Read read read....

It's amazing i haven't start getting nightmares about being bombarded by boss with questions i can never seem to answer....i guess it's coz it's been happening on a daily basis that my subconscious has been dulled...plus the fact that these days i don't seem to be able to sleep long enough to reach the REM sleep for dreams to happen...and no, my sleep deprivation is not due to insomnia...in fact, i think i've been cured of my sleepless at night problem...it's just that i've been on call so often and been coming home late from work that i just feel tired most of the time...i haven't been working out since this year started...

And big boss and boss have been drumming into my head to "read, read, read"...and they didn't mean reading story books or novels...they meant surgical textbooks...sigh...i supposed i can't put that off much longer...so i've actually started reading boss' notes...well, progress is slow...and i can't seem to remember anything i've read...but i guess it's good that i've finally started studying again....i should reward myself with a new novel next month if i managed to read a whole folder of boss' notes....i'm thinking maybe a certain classic revolving around a girl named Alice....

I had 5 appendicectomies during my call on Wednesday...i should have been able to practice on that but unfortunately the HOs wanted to do them...i actually dislike the idea of supervising HOs doing appendicectomy...coz i'm not proficient enough to do any damage control if they screwed up....which would bound to happen...and which happened to the 3 appendicectomies which i allowed the HOs to perform....sigh....i don't think i can take the stress...and to think that the poor patients would have to suffer under my hands...have i not enough blood on my head from my GA times?

I'm just praying that nothing would happen to those patients...as in they won't come back with complications....sigh...i supposed that should be motivation enough for me to study so that i know what i'm doing....well, time to get back to my notes...