Love my new camera!!!

So today was the first day of the dragon year...slept quite late (or early in the morning) coz was on the phone...but managed to drag myself up at 930am...we were supposed to go visit Pa before we met up with the others for buffet brunch/lunch at Westin...unfortunately, the cemetery/urn pagoda place was closed for CNY...not sure if that's actually ethical but well, it's not like we have a lot of experience with such things...

Anyway, went to Bukit Bintang...so glad there was no jam...so i was busy exploring my new camera while waiting for the others to arrive...Bro, Pei and i had quite some fun 'camwhoring'...and i discovered an amazing feature in the camera...it's called 'soft skin effect'...with this effect, it's goodbye photoshop...not that i ever photoshop my photos...but now there's even less need for it...and i still can look good in my photos...:) i love my new camera!!!

After a long buffet lunch, we went back to 2nd uncle's place...managed to watch a few movies...well, haven't been watching a lot of movies...so it was a good time to catch up with movies...had fun watching Smurfs...yes, finally...and then continued with Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallow part 1...can't remember a lot of things coz it has been a long time since i read the book...luckily we had Pei the cross reference to explain the scenes to us...then we watched this silly slapstick comedy called Mr Bones...quite mindless but sometimes it's good to watch movies that don't require too much analytical thinking...

Guess it's gonna be a quiet new year...somehow even the reunion dinner last night was more sombre than previous years...i guess we all missed Pa's presence...well, Happy Dragon New Year....

Back home for Chinese New Year...

So i got through another week of free flap frenzy...2 free flaps in one week...which was quite bearable since we've had 4 free flaps in a week previously...got off work a bit earlier on Thursday evening coz my train back to KL was at 7pm...showered, last minute packing and then found out my phone got cut (cos apparently our account has reached its credit limit)...good thing Karen came on time to pick me up...but there was this stupid jam on the way to the train station...so i fretted...coz i ain't gonna miss the train...i was getting the hell out of KB that night no matter what...thank God we made it in time...and the train was delayed anyway...

Boarded the train about 720pm...ate my dinner....and slept at 8pm plus...only got up to answer nature's calls...although i kept getting awakened whenever the train stopped...but still, at least i could sleep...reached KL Sentral about 9am Friday morning...by then my phone was back on...called mom and bro came with her to pick me up...got home to get Pei and we went to Puchong for dim sum...yummy! first porky meal of the new year...char siew pau never tasted so good...and i was craving for lau sa pau just a few days back and i got to eat it...ahhh, God is good...

Went for grocery shopping with mom, bro and Pei in the afternoon...bought some baby stuffs for Colleen's Olivia (need the parent's name for contrast since Ernest's daughter will be named Olivia as well)...went out to yum cha with Cam and Wei Yew at Chatime (Cam's favourite) at Sri Petaling after dinner...it was good to catch up...we stayed till about 1030pm...then i sent Cam home and went home...

Was reading some journal articles for my case report while waiting for Ah Lok to get home and call me...and was listening to this song by Joshua Radin called "The Fear You Won't Fall"...nice and mellow...and melancholic...Ah Lok said that song describes our situation perfectly...anyway, we chatted till about 330am...and i got awakened by a call from the stupid hospital at 930am...urgh!!!! like i thought they should know how to call the on call MO and i'm obviously not on call...idiots!

Been spending the whole day doing my case report...got the introduction and discussion done...hope it's adequate...part of the case report is done as well...just need to add the operative details when i get back to KB...need the patient's folder for that...that shouldn't take too long...need to hand it in soon...before the supervisor comes chasing for it again...sigh, despite the holiday, i still need to prepare my case report, presentations and study...Lord, help me to be discipline and finish my work and study...

The 12 days of New Year...

So today is the 12th day of the New Year...which also meant i've already been working 2 weeks in 'hell' again...although the grass is no longer green...and life is no longer as good as the last 3 months, i really thank God that it hasn't been the 'hell' i've been expecting...but then again, the flap frenzy has not started yet...i might be singing a different tune when it does...

Still, after only 2 weeks, i'm already tired...and feeling a little low...must be the lack of sun exposure...but i really praise the Lord that my past few calls have been amazingly good...if not, i'd probably feel worse...yesterday was GA OT day...i thought i wouldn't be able to go to CF coz i expected a long day...but miraculously the last case got cancelled and i managed to go to CF...albeit a bit late...and despite the talk lasting almost 2 hours, i miraculously made it through the whole talk without falling asleep within the 1st half hour...God is so amazing...

I liked what the speaker quoted from CS Lewis...he said: Sin is man telling God, "go away! leave me alone!"...and hell is God's reply to man saying, "have your wish"...i couldn't help nodding in agreement...this concept is quite liberating for me when it comes to the question, why is there hell if God is a loving and compassionate God...He didn't create hell with the intention to torture His children...but we choose hell when we do not choose God's love...because really, without God's love, life is hell...you don't even have to wait till afterlife...and therefore i should not call the place/condition i am in now 'hell' since i know God's love is with me...

Saw a link which a friend put up on FB...it was Jason Mraz's new song called 'I won't give up'...i was intrigued...so i listened to it...and i loved it...i really liked the idea of the song...how this guy won't give up on his hope for 'us' with the girl....in this twisted hopeless romantic mind of mine, i felt like this song sang of the feeling of a certain guy for me...yup, i've got my head too far up in the clouds...getting quite delusional...anyway, here's the link:

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

So the new year has started off quite bearable...i guess if you were expecting the worse, anything less than worse is really not bad at all...i just pray that when things do get worse, i would still be holding on to God and trust in Him to help me through tough times...so here's to 2012...have a great one...even if the world ends...

Blessed 2011...now to prepare for 2012...

So somewhere beginning of this month i joined a contest to win 6 months free facial...and i tried every legal and ethical measure i could to bid for votes...got my friends to help share my photo to ask their friends to vote for me...i messaged every FB friend i had (which were less than 500)...and then Cam found out the other girl who had more 'likes' on her photo had 4004 friends in her FB account...and i thought, yea, i give up...there's no way i could win even if all my friends voted for me...it'd be a miracle if i won...

The day after i came back from Singapore, Urban Essentials put up the top 3 finalists with their number of valid votes...and what do you know? despite the other girl having more 'likes' on her pic, my valid votes were still more...and yesterday, they announced the winner...i won!!! a miracle!!! God is so good...i'm so grateful to Him and all my friends who've shared my photo and voted for me...and also to my friends' friends who voted for me....

One of my 2011 resolution was to get a new camera...i wanted either a sony alpha nex or a panasonic lumix gf for Christmas...Ah Lok decided that he wanted to get me a sony alpha nex 5...he had quite a hard time trying to buy it for me...coz the model that i wanted was limited in stock...i thought i wasn't getting my camera this year...i didn't mind waiting till next year CNY...but then he gave me a surprise...special delivery to KB...in person...soooo happy!!!! God is really too good to me...for sending angels into my life to remind me of how much He loves me...

A friend asked if it was a 'special' friend who gave me my new camera...i replied, i'm not sure how to define our friendship...last night i actually dreamt about Ah Lok...the dream was quite disturbing...i dreamt that we were in a car...his parents were in the front seats and we were in the back seats...wasn't sure what the ongoing conversation was all about, what car we were in, where we were going...i just remembered that along the way, he took my hand and held it...under normal conscious circumstances, i think i would have pulled my hand away...but in my dream, i let him hold my hand...is my subconscious trying to tell me something? i don't know...perhaps it's better not to dwell into it too much...not exactly in the right state of mind to even consider a relationship...and my deepest fear is that i would not be able to love anyone with all my heart and soul...not with so much uncertainties in my life at the moment...

The last week of 2011 has been an overwhelming week of blessings and miracles...but i'm so carnal...the ungrateful brat in me actually thinks that maybe God is 'fattening' me up for the slaughterhouse coz come tomorrow, January 1st, i'll be back in HUSM...and i'm so afraid despite me being so grateful now for His love, blessings and miracles, when things go awry on Sunday, it'll be so easy for me to turn and shout at Him for not being there for me...and that it'll be so easy for me to forget all the wonderful blessings and miracles i experienced just the week before...that suddenly 'last year' would seem so faraway...

Lord, please help me to remember Your goodness...despite what the New Year may bring...help me to surrender everything into Your hands...that i may trust that You're carrying me on Your wings when my whole world seems to be falling apart, Lord...You have never forsaken me...and You never will...all You need is my Amen...may You always have my Amen, Lord...Happy New Year 2012!!!

To Save A Life...my last CF meeting of the year...and probably for good...

I was glad that i wasn't on call yesterday night...so i decided to go to the last CF meeting of the year...according to the CF FB page, it was Popcorn Wednesday...we were going to watch a movie called "To Save A Life"...i thought i'd go since this might be the last time i'd get to go for CF meetings...once i'm back in hell next year, there's probably no way i'd get to get off work in time for CF meetings...Wednesdays are major ot days...joy...

So after praise and worship, we all settled down on the mat and watched the movie...the movie revolved around this high school basketball player named Jake Taylor whose best friend was Roger Dawson...they grew up together...Roger saved Jake from being run down by a car (which left Roger with a limp)...but freshman year changed their friendship...Jake hung out with the cool kids...while Roger was left out and alone...Roger shot himself in front of everyone in school during his senior year...and that started a change in Jake...who eventually found God in his life...

I thought it was a very good movie...of course i cried as usual...i always enjoy watching how God transforms people to become His vessels to be used for His glory...there was a line that Jake said in the movie: I don't want to be just some Christian...and his youth pastor replied: Good, i don't want you to be just some Christian...that line left quite an imprint...i too, don't want to be just some Christian...but i'm so afraid that if i say that to God, i'll have to go through so much pain in order to not be just come Christian...and God knows how much i fear pain...i know i can't go through my pains alone, Lord...but with You carrying me through, i know it'll be bearable...

My 30th Christmas...in Singapore...Blessed Adventure...

I decided to go down to Singapore for my 30th Christmas...i didn't want to stay in KB coz i feared it would be too depressing...i didn't feel like going back to KL coz well, i just didn't feel like it...so i thought i'd take the train down to Singapore for the Christmas weekend...remind me never again to take the seat coach on a night train...not exactly the most pleasant experience...

My journey to Singapore is quite one of faith...i didn't have a single Singapore cent with me when i came out from the Woodlands checkpoint on Friday morning...but God found me a money-changer opposite the bus stop...and i changed rm100 into sgd40.70...planned to use my debit card when shopping...found my way to Suntec City just in time to meet up with my aunt for lunch...left my luggage with my aunt for her to bring back to her place coz i was meeting up with Yin Yee after her work...we were going to her church's Christmas celebration...

It was quite an adventure trying to find my way to Yin Yee's workplace at Marina Bay Financial Centre...but i loved the idea of walking along underground malls...met some new friends at her church...one was an Iranian guy...and i found out that Iranians celebrate Winter Solstice by eating all night long...how cool is that huh? church was at NUS...so i found my way back to aunt's place at Toa Payoh North...thanks to my new friends...

Christmas eve lunch with aunt at Kallang...pork rib prawn mee...interesting mix...then i met up with Sherine and Yin Yee at Suntec City...Sherine, MeiLing and i were going for City Harvest's Christmas service at 2pm...Yin Yee went painting with Kathy and John...the Christmas service was pretty amazing...it was at one of the convention halls...and the musical they put up was almost professional...it did feel a little commercialized...

Met up with Kian Ming and his girlfriend at Bishan interchange for dinner...i really love the idea of underground malls at MRT stations...at least you can go shopping if your friends were running late...it was good to have caught up with Kian Ming...initially thought of checking out Orchard...but after considering the crowd that might be, we decided against it...so yea, my Christmas eve didn't turn out the way i imagined it would be...didn't bump into any good-looking guy under the mistletoe...i got back to aunt's place about 11pm...spent some time reading the Bible...replied Christmas messages...then went to bed...

So Christmas morning i was supposed to meet Yin Yee at Katong Shopping Centre at 945am coz we were going to the Cornerstone church Christmas service...so i took the MRT from Braddell station to Dhoby Ghaut and caught the no. 10 bus to Katong...arrived at about 10am...then i saw Yin Yee's message...saying: hey, where are you? i'm at city hall mrt.......i was like, hmmm, what's going on? tried calling her, couldn't get through...good thing the messages could go through...so i took the no. 14 bus from the opposite side of the road back to city hall...reached there about 1030am...

Apparently, of all the messages that Yin Yee and i exchanged the night before, the most important one that informed about the change of venue did not get through to me...hence the Christmas morning adventure...but it's amazing how God came through all this...and what's more amazing was that during the altar call, when the pastor asked if anyone has never invited Jesus into his/her heart and experienced the joy of Christmas, my new Iranian friend raised his hand...and he went to the front and said the sinner's prayer...i'm not sure if he really knew what he was doing...but for me, it was a miracle i needed to see...

After lunch, Yin Yee and i went to Tanglin Mall...i was at That CD Shop in City Hall and they didn't have Corrinne May's older albums but the girl in the shop checked that Tanglin Mall had them...along the way, saw this guy sitting by the roadside in front of a stretch of Tudorean shophouses...he was drawing the buildings...very very nice...anyway, they only had Corrinne May's 'Beautiful Seed' in Tanglin Mall...apparently even that branch ran out of her 'Save in a Crazy World' album...so sad...but still glad that i got her 'Beautiful Seed'...

We went to meet up with Jessie and Sherine at Katong112...then went to one of their church member's place at the east...nice apartment...i think i like the east side of Singapore...feels more homely and less crowded...we shared and prayed and i felt really glad...Yin Yee has grown so much in her walk with the Lord since i first met her in Camp Cameron...we had late dinner somewhere along Katong...first time trying 'mee pok'...quite nice...then Yin Yee accompanied me back to Dhoby Ghaut MRT...by then my EZlink card was low on cash and i only have sgd2 left in my wallet...thank God for Yin Yee who helped me to top up the card...really grateful...

Was supposed to take the 9am bus from Golden Mile Plaza back to KL on Boxing Day...aunt and i only left her place at 810am...and she didn't say anything about we were going to be late...and we were taking the MRT...but by 855am, it became apparent we weren't going to make it in time for the bus coz we were still 5 stations behind...aunt tried to get the bus ppl to wait for us but the guy said they'll wait at most 10 minutes..so we hopped off at Paya Lebar station and caught a cab...but we still couldn't make it in time...so we asked the cabbie to send us to Tuas checkpoint to catch the bus...thank God we made it there before the bus...aunt said if she had a heart condition she might have had a heart attack...so much drama...i told her, with me, life's always exciting and adventurous...hahahaha...really felt bad to drag aunt into my adventures...the cab cost sgd 20 over...almost the price of my bus ticket...

So yea, that was my 30th Christmas...no, i didn't crowd with the people in Orchard on Christmas eve...i didn't even make it to Marina Bay Sands...but it was a Christmas filled with blessings and miracles i needed to help me remember how much God loves me...coz i'll definitely need to remember these come the New Year...

Christmas Night...revisited...

So tonight was the campus Christmas Night...after 5 years, once again i'm part of Christmas Night...i don't usually miss things or even people...there's definitely nothing to miss in Kelantan, except Christmas Night and church...but i guess i didn't realize how much i missed them till i came back here...so after 5 years of missing the exhiliration of choir-singing, i've finally tasted it again tonight...praise the Lord!!! I missed dancing too...

The Christmas Night was great...we didn't perform like professionals...but everyone gave their best... and Dr Tee was right...i was worried we would sound real bad on stage based on our practice sessions....but he said, don't worry, you would sound better on the day itself...and we did sound better...it's really encouraging to see young(er) people coming together to give glory to God...

I'm still wide-eyed from the adrenaline rush...hence am typing this post despite it being closed to midnight now...how is it that i love the adrenaline rush of performing on stage (not solo though) but hate giving presentations? oh, i guess coz most of the time i perform in a group...i just hate being in the limelight (alone)...and get bombarded with questions i don't know how to answer...

Can't wait for tomorrow night...i'll be up on board on a train down to Singapore...yes, i'll be celebrating my 30th Christmas in Singapore...i just hope i can sleep in the train coz i bought the seat ticket coz they ran our of berth tickets...

Here's the lyrics to one of the song we sang tonight...just thought i'd share the Christmas spirit:

Christmas isn't Christmas, till it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts
So give your heart to Jesus, you'll discover when you do
That is Christmas, really Christmas for you

Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire, a light like a candle glow
He's waiting now to come inside as He did so long ago
Jesus brings gift of truth and life, and makes them bloom and grow
So welcome Him with a song of joy, and when He comes you'll know.....