: 看着你伤心，我陪着你伤心。。。看着你哭， 我陪着你哭。。。虽然他不会哭。。。
我们去一件酒店的酒吧。。。一边聊天， 一边陪他工作， 一边喝红酒和鸡尾酒。。。希望他这样能够放松自己。。。他看见我累了， 他让我靠在他肩膀。。。靠在他肩膀， 感觉很安全。。。也许是我太久没肩膀来靠。。。或许是酒后的影响。。。但这种感觉我很享受。。。虽然我很清楚我们俩的关系只是好朋友。。。他暗示了太明显我不是他所要的女人。。。其实那么多年了，而我已经分不情， 他是友情还是错过的爱情。。。
虽然我觉得可惜不是他陪我到最后， 但我还是很幸福有他当我的知己。。。如果他幸福快乐， 我就幸福快乐。。。如果他伤心， 我就陪他伤心。。。但我在想，如果有一天他遇见他心爱的女人而结婚了，我是否会伤心难过。。。希望不会。。。因为已经来不及遗憾了。。。
他说他最近压力很大。。。工作方面不太顺利。。。他欠银行很多顺用卡费。。。他问我是否有想过要放弃我所有的一切然后从新开始。。。我说， 我有想像过。。。但我想不到我能做什么其他东西来养生活。。。我觉得他一定很辛苦。。。我很想和他一起负担。。。却知道我什么都帮不到他。。。感觉好无助。。。只能陪着他。。。就像在‘夏日乐悠悠’里 乐乐记在日记: 看着你伤心，我陪着你伤心。。。看着你哭， 我陪着你哭。。。虽然他不会哭。。。
我们去一件酒店的酒吧。。。一边聊天， 一边陪他工作， 一边喝红酒和鸡尾酒。。。希望他这样能够放松自己。。。他看见我累了， 他让我靠在他肩膀。。。靠在他肩膀， 感觉很安全。。。也许是我太久没肩膀来靠。。。或许是酒后的影响。。。但这种感觉我很享受。。。虽然我很清楚我们俩的关系只是好朋友。。。他暗示了太明显我不是他所要的女人。。。其实那么多年了，而我已经分不情， 他是友情还是错过的爱情。。。
虽然我觉得可惜不是他陪我到最后， 但我还是很幸福有他当我的知己。。。如果他幸福快乐， 我就幸福快乐。。。如果他伤心， 我就陪他伤心。。。但我在想，如果有一天他遇见他心爱的女人而结婚了，我是否会伤心难过。。。希望不会。。。因为已经来不及遗憾了。。。
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Perfect Match...
I haven't been a regular couch potato since my undergraduate years...yes, i've been too busy being a nerd...don't plan to evolve into one now...just that i have been watching some tv lately...while i'm working out on my elliptical trainer...i usually time my workout to start at 6pm to coincide with the weekdays 6pm chinese series...so that i'll be distracted from feeling tired while working out...but i only workout about 2-3 times a week...so i'm hardly following the series...
Since it was saturday yesterday and i had time to workout, so i turned on the TV at 6pm and NTV7 was showing this China dating game show called 非诚勿扰...or the English title given was Perfect Match...apparently this is their 2nd season...and the show was based on the Australia game show Taken Out...haven't heard of that one either...i've seen the Chinese version once or twice during my workout...but since my Chinese is only elementary, i didn't know how the game show worked initially...or maybe it was the hypoxia-induced brain fuddle...
Anyway, i finally got the idea of the show yesterday...so there will always be 24 single women (divorced and widowed females included) standing at each allocated podium...not sure how these females get selected though...and there will be 1 male contestant who is introduced at each time...initially the guy will choose a girl whom he would like to date (this is unknown to the girls, only known to the audience)...then the 24 girls will indicate if they like the guy (by leaving the light on) or not (by turning off the light on her podium)...then a few video clips of the particular guy will be showed...and one by one you can see the lights turning off...apparently somethings just turn most girls off...
The show's quite entertaining because of the host and the judges...and some of the male contestants really need to brush up on what to highlight about themselves...during yesterday's show...all the lights were turned off on a few male contestants...which i thought was quite sad...one was probably becoz he was obese...another probably because he was too weepy on stage...although it was quite touching that he revealed that he went on the show only for one of the female contestant...who actually turned the light off on him because she said he didn't appear to be able to give her enough sense of security...and then another guy was quickly eliminated because he revealed that he didn't want to have kids...then there was this young kid of 25 who initially chose a different girl but in the end only the light of another girl on still on for him...but he decided to take the chance to go out with the girl..and get this, they get to go to Hawaii for a holiday...just the 2 of them (now i wouldn't mind the Hawaii holiday)....and the last male contestant also chose another girl but in the end only one light of another girl was still lit...and this girl actually looked really beautiful (i would say more beautiful than the one the guy chose)...but she had been married before...so i guess that wasn't exactly what the guy was looking for...the male judge was actually good at catching the guy's cue...so the male judge asked the girl if she thought the guy was interested in her...coz the guy was evading her question when she asked if he minded she was married before...so eventually the girl turned off her light and the guy left without a partner...
I guess that's how life is huh? you choose ppl, ppl choose you...you don't always get your choice...and you don't always get chosen by the person whom you wish would choose you...there was a 38 year-old lady contestant among the 24 ladies...of course she was beautifully made-up that she hardly looked 30...i do hope she eventually gets a date on the show and it may blossom into something better...personally, i don't think i'd do well in game shows like these...thus far, i don't think i would want to date any of the guys i've seen on the show...which would probably be fine with the male contestants anyway coz i would probably be the least chosen one among the female contestants...hahahaha....i guess my ex-big boss' advice was very wise...he told me, the older i get, the harder i'll be able to find a guy to my liking...coz i've become more fixed in my ways and opinions and i know more of what i don't want in a guy...which is a lot of things...but let's not elaborate on that...
Anyway, i'm on call today...hopefully it will be a quiet call...need to hit the books...urgh!
Since it was saturday yesterday and i had time to workout, so i turned on the TV at 6pm and NTV7 was showing this China dating game show called 非诚勿扰...or the English title given was Perfect Match...apparently this is their 2nd season...and the show was based on the Australia game show Taken Out...haven't heard of that one either...i've seen the Chinese version once or twice during my workout...but since my Chinese is only elementary, i didn't know how the game show worked initially...or maybe it was the hypoxia-induced brain fuddle...
Anyway, i finally got the idea of the show yesterday...so there will always be 24 single women (divorced and widowed females included) standing at each allocated podium...not sure how these females get selected though...and there will be 1 male contestant who is introduced at each time...initially the guy will choose a girl whom he would like to date (this is unknown to the girls, only known to the audience)...then the 24 girls will indicate if they like the guy (by leaving the light on) or not (by turning off the light on her podium)...then a few video clips of the particular guy will be showed...and one by one you can see the lights turning off...apparently somethings just turn most girls off...
The show's quite entertaining because of the host and the judges...and some of the male contestants really need to brush up on what to highlight about themselves...during yesterday's show...all the lights were turned off on a few male contestants...which i thought was quite sad...one was probably becoz he was obese...another probably because he was too weepy on stage...although it was quite touching that he revealed that he went on the show only for one of the female contestant...who actually turned the light off on him because she said he didn't appear to be able to give her enough sense of security...and then another guy was quickly eliminated because he revealed that he didn't want to have kids...then there was this young kid of 25 who initially chose a different girl but in the end only the light of another girl on still on for him...but he decided to take the chance to go out with the girl..and get this, they get to go to Hawaii for a holiday...just the 2 of them (now i wouldn't mind the Hawaii holiday)....and the last male contestant also chose another girl but in the end only one light of another girl was still lit...and this girl actually looked really beautiful (i would say more beautiful than the one the guy chose)...but she had been married before...so i guess that wasn't exactly what the guy was looking for...the male judge was actually good at catching the guy's cue...so the male judge asked the girl if she thought the guy was interested in her...coz the guy was evading her question when she asked if he minded she was married before...so eventually the girl turned off her light and the guy left without a partner...
I guess that's how life is huh? you choose ppl, ppl choose you...you don't always get your choice...and you don't always get chosen by the person whom you wish would choose you...there was a 38 year-old lady contestant among the 24 ladies...of course she was beautifully made-up that she hardly looked 30...i do hope she eventually gets a date on the show and it may blossom into something better...personally, i don't think i'd do well in game shows like these...thus far, i don't think i would want to date any of the guys i've seen on the show...which would probably be fine with the male contestants anyway coz i would probably be the least chosen one among the female contestants...hahahaha....i guess my ex-big boss' advice was very wise...he told me, the older i get, the harder i'll be able to find a guy to my liking...coz i've become more fixed in my ways and opinions and i know more of what i don't want in a guy...which is a lot of things...but let's not elaborate on that...
Anyway, i'm on call today...hopefully it will be a quiet call...need to hit the books...urgh!
Friday, November 11, 2011
A Disturbing Dream....
I woke up feeling quite horrified and disturbed (a term most often used by my friend Sharon, which seems to have caught on among our friends as well) this morning...i was actually quite glad that i was awakened by my colleague's message to ask for handover (although it was 45 minutes earlier than my set alarm)...or else i wouldn't know what further disturbing course my dream would have taken...i haven't been having dreams for some time now...and i had problem falling asleep again last night so my dream totally caught be off guard...guess i managed to get into some REM sleep after all...
I actually feel quite disturbed typing this post coz my dream contents still make me feel squirmish when i think about them...the setting for the dream is quite a haze to me but it felt like i was on a cruise ship...a huge one with lifts...and then there was this guy (who's almost a decade younger than i am...yes, i can hear horrifying gasps) who was in the same cruise...we happened to go into the same lift (for some reason we were heading for the basement)...and something happened in the lift, which was caught on the cctv....
Apparently we were both a little drunk and i somehow went over to seduce him and we ended up making out in the lift...and the whole incident was exposed coz the recording of the cctv were widely distributed on the ship...but apparently the cctv could only see the guy but not me (coz my back was facing the cctv)...and it became such a scandal on the cruise that the guy actually had to make a public apology...while i was spared the public humiliation as no one could identify who the girl was...
Then the guy confronted me..get this...of all place, in the shower (imagine those public showers in swimming pools with rows of shower cubicles)...i was only in my towel when he barged in and started throwing accusations at me...asking me why i seduced him and caused him to commit such a shameful mistake...he said all he wanted to do was to go down to the basement to study (i know, this is how weird my dreams can get)...and i said i don't remember doing anything to seduce you coz i was drunk (i think i've only been drunk once and i didn't do anything stupid like that)...i think there was supposed to be more arguments to follow but thank God the message from my colleague woke me up...
I don't know what this dream meant and i don't wish to even try to understand or interpret it...in case it actually reveals that my subconscious mind is getting too desperate that it's turning into a cradle-snatcher...or what's that new term used again? cougar or something? yup, i think i'll just laugh it off as a practical joke my subconscious mind is playing on me...well, at least now i know that i'm capable of dreaming up a scandal...hahahahaha....
I actually feel quite disturbed typing this post coz my dream contents still make me feel squirmish when i think about them...the setting for the dream is quite a haze to me but it felt like i was on a cruise ship...a huge one with lifts...and then there was this guy (who's almost a decade younger than i am...yes, i can hear horrifying gasps) who was in the same cruise...we happened to go into the same lift (for some reason we were heading for the basement)...and something happened in the lift, which was caught on the cctv....
Apparently we were both a little drunk and i somehow went over to seduce him and we ended up making out in the lift...and the whole incident was exposed coz the recording of the cctv were widely distributed on the ship...but apparently the cctv could only see the guy but not me (coz my back was facing the cctv)...and it became such a scandal on the cruise that the guy actually had to make a public apology...while i was spared the public humiliation as no one could identify who the girl was...
Then the guy confronted me..get this...of all place, in the shower (imagine those public showers in swimming pools with rows of shower cubicles)...i was only in my towel when he barged in and started throwing accusations at me...asking me why i seduced him and caused him to commit such a shameful mistake...he said all he wanted to do was to go down to the basement to study (i know, this is how weird my dreams can get)...and i said i don't remember doing anything to seduce you coz i was drunk (i think i've only been drunk once and i didn't do anything stupid like that)...i think there was supposed to be more arguments to follow but thank God the message from my colleague woke me up...
I don't know what this dream meant and i don't wish to even try to understand or interpret it...in case it actually reveals that my subconscious mind is getting too desperate that it's turning into a cradle-snatcher...or what's that new term used again? cougar or something? yup, i think i'll just laugh it off as a practical joke my subconscious mind is playing on me...well, at least now i know that i'm capable of dreaming up a scandal...hahahahaha....
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
On call 3 days in a row...
I really shouldn't be complaining about my work life in HKB...coz i really have so much more time for myself compared to my work life few months back...and there have been days when my calls were 'call-less' last month...but since November started, my lucky streak has worn off...i'm only half way through my 10 calls and i'm able to claim most of my passive calls for 'more than 4 hours of work after office hours'...i think God knows i need more money lately, so He's giving me the opportunity to earn more during my calls...but i still want to have my beauty sleep, Lord...
Yesterday i started my 1st of 3 stretch of continuous calls...not a good start...they just kept referring cases...and the last one was this idiot who was riding a motorcycle without helmet (coz it's jalan kampung) and banged God-knows-what and fell over...again, i must wonder why are there so many ppl in the world who were born without protective reflexes...one would think that when a person is about to fall, his/her limbs would be outstretched to break the fall and thus be of worse condition than one's face...but since i became a plastic surgery MO, i've seen so many idiots with horrifying facial laceration (only) but their limbs were unscathed...some don't even have a bloody scratch on the upper limbs...as if God made the face to stop a fall...
Got the call at 2am...and was in casualty till 4am...bugger....was only able to suture part of his wound coz it was at the left lateral canthus and it was bloody deep and wide...to suture it anyway would leave him with a squinted eye...not that i care if he ended up having eye asymmetry...he was asking for it anyway...but i wouldn't want my boss to think that i do not value cosmetic and aesthetic results...not that putting a full-thickness skin graft on his wound would restore proper facial contour but at least his eyes will still be symmetry....
So i'm keeping my fingers crossed that tonight will be a quiet night...since tomorrow i'm still on call...Lord, i'm looking forward to Friday...i'm dipping into mild depression...so i'm having my dose of caramel hot chocolate to lift my mood and hopefully aid in my falling asleep....yes, despite being tired (and able to fall asleep anywhere at any circumstances during the day), i still have problem falling asleep at night in my bed...
Yesterday i started my 1st of 3 stretch of continuous calls...not a good start...they just kept referring cases...and the last one was this idiot who was riding a motorcycle without helmet (coz it's jalan kampung) and banged God-knows-what and fell over...again, i must wonder why are there so many ppl in the world who were born without protective reflexes...one would think that when a person is about to fall, his/her limbs would be outstretched to break the fall and thus be of worse condition than one's face...but since i became a plastic surgery MO, i've seen so many idiots with horrifying facial laceration (only) but their limbs were unscathed...some don't even have a bloody scratch on the upper limbs...as if God made the face to stop a fall...
Got the call at 2am...and was in casualty till 4am...bugger....was only able to suture part of his wound coz it was at the left lateral canthus and it was bloody deep and wide...to suture it anyway would leave him with a squinted eye...not that i care if he ended up having eye asymmetry...he was asking for it anyway...but i wouldn't want my boss to think that i do not value cosmetic and aesthetic results...not that putting a full-thickness skin graft on his wound would restore proper facial contour but at least his eyes will still be symmetry....
So i'm keeping my fingers crossed that tonight will be a quiet night...since tomorrow i'm still on call...Lord, i'm looking forward to Friday...i'm dipping into mild depression...so i'm having my dose of caramel hot chocolate to lift my mood and hopefully aid in my falling asleep....yes, despite being tired (and able to fall asleep anywhere at any circumstances during the day), i still have problem falling asleep at night in my bed...
Friday, November 4, 2011
好朋友只是朋友
听过这首歌好几次了。。。第一次听到就对这首歌很有熟悉感。。。也让我眼泪想流下来了。。。不可能是唱出我感情的重点吧? 难道我还是带着希望吗? 歌词都说了: 好朋友只是朋友 不能够占有。。。朋友再好也不能牵手。。。想跟你们分享歌词和MV。。。
聽你說什麽我都很快樂
接近你連影子都微笑著
幾千隻紙鶴你都耐心地陪著我折
卻怎麽都折不掉那道無形的隔閡
越懂你陪著你就越寂寞
靈魂那麽美我卻碰不得
感覺再熾熱也不能讓飛蛾去撲火
靠近你的夢難道就能不失落
好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友
不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後
就一個人走 無所求
好朋友只是朋友
只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭
不打擾你的自由
認識你也許我就足夠了
緣分的深淺我都不管了
可能你感動也看不見我心如刀割
哪怕很痛過 至少就不算錯過
好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友
不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後 就一個人走
無所求
好朋友只是朋友
只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭
不打擾你的自由
愛人不是最好的朋友
朋友再好也不能牽手
感情在天平兩頭 誰都怕太沈重
好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友
不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後 還是一個人走
無所求
好朋友只是朋友
只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭
不打擾你的自由
《好朋友只是朋友》 - 郁可唯
聽你說什麽我都很快樂
接近你連影子都微笑著
幾千隻紙鶴你都耐心地陪著我折
卻怎麽都折不掉那道無形的隔閡
越懂你陪著你就越寂寞
靈魂那麽美我卻碰不得
感覺再熾熱也不能讓飛蛾去撲火
靠近你的夢難道就能不失落
好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友
不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後
就一個人走 無所求
好朋友只是朋友
只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭
不打擾你的自由
認識你也許我就足夠了
緣分的深淺我都不管了
可能你感動也看不見我心如刀割
哪怕很痛過 至少就不算錯過
好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友
不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後 就一個人走
無所求
好朋友只是朋友
只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭
不打擾你的自由
愛人不是最好的朋友
朋友再好也不能牽手
感情在天平兩頭 誰都怕太沈重
好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友
不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後 還是一個人走
無所求
好朋友只是朋友
只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭
不打擾你的自由
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Little Mermaid....
After googling and youtubing Love Never Dies, i found out that Sierra Boggess, the Christine Daee in Love Never Dies also performed in The Little Mermaid musical (in Broadway) as Princess Ariel...i love The Little Mermaid...it's one of my all time favourite Disney cartoon...i remember that i used to go to my best friend, Jess' house almost everyday to watch it...we even learn the song "Part of Your World" and sang it over and over (well, at least i sang it over and over)...
So i just had to watch The Little Mermaid musical...i found a Pre-broadway version which someone illegally recorded and put up on Youtube...i liked it...they had more songs...and the costumes were great...and most of the actors moved around in skate shoes..for the gliding effect...so fun!!! i love Sierra Boggess as Ariel...her voice is amazing...so needless to say i've been singing Part of Your World in the shower the past few days after i watched The Little Mermaid...though it didn't sound half of what Sierra's version did...hehe...here's a link to Sierra's version of Part of Your World...
The Little Mermaid on Broadway - Part of Your World
Last night my camp 'daughter' Yin Yee posted up a few links on FB...one was this song from Swan Princess called Far Longer Than Forever...brought back so much memories...i loved this song and the cartoon of course when it came out...i remembered going over to my neighbour's house to watch it...and we'll be singing along..."If i could break the spell, i would run to him today, but somehow i know he's on his way to me....Derick, you and i were meant to be...." and i thought that was the most romantic song ever....here's a link to the song...
Far Longer Than Forever - The Swan Princess
She also posted up Reflection from Mulan...i loved Mulan too...i guess i've always identified with characters which always feel out of place, constrained by society norm and are trying to find their place in the world...to be who they really are...i supposed that's why i love Ariel and Mulan...sigh...i missed watching DIsney cartoons...after listening to Reflection and watching the video clip of scenes from Mulan, my tears just came flowing down...made me miss my Pa...don't know if i've ever done anything that made him proud of me like Mulan did...but there won't be any more chance to even try...anyway, here's a link to the song...
Reflection - Mulan
To those who grew up with these cartoons, hope you had a good time reminiscing...
So i just had to watch The Little Mermaid musical...i found a Pre-broadway version which someone illegally recorded and put up on Youtube...i liked it...they had more songs...and the costumes were great...and most of the actors moved around in skate shoes..for the gliding effect...so fun!!! i love Sierra Boggess as Ariel...her voice is amazing...so needless to say i've been singing Part of Your World in the shower the past few days after i watched The Little Mermaid...though it didn't sound half of what Sierra's version did...hehe...here's a link to Sierra's version of Part of Your World...
The Little Mermaid on Broadway - Part of Your World
Last night my camp 'daughter' Yin Yee posted up a few links on FB...one was this song from Swan Princess called Far Longer Than Forever...brought back so much memories...i loved this song and the cartoon of course when it came out...i remembered going over to my neighbour's house to watch it...and we'll be singing along..."If i could break the spell, i would run to him today, but somehow i know he's on his way to me....Derick, you and i were meant to be...." and i thought that was the most romantic song ever....here's a link to the song...
Far Longer Than Forever - The Swan Princess
She also posted up Reflection from Mulan...i loved Mulan too...i guess i've always identified with characters which always feel out of place, constrained by society norm and are trying to find their place in the world...to be who they really are...i supposed that's why i love Ariel and Mulan...sigh...i missed watching DIsney cartoons...after listening to Reflection and watching the video clip of scenes from Mulan, my tears just came flowing down...made me miss my Pa...don't know if i've ever done anything that made him proud of me like Mulan did...but there won't be any more chance to even try...anyway, here's a link to the song...
Reflection - Mulan
To those who grew up with these cartoons, hope you had a good time reminiscing...
Monday, October 24, 2011
Of dreams and desire....
So i'm back from England yesterday...and today i'm back in KB...and tomorrow i'm back to work...not sure if i would be jetlagged from English time coz apparently i wasn't in England long enough to recover from the initial jetlag...anyway, would write about London and my West End adventure in another post...felt a need to write down about this recurring dream theme i've been having...well, as far as i can remember (vaguely), it has occurred twice...
Don't really remember the details...just that in my dream, i was supposed to be meeting a person (i'm assuming it's a guy)...and i can remember the anxiety and anticipation and excitement about meeting this person...but somehow, one by one my friends would come along and tell me he's delayed by one thing or another...can't remember any of the reasons for delay but they just felt ridiculous...and in the end, i woke up...never meeting that person...dang, must be my biological clock ticking loudly into my subconscious mind...it would at least have been nice to actually catch a glimpse of the person i was supposed to meet (even if he had to be swiftly carried off by the stormclouds or something)....
Was reading a book over my English holiday...it's called The Journey of Desire, by John Eldredge...honestly, i'm not a fan of Christian books...but i daresay it was divine intervention that brought me to this book...a month back or so, i stumbled upon a comment left by a friend which mentioned that i reminded him of the sea turtle stranded in a barren desert in the story which was in the above-mentioned book (just for the record, i don't think i'm like the sea turtle coz i don't delude others into thinking that the sea doesn't exist...i'm more like the sea lion, who is always dreaming of the sea)...the comment must have been left there for a while but i never noticed it...so i decided to get the book and read it for myself...Suet Lai got it for me the last time she went back to KL...but she only gave it to me a day or 2 just before i left for my English holiday...
I thought that was a sign i should read it somehow...and i must say this is one Christian book that really spoke to my desire...i'm just so glad that there are Christians out there who believe that we should not kill our desire but embrace it...at every turn of a page or two, my tears will swell up and spill over...i don't think i've read a book that made me cry that much (apart from PS I Love You)...i wish i could read it everyday to remind me of how i should have the freedom of desire and how i should channel my desires to God...it is too easy to forget...when i was younger, it used to amaze me how Israel quickly forgets God everytime He delivered them from their afflictions...i wondered, how can they forget the miracles and amazing feats God did for them? i'm older now...and i realized how foolish my amazement has been...for i forget too...again and again i forget...just as Israel did...
How God must be looking down at this child of His and shakes His head...He'll say: I forget too...again and again i forget...all your iniquities and sins...as long as you come back to My Side and love Me with all your heart and soul and mind...Oh, such amazing love...Oh Lord, don't let me be ruled by my heart's desires but help me to surrender them to You each and everyday...don't let me forget You, Lord...
Don't really remember the details...just that in my dream, i was supposed to be meeting a person (i'm assuming it's a guy)...and i can remember the anxiety and anticipation and excitement about meeting this person...but somehow, one by one my friends would come along and tell me he's delayed by one thing or another...can't remember any of the reasons for delay but they just felt ridiculous...and in the end, i woke up...never meeting that person...dang, must be my biological clock ticking loudly into my subconscious mind...it would at least have been nice to actually catch a glimpse of the person i was supposed to meet (even if he had to be swiftly carried off by the stormclouds or something)....
Was reading a book over my English holiday...it's called The Journey of Desire, by John Eldredge...honestly, i'm not a fan of Christian books...but i daresay it was divine intervention that brought me to this book...a month back or so, i stumbled upon a comment left by a friend which mentioned that i reminded him of the sea turtle stranded in a barren desert in the story which was in the above-mentioned book (just for the record, i don't think i'm like the sea turtle coz i don't delude others into thinking that the sea doesn't exist...i'm more like the sea lion, who is always dreaming of the sea)...the comment must have been left there for a while but i never noticed it...so i decided to get the book and read it for myself...Suet Lai got it for me the last time she went back to KL...but she only gave it to me a day or 2 just before i left for my English holiday...
I thought that was a sign i should read it somehow...and i must say this is one Christian book that really spoke to my desire...i'm just so glad that there are Christians out there who believe that we should not kill our desire but embrace it...at every turn of a page or two, my tears will swell up and spill over...i don't think i've read a book that made me cry that much (apart from PS I Love You)...i wish i could read it everyday to remind me of how i should have the freedom of desire and how i should channel my desires to God...it is too easy to forget...when i was younger, it used to amaze me how Israel quickly forgets God everytime He delivered them from their afflictions...i wondered, how can they forget the miracles and amazing feats God did for them? i'm older now...and i realized how foolish my amazement has been...for i forget too...again and again i forget...just as Israel did...
How God must be looking down at this child of His and shakes His head...He'll say: I forget too...again and again i forget...all your iniquities and sins...as long as you come back to My Side and love Me with all your heart and soul and mind...Oh, such amazing love...Oh Lord, don't let me be ruled by my heart's desires but help me to surrender them to You each and everyday...don't let me forget You, Lord...
Saturday, October 1, 2011
A good weekend...new beginning in October...from free flaps to free from flaps...
So October is finally here...my release is finally here...tomorrow onwards i will be working in HKB for 3 months...although i'll still be back in hellhole for another 6 months after my 3 months freedom, but i'm gonna savour every moment of my 3 months of 'from free flaps' to 'free from flaps'....i supposed how i'm feeling right now can be akin to a prisoner about to be released...except that for the prisoner, his release is for good...
Anyway, i had a good weekend...was post call on Friday...it was a good call despite having to do 2hourly flap monitoring...went home after my call to bathe...then went to pick up my friend...asked her to join our church service on Friday...it was a welcoming service for the undergrad 1st years...was a bit late...there were quite a few 1st years with us yesterday...Dr Tee gave a welcoming talk which felt very much like a lecture...hehe...then Dr Chew showed a slide show of photos of church activities gathered from since i was an undergrad...
One slide had photos of one of our church camp with me in the pics...Dr Chew asked me to go to the front to share my experience...i was quite amazed to see how i looked like back then...i wondered out loud "was i ever that young?"...even Suet Lai said i looked like some secondary school kid...and as i was sharing, one of the 1st year kid actually asked me how old i am...dang!!! can't exactly lie in church can i? so now everyone at church knows i've hit my big 3-0...oh, and one of my burn patient was there...this guy who burned his heel while he was at a sauna in Golok...hehe...
Had a good lunch after service...Hsiao Ling baked some yummy-licious chocolate cake...i think she knows i love and need chocolate...so every week she bakes some pastry/cake with chocolate...or cheese...God bless her...then i went for my facial appointment...it has been ages since i last went for facial...about time to pamper my face...actually, more like it's about time to salvage my face...in the hopes that i won't look 70 by the time i finished my suffering in hellhole...ended up spending rm271 for my facial and buying some products...also got mildly electrocuted during the facial massage...that's definitely the first time i experience such facial massage...
Came back and tried to study a bit but failed miserably...then went for dinner with Sharon & Suet Lai...had Thai food...woke up at 1130am this morning...and have failed studying the whole day...ended up browsing online clothes...saw some dresses that really piqued my desire...and they're quite cheap also...but trying to restrain myself...hehe...well, tomorrow i get to wake up a bit later than usual...better try to read a few more pages before i fall asleep on my physiology book...hehe...
Anyway, i had a good weekend...was post call on Friday...it was a good call despite having to do 2hourly flap monitoring...went home after my call to bathe...then went to pick up my friend...asked her to join our church service on Friday...it was a welcoming service for the undergrad 1st years...was a bit late...there were quite a few 1st years with us yesterday...Dr Tee gave a welcoming talk which felt very much like a lecture...hehe...then Dr Chew showed a slide show of photos of church activities gathered from since i was an undergrad...
One slide had photos of one of our church camp with me in the pics...Dr Chew asked me to go to the front to share my experience...i was quite amazed to see how i looked like back then...i wondered out loud "was i ever that young?"...even Suet Lai said i looked like some secondary school kid...and as i was sharing, one of the 1st year kid actually asked me how old i am...dang!!! can't exactly lie in church can i? so now everyone at church knows i've hit my big 3-0...oh, and one of my burn patient was there...this guy who burned his heel while he was at a sauna in Golok...hehe...
Had a good lunch after service...Hsiao Ling baked some yummy-licious chocolate cake...i think she knows i love and need chocolate...so every week she bakes some pastry/cake with chocolate...or cheese...God bless her...then i went for my facial appointment...it has been ages since i last went for facial...about time to pamper my face...actually, more like it's about time to salvage my face...in the hopes that i won't look 70 by the time i finished my suffering in hellhole...ended up spending rm271 for my facial and buying some products...also got mildly electrocuted during the facial massage...that's definitely the first time i experience such facial massage...
Came back and tried to study a bit but failed miserably...then went for dinner with Sharon & Suet Lai...had Thai food...woke up at 1130am this morning...and have failed studying the whole day...ended up browsing online clothes...saw some dresses that really piqued my desire...and they're quite cheap also...but trying to restrain myself...hehe...well, tomorrow i get to wake up a bit later than usual...better try to read a few more pages before i fall asleep on my physiology book...hehe...
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Little Superhero Girl...
Another week of intensive course...and another week of running to the wards and back to the lecture hall for classes...and tomorrow we have our own department presentation before the formal classes starts at 8am...skubalon!!! post call today...after suturing 3 faces from lunch till almost 8pm, thank God there were no more cases at night and i slept till the morning after finishing my presentation...
These 4 months (almost) have been a crazy roller coster ride...though there were more moments of spiralling down than a slow upward climb (not too sure which is actually the lesser of 2 evils)...but my life is pretty summed up by this Corrinne May's song called "Little Superhero Girl"...just wanna share the lyrics...you guys can find her song in Youtube quite easily...
Little Superhero Girl
I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles
with lemonade
Play hide and seek
with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I'll make the world
a better place
All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah
If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
Into pink poodles that bark,
but don't bite
All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself
I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
These 4 months (almost) have been a crazy roller coster ride...though there were more moments of spiralling down than a slow upward climb (not too sure which is actually the lesser of 2 evils)...but my life is pretty summed up by this Corrinne May's song called "Little Superhero Girl"...just wanna share the lyrics...you guys can find her song in Youtube quite easily...
Little Superhero Girl
I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles
with lemonade
Play hide and seek
with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I'll make the world
a better place
All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah
If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
Into pink poodles that bark,
but don't bite
All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself
I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Intensive course....
Our 1st week of intensive course just ended today...with a 20-question MCQ paper...the last 2 weeks i've been just trying to play catch up...with what? i can't pinpoint it...maybe it's just my own shadow...but i really feel like i've just been dashing from point A to B and C and D and so on...and without me realizing, 2 weeks have passed by...and i haven't studied much...
I've probably failed my MCQ paper today...despite the fact that almost all the questions were pass year questions which we managed to get our hands on...and which we tried finding answers to the questions...still, nothing in life is guaranteed yea? guess we'll see how next week goes...there'll be practical and viva sessions by the end of the week...i hate vivas...i've always failed them...
In times of haste and rushing through days without being able to stop and smell the roses, i'm reminded of Corrinne May's song "Slow down"...i really wish i can slow down...can't wait for next month...i'll be in HKB...and i'll be going to UK for a week...ah, release is finally here...alright, i'm post call today and i'm playing keyboard at church tomorrow...need to get enough rest....
I've probably failed my MCQ paper today...despite the fact that almost all the questions were pass year questions which we managed to get our hands on...and which we tried finding answers to the questions...still, nothing in life is guaranteed yea? guess we'll see how next week goes...there'll be practical and viva sessions by the end of the week...i hate vivas...i've always failed them...
In times of haste and rushing through days without being able to stop and smell the roses, i'm reminded of Corrinne May's song "Slow down"...i really wish i can slow down...can't wait for next month...i'll be in HKB...and i'll be going to UK for a week...ah, release is finally here...alright, i'm post call today and i'm playing keyboard at church tomorrow...need to get enough rest....
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A post call Raya...
So i've survived by 3rd eod call...there was referral last night from district...30 year-old lady involved in an MVA...she was the front seat passenger and she wasn't wearing her seatbelt...the driver tried to avoid an oncoming lorry and swerved to the left and crashed into a retaining wall...the patient hit the dashboard and smashed the windscreen...thus sustaining bilateral corneal laceration and a huge forehead laceration wound....since eye team was going in for EUA and T & S, so our side would do the forehead T & S under GA as well after they've fixed the eyes....
Got a call from OT just before 6am saying the eye team was almost done so i went into OT straightaway....then the eye ppl told me they had to suture the left cornea as well coz there were some lacerations...so i waited (while sleeping uncomfortably in OT) for them to finish...but by the time they finished it was 8am...my call was over...so i had to passover to my colleague who was on call today to come into ot to start suturing the patient's forehead...i felt bad for passing over to him but we're both doing eod calls...so i think i need my rest so that i can be on call again tomorrow....
Came back and zonked out till almost 2pm...if it weren't for my mobile messages, i probably would have slept till later...that's how tired i was....thought wanna go out for dinner with some friends...but most of them are working today...bad timing...when i'm working they are not, and vice versa...oh well, it's not like i'm not used to having dinner on my own...gonna study till dinner then need to go hunt for food...i think most eateries would be closed due to raya...
Got a call from OT just before 6am saying the eye team was almost done so i went into OT straightaway....then the eye ppl told me they had to suture the left cornea as well coz there were some lacerations...so i waited (while sleeping uncomfortably in OT) for them to finish...but by the time they finished it was 8am...my call was over...so i had to passover to my colleague who was on call today to come into ot to start suturing the patient's forehead...i felt bad for passing over to him but we're both doing eod calls...so i think i need my rest so that i can be on call again tomorrow....
Came back and zonked out till almost 2pm...if it weren't for my mobile messages, i probably would have slept till later...that's how tired i was....thought wanna go out for dinner with some friends...but most of them are working today...bad timing...when i'm working they are not, and vice versa...oh well, it's not like i'm not used to having dinner on my own...gonna study till dinner then need to go hunt for food...i think most eateries would be closed due to raya...
Friday, August 26, 2011
5 EOD calls in a row...Selamat Hari Raya indeed...
Yesterday i started my 1st of 5 EOD calls in a row over the Hari Raya Break...i'll be on call again on Saturday, Monday, Wednesday & Friday...praying really hard there won't be any onslaught of facial burn patients that the casualty ppl would intubate freely without ensuring if there was a place to ventilate the patient...coz then i would be the one who need to beg around for portable ventilators or a place to ventilate the patient if the burn unit is already ventilating 2 patients....i'll settle for minor limbs burn...even facial lacerations on idiots who still managed to get into accidents despite the massive jam that's going to happen over the Raya break....please Lord, have mercy on me...give me the strength and peace to go through the coming week...
Selamat Hari Raya anyway....
Selamat Hari Raya anyway....
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Korean dinner...and cocktails & cakes thereafter...
I went to visit Pa today...woke up about 12pm...found out Ma's wallet got stolen when she and Pei went to the market in the morning...sigh...series of unfortunate events...after lunch, Ma and i went to the place where we kept Pa's urn...i just felt that i needed to see Pa...thought that maybe i'd find peace... didn't see his physical self though...wish i could see him like how my niece Sylvia could...but i did find the courage to go on...i would make Pa proud of her daughter...we're not quitters...
Sent Ma to Lot 10 to exchange her Shiseido goods after that...got stuck in the jam for quite some time..reached home about 4pm plus...read 2 pages of anatomy and fell asleep...had a date with Twink tonight...she was supposed to come pick me up at 6pm to go for dinner...but somehow there was a change of plan...in the end i went to pick her up from at Sri Hartamas where she had her facial done...
So we went to a nearby Korean restaurant and had a pork bbq feast...since i've been pork-deprived in KB...hehe...after dinner, we drove back down to the Gardens and had dessert in Alexis...i just remembered that our family had our Chinese New Year lunch there this year...and that was the last time i had photos of Pa taken...and i realized that i didn't take a photo with him...just the 2 of us...
Anyway, i ordered a long island iced tea and Twink ordered a lychee martini...and we had mango cream cake and strawberry mascarpone for dessert...so it turned out that long island iced tea is a combination of 5 white spirits (poison according to Twink, of which i know none of their names), orange and coke (and no tea whatsoever)...i would have added more coke to the mixture to dilute the alcohol taste...but after the ice melted,the alcohol taste was less...so it was quite nice...and the lychee martini looked very feminine...very suitable for women...and at least it had lychee in it...
I had a good time bitching about my life (or the lack of it) in KB...told Twink of some horror stories...one particular story involved a certain person in my department whom i was assisting in an AVF operation...so this person was blaming me for trying to ruin his life coz i prepared the LA using a mixture of lignocaine & marcain adrenaline...which was what my urology boss had been using for the few hundred AVFs he had created (and no he had never had a case where the artery ceased to pulsate)...so when he found the vein, it wasn't in vasoconstriction...and then he found a pale cord-like structure at the radial aspect of the forearm which wasn't pulsating...and he started going on about why we shouldn't use marcain adrenaline bla bla bla..."hmmm, i wonder why the artery is so small?" and "damn, it's not even pulsating"...
I thought that was pretty odd...and the place where it was was more lateral than where the radial artery should have been...so i palpated where the radial artery pulse should have been and pointed out that it was more medial...that structure which was not pulsating was actually a nerve...thank God he didn't clamp/arteriotomize it...but i would not be surprised that if he screwed up, it would still have been my fault somehow....to cut the long story short, thank God for His mercy that the AVF was created without much mishap...
I actually have more stories of oppression/stupidity/etc etc...but it's getting late...and i'd rather sleep than waste my time on stories about people unworthy of my time...
Sent Ma to Lot 10 to exchange her Shiseido goods after that...got stuck in the jam for quite some time..reached home about 4pm plus...read 2 pages of anatomy and fell asleep...had a date with Twink tonight...she was supposed to come pick me up at 6pm to go for dinner...but somehow there was a change of plan...in the end i went to pick her up from at Sri Hartamas where she had her facial done...
So we went to a nearby Korean restaurant and had a pork bbq feast...since i've been pork-deprived in KB...hehe...after dinner, we drove back down to the Gardens and had dessert in Alexis...i just remembered that our family had our Chinese New Year lunch there this year...and that was the last time i had photos of Pa taken...and i realized that i didn't take a photo with him...just the 2 of us...
Anyway, i ordered a long island iced tea and Twink ordered a lychee martini...and we had mango cream cake and strawberry mascarpone for dessert...so it turned out that long island iced tea is a combination of 5 white spirits (poison according to Twink, of which i know none of their names), orange and coke (and no tea whatsoever)...i would have added more coke to the mixture to dilute the alcohol taste...but after the ice melted,the alcohol taste was less...so it was quite nice...and the lychee martini looked very feminine...very suitable for women...and at least it had lychee in it...
I had a good time bitching about my life (or the lack of it) in KB...told Twink of some horror stories...one particular story involved a certain person in my department whom i was assisting in an AVF operation...so this person was blaming me for trying to ruin his life coz i prepared the LA using a mixture of lignocaine & marcain adrenaline...which was what my urology boss had been using for the few hundred AVFs he had created (and no he had never had a case where the artery ceased to pulsate)...so when he found the vein, it wasn't in vasoconstriction...and then he found a pale cord-like structure at the radial aspect of the forearm which wasn't pulsating...and he started going on about why we shouldn't use marcain adrenaline bla bla bla..."hmmm, i wonder why the artery is so small?" and "damn, it's not even pulsating"...
I thought that was pretty odd...and the place where it was was more lateral than where the radial artery should have been...so i palpated where the radial artery pulse should have been and pointed out that it was more medial...that structure which was not pulsating was actually a nerve...thank God he didn't clamp/arteriotomize it...but i would not be surprised that if he screwed up, it would still have been my fault somehow....to cut the long story short, thank God for His mercy that the AVF was created without much mishap...
I actually have more stories of oppression/stupidity/etc etc...but it's getting late...and i'd rather sleep than waste my time on stories about people unworthy of my time...
Friday, August 19, 2011
If only Pa were still here....
I missed Pa...i wish he was still around so that he can tell me that i can go through this hell called 'master programme'...that nothing is too difficult for his daughter...that even if i found it too hard to bear i can always come home and he'll be there for me...
I was out with Jie the whole day again...shopping...initially in MV then the Curve...and we wouldn't be more surprised bumping into the devil himself than bumping into Brian...he's actually back in Malaysia...the last i heard from him was about 2 months ago...when i started 'hell'...
I'm sure hell is a whole lot worse than going through plastic surgery master programme...but since i can't imagine anything worse than what i'm going through now...so that's hell for me...coz hell is the worst imaginable torture one has to go through...for eternity...thank God that mine is only for 4 years...
It's way past 2am now...i really should get some sleep...i was watching Pearl Harbour on astro earlier...and i couldn't cry at the touching part...but i cried at the thoughts of going back to KB this sunday night...i wish sunday would never come...
I was out with Jie the whole day again...shopping...initially in MV then the Curve...and we wouldn't be more surprised bumping into the devil himself than bumping into Brian...he's actually back in Malaysia...the last i heard from him was about 2 months ago...when i started 'hell'...
I'm sure hell is a whole lot worse than going through plastic surgery master programme...but since i can't imagine anything worse than what i'm going through now...so that's hell for me...coz hell is the worst imaginable torture one has to go through...for eternity...thank God that mine is only for 4 years...
It's way past 2am now...i really should get some sleep...i was watching Pearl Harbour on astro earlier...and i couldn't cry at the touching part...but i cried at the thoughts of going back to KB this sunday night...i wish sunday would never come...
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