Another week....

So i've survived another week...this week we were left with 4 MOs...3 of us 1st years and the registrar...thankfully there were no free flaps...so we could breath a little easier...but it was still an overwhelming week for me...coz i had to prepare a journal presentation...as a punishment for not ensuring the person who was supposed to be in OT and the 1st patient on the list arrived in OT before the boss did...as if i could control things like that...if i did, i would be God and my boss wouldn't be my boss...so basically i was punished for not being God...really, and they say men are more rational than us women...

So i had to hunt for journals in the library on Monday...thankfully, i did manage to find the journals i needed...and so i was preparing my presentation in the library...just as i saved my presentation and was about to send it to my email account, there was a blackout...Elaine commented in my FB saying "why do things keep happening to you?"...honestly i have no idea and i would love to know why too...it's not like i make "Lord-please-let-unfortunate-things-happen-to-me-on-a-daily-basis-so-i-have-things-to-complain-about-in-FB" my daily prayer request...well, thank God that the power came back after an hour or so...so i managed to get the file on my email so that i could continue my work elsewhere...

And my cute boss was picking on me the whole week long, that i no longer find him cute...i'm sure he meant well with all his nagging...but really, men who nag are such turn-offs...and on Thursday, i managed to revised my flap presentation while i was on call...i thought i had a great call come Friday morning...coz i was waiting for the ortho ppl to call me regarding this suspected femoral artery thrombosis patient...but no calls came...then i found out from my colleague who went to icu for round in the morning that my boss went in for that patient and did a PTFE graft bypass...and he didn't even bother calling me to go in...did he really think i'm that un-useful? or did the ortho ppl tried calling me and couldn't get through to me so they called my boss instead? but i didn't get any msges saying i had 100 miss calls from the hospital...dang!!! i just hope i'm not in trouble when i go to work on Sunday...

Anyway, i'm just glad another week is over...my life has been reduced to so little that every little good thing that happens feels so good...back then, i guess i've taken for granted all the good things i had...now i'm counting every blessings despite all the shit that's happening...and i have to thank Corrinne May for her songs...they really help me draw nearer to God...just wanna share some songs of hers that have kept me sane the past week....

Safe in A Crazy World by Corrinne May

I try to smile my tears away,
I try to keep my cool.
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter,
My heart just wants to bleed and stop Believing in me.

It feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and i crumble and I'm sinking to my knees for you
You cradle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's on a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

5 Loaves & 2 Fishes by Corrinne May

A little of 13 was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
And he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one Man
He spoke with such wisdom even the kids could understand
The hours passes so quickly, the day turned into night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox, at the little that he had
He wasn’t sure what good it’ll do, there were thousands to be fed
But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus, the kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out with the trust of a child

He said

* Take my 5 loaves and 2 fishes
Do with it as You will
I surrender
Take my fears my inhibitions
All my burdens my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all (I hope it’s not too small) (no gift is too small)

I often think about that boy
When I’m feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face I will offer up in prayer
So I’ll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, You can work miracles
All You need is my Amen

Repeat *

I trust in You, I trust in You

Everything In Its Time by Corrinne May

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Do check out the songs...she's really a brilliant singer-songwriter...and her voice will definitely calm a soul in turmoil...will share more songs another time...